Kick-Ass (2010)
VERDICT:
3/10 Junior Assassins
More like Sucks-Ass.
Kick-Ass is about an otherwise normal High School teen with a select group of nerdy friends and a complete lack of game with the ladies who up and decides he’s gonna be a superhero after getting pushed around one too many times while others looked on. After one fateful night where he gets his skull thumped and saves a guy from a group of thugs in wife beaters, he becomes an overnight internet sensation and finds himself teaming up with actual superheroes who know what they’re doing to take down NYC’s biggest drug lord.
For all intents and purposes, I’m the person this movie is catered to – twenty-something geek who’s fantasized at some point in his life that he was actually a candidate for Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. For chrissakes, I’m writing a damn screenplay about that fantasy.
So when I first heard there was a movie about a kid who turns into a homemade superhero and calls himself Kick-Ass, I was grinning like an idiot. Then I saw the trailer, realized that this thing looked like shit and pretty much lost interest. But thanks to a tsunami of overwhelmingly positive advance reviews, I regrettably ignored my better judgment and dropped another 12 bucks on a movie I shouldn’t have.
Look, I could care less about kids shooting up gangsters, it’s not about that and it’s not like this is the American version of Battle Royale. Granted, I could have done without a guy exploding in a microwave, but the real problem with this movie is that it tries so hard to be as awesome as its title that it just ends up having the total opposite effect. We’ve all come across people who try too hard, and, let’s face it, those people are awfully annoying.
It just tries so hard to be cool, it tries so hard to be funny and it tries so hard to be cutting edge but it goes about doing it all wrong. Don’t introduce your main character by giving him a monologue about how much he jerks off, what the hell were you thinking trying to make “Say hello to my little friend!” sound funny when you know it’s not, and don’t give what should be the most badass role of the whole cast to Nic Cage. There’s nothing cool about Nic Cage and, you guessed it, he yells and acts like a total jackass for no reason once again. Why he adopts a backwoods hillbilly accent towards the end, I do not know.
There was an obvious failure to communicate in all those regards, but then again, the script is just crappy in general. The romantic plot line is nothing new and super corny, the dialogue is really lame, Kick-Ass is pretty lame along with Aaron Johnson – the miscast kid who plays him – and…FUCK, this movie should have been cool. The only scene that worked and started to lean in the right direction was when Kick-Ass saves that guy’s life and lands himself on YouTube, but the rest was a near-grating experience to sit through.
But the best part of Kick-Ass thankfully comes in the form of Chloe Moretz. Chloe here plays Hit Girl, and when she’s actually kicking ass instead of dropping the “C”-word (I hate that word), she’s actually the closest this movie gets to being boss. And while Nic Cage’s stuntman has a pretty sweet one-man-army scene where takes out a dozen or so guys in one fell swoop, Chloe has the best shootout of the whole movie thanks to her diligent note-taking during the highlight reels of Equilibrium and Desperado and that I dug.
Clark Duke is also the only legitimate and much-needed comic relief as Kick-Ass’ best friend, and McLovin is still McLovin.
I wasn’t expecting Kick-Ass to blow as much as it did, but for a movie with a great premise that oozed potential, it really fell flat, it wasn’t fun and it was one of the few times in recent memory where I wish The Movie Angel had been standing outside the theater with a crisp 12-dollar bill to give me so that he could make it all better. I haven’t read the comics by Mark Millar that it’s based on, so I’m guessing they’re better, but I also thought his Wanted series kinda sucked too and paled in comparison to the movie.
So, yeah, no one’s a winner on this one. Quite the bummer.
Still love the title though. And Kick-Ass’ costume, especially the Tims.
Death at a Funeral (2007)
VERDICT:
6/10 Open Caskets
Talk about déjà vu, old chum.
Death at a Funeral is about a guy who’s put in charge of hosting his father’s funeral while the rest of his extended family does their unintentional best to make the day a living a hell by feeding each other hits of extra-strength acid, taking care of angry old uncles in wheelchairs and figuring out how to avoid being blackmailed by a horny dwarf.
Now, some of you may have noticed that this synopsis is the same one I wrote up for the 2010 American remake that I reviewed yesterday (very astute of you). Well, that’s because they’re pretty much the exact same movie, only this time everyone’s white and they all say “rubbish” instead of “garbage”. In retrospect, I really should have watched this first before seeing the inferior remake, but that’s where I’m at and, even so, I don’t think I’ll be losing sleep over it either.
So, yeah, the two movies pretty much mirror each other in every way thanks to a script by Dean Craig that more or less went untouched in translation from East to West. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it pretty strange that he didn’t change a damn thing from the plot to the dialogue outside of making it more accessible for us Yanks by making it about a black family from Los Angeles. Sure wish I knew that ahead of time so I could have mixed it up a bit instead of watching the same thing twice in two days, but then again, Craig just made himself some easy money and I’m pretty sure I’d do the same thing.
But nonetheless, there are a few noticeable differences that boosted this up from a 4 to a 6.
For starters, the cast is a lot better and they make the movie feel more natural instead of turning it into a spectacle of sorts. Maybe that kind of thing just comes naturally to those classy Brits, but they make it feel more like an actual family rather than a cast of characters, they add a lot more heart to the story and they simply makes things funnier.
The most noteworthy example of this is Alan Tudyk, even though he’s not even British to begin with. His whole deal is that he has to act like he’s tripping balls the entire movie – which is fine by me – but he’s got some great ticks and freakout moments that kept me laughing when everything else wasn’t exactly delivering on that front. Good stuff and it doesn’t hurt that his fake British accent makes him sound like one of The Knights Who Say “NI!”
As far as the rest of the cast is concerned, they’re all good, but Tudyk is the standout. Unfortunately, someone does get pooped on in this version as well, and we also get to see the said guy get pooped on, but there’s less of a gag factor to it this time around and less of an emphasis on seeing how many surfaces and orifices can get fecally violated over the course of five minutes. Regardless, still not a big fan of the scene.
Not surprisingly, the original Death at a Funeral is the one worth seeing over the remake, but I still wasn’t bowled over by it and it still felt strangely awkward/forced at times. My gut instinct tells me to give this one a 5, but considering I kinda blew the experience for myself and that it does pick up quite a bit by the last half-hour, I’m giving it the benefit of the doubt this time around.
Still not really sold on British humor though. Except for Holy Grail, that I’m sold on.
Miles Finch is better in it, too.
And the best trilogy is…
STAR WARS: EPISODES IV-VI
I thought LotR had it in the bag with this one, but I am pleasantly surprised with this most epic of voter turnouts.
53 votes?
Jesus H. Murphy. All this typing and bloggery of sorts seems to be paying off.
RESULTS:
– The Lord of the Rings: 10 votes
– The Godfather: 4 votes (blame Sofia)
– Back to the Future: 3 votes
– Mad Max: 2 votes (blame Master Blaster)
– The Bourne Trilogy: 6 votes
– Star Wars IV-VI: 19 votes
– The Dollars Trilogy: 3 votes (single tear…)
– Other: 2 votes for Spy Kids (am I missing something here?), 1 vote for “Indiana Jones total counts… what’s this you say about a fourth movie? Hum” (unfortunately for all of us, there was a fourth movie), 1 vote for the Spider-Man trilogy (someone out there likes you, emo Spidey) and 1 totally awesome vote for the Evil Dead trilogy (cannot believe I didn’t include that from the get-go).
Well played, dear readers. And now to address that other trilogy…
My Ten Movie Facts
Hey folks,
Word on the street is that there’s this new meme running around the internets and apparently I’ve been tagged by Hal, Kai, and Olive to do my part and run down ten movie-related secrets about my crazy-ass life that I had previously planned on taking with me to grave. Neato bandito, huh?
So without further ado…
#10: The first R-rated movie I remember seeing on video was The Terminator. Yes, it was awesome, but that scene at the end where the terminator is crawling after a hobbled Sarah Connor in the factory scared the effing ess out of me.
#9: The first R-rated movie I saw in theaters was Ransom. Probably wasn’t the best idea to take a ten-year-old to a movie about a ten-year-old who gets kidnapped and tortured for two hours, but hey, good times all the same.
#8: I once had breakfast with Gary Sinise. Very cool dude, very grounded. Not the kind of guy who would kidnap Mel Gibson’s ten-year-old son
#7: Chucky haunted my dreams for an embarrassingly long amount of time. It all goes back to my waking up from a nap while on vacation with my dad and his co-workers, not being able to find anyone in the house, then walking into a room to find everyone huddled around the TV watching Child’s Play. Being the curious numbskull that I was, I looked at the screen and saw a charred and ashen Chucky standing over a seven-year-old kid with a butcher knife in hand. I then left the room quietly, allowed the experience to terrify me for years on end until I finally sat myself down in High School and watched the first two movies straight through. Turns out he’s not scary whatsoever, but I still kinda hate looking at that pumpkin pie-haircutted freak.
#6: I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder in my life than when I first saw Dumb & Dumber in theaters. I was in third grade, I saw it with my best friend at the time and few things in life catered to our high-brow senses of humor as a scene dedicated entirely to explosive diarrhea. The only time I’ve found myself on the floor laughing with a kung-fu grip on my groin so that I wouldn’t piss myself. Awesome.
#5: Braveheart was my favorite movie for a long time. That “FREEDOM!” thing at the end still gets me.
#4: Even though I should probably get around to finishing my own script first, I’d really like to be the guy to write the adaptation for Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle. That would be most awesome.
#3: I used to have a huge and certifiably kickass DVD collection that I kept in one of those extra large CD binders, but then one day some punk kid broke into my house and stole it along with my PS2 and a poster for Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. Wasn’t too psyched about it and wasn’t too psyched about all my video games being in the binder too, but I am slowly building that sucker back up and I did get a MacBook out of the insurance check. Damn kids these days…
#2: I love horror movies, but I’m a total bitch when it comes to actually watching them. I do this thing where I nonchalantly plug up my ears with my index fingers because I’m convinced that the scariest part about horror movies is the damn noise. It looks ridiculous, but I’m tellin’ ya, it works like gangbusters.
#1: Clint Eastwood might be the best thing that’s ever happened to this planet. Right up there with fire and antibiotics. If I never get to meet him in person, I’m gonna be really bummed out.
Well, that’s it, folks. Funny how long it took me to rack my brain about this, but I’m always glad to get a chance to write about the comedic effects of explosive diarrhea. Good stuff.
So now I gotsta tag 5 more folks for this thingermajig…
1: Dan at Dan the Man’s Movie Reviews
2: Sasha at The Final Girl Project
3: Ruben at My Floating Red Couch
4: nothatwasacompliment at The Robot Who Likes Pretty Things
5: Jimbob at Jimbob’s Movie Reviews
Do it to it, gang!
Death at a Funeral (2010)
VERDICT:
4/10 Closed Caskets
Wasn’t expecting much, didn’t get much. One of those deals.
Death at a Funeral is about a guy who’s put in charge of hosting his father’s funeral while the rest of his extended family does their unintentional best to make the day a living a hell by feeding each other hits of extra-strength acid, taking care of angry old uncles in wheelchairs and figuring out how to avoid being blackmailed by a horny dwarf.
Man, Walter and The Dude had it figure out. Cremation really is the way to go.
So despite that it’s sitting a yard away from me in its Netflix slip as I write this, I still have yet to see the original Death at a Funeral that this movie is based off of. I swear I’ll get around to it, I pinky swear, but it looks like I’ll be saving the comparison piece for another day. Though considering that this is written by the same guy and also features Peter Dinklage as the said horny dwarf, I’m just gonna go ahead anyway. Going out on a limb here and assuming that I’m probably not missing out on any big plot twists.
Now, this here is the latest effort by director Neil LaBute, and I hope I’m not the only one out there who’s wondering why in the hell this is the latest effort by director Neil LaBute. This is the guy who broke into the scene is a big ol’ way ’97 with In the Company of Men, this guy was an edgy mother effer back in the day and I was expecting some major things from him a good decade or so down the road. But alas, now he’s the guy behind Lakeview Terrace and the bear-suit-boxing epic shitheap of a remake that is The Wicker Man, and it makes me sad.
Granted, this isn’t that bad by any means, but the point is that the dude seriously needs to up his game.
I actually don’t have a whole lot to say about this movie, but the best compliment I can give is that it plays to the strengths of its cast. You’ve got Tracy Morgan being Tracy Morgan which is always pretty entertaining, Danny Glover being all old and curmudgeonly and saying, “I’m too old for this shit,” because everyone likes a good Lethal Weapon reference every now and again, and…well, I guess that’s about it. Those two are pretty funny, and other folks like Luke Wilson and James Marsden have their moments, but that’s about all I’ve got.
What I wasn’t expecting is how awkward this movie was to watch, about as awkward as watching a wake hypothetically go up in the flames of a most ridiculous set of circumstances. Maybe this isn’t foreboding well for how I’m gonna react to the first movie, but I’m keeping an open mind (they must have remade it for some reason). But occasionally it works and is easy to play along with, but then you get a scene where Danny Glover literally takes a dump on Tracy Morgan and I gotta wonder, “Really?”
Rule #1 with poop jokes: DON’T. SHOW. THE. POOP. That’s just gross.
Write that one down, kids. You’re our future.
The truth is, I wasn’t crazy to see Death at a Funeral to begin with, but it did have enough chuckle-inducing moments in it to elevate it from its tentative verdict as a 3 and make for a decent enough way to spend an afternoon. Something tells me the original’s the one to see in this situation and I’ll probably forget I even saw this by tomorrow’s review, but for a remake, it could have been worse.
Peter Dinklage should really just change his name to Miles Finch already.
La Femme Nikita (1990)
VERDICT:
9/10 Junkie Assassins
Arguably the best thing Luc Besson’s ever done, and I’m a huge fan of The Professional.
La Femme Nikita is about a crazy French junkie who snuffs out a cop while her friends are robbing a pharmacy, so they throw the book at her and she subsequently gets locked up for life. But as fate may have it, the government decides to fake her death and spare her life so that they can fix her up, make her look all pretty and train her as their own personal assassin. Turns out that Nikita takes to professional killing like a fish to water, but she soon learns that trying to lead a normal life while moonlighting as a hitwoman isn’t exactly a breeze.
Tell me about it.
So, Luc Busson. The guy’s awesome. Really awesome. Hasn’t done anything worth noting in a while, but back in the good ol’ ’90s, he was no joke. That’s because Besson’s forte’ is in badass characters with heavy-duty firearms, taking a scene from normal to nutso at a moment’s notice and backing it all up with razor sharp writing to just make everyone and everything twice as cool as they already are. Not a lot of folks out there direct movies like Besson and Nikita is one awesome display of what he does best.
You know what, screw it, this thing just turned into a love letter.
“Dear Luc,
You’re the man. Here’s what’s up…
I love the opening shot of Nikita and her junkie pals walking down the streets of France with techno-pop playing in the background. It sets the mood right away, the pharmacy job is a kickass scene and I am smitten with how gritty it is. What is it about the guns in low-budget action movies like this and The Terminator that made them sound so cool? You need to bring that back.
I love how damn cool it all is. The outfits, the action, the characters, the quiet strength of the dialogue – all of it comes together gorgeously and this sucker just oozes with style. This is a very meticulously made movie on every front and you sure have a keen eye for everything boss.
I love that Nikita is a woman. That is cool as sin, especially considering that Ellen Ripley, Sarah Connor and Trinity are the only other seriously awesome action heroines I can think of off the top of my head. Anne Parillaud is great as Nikita, she handles a Desert Eagle like a pro and we need more women like her in movies. We’ve got tough guys to burn nowadays.
I love that Jean Reno has a role as a cleaner and that he looks just like Leon but acts even cooler. Jean Reno is the French badass and it’s a damn shame that more filmmakers out there haven’t come to this obvious realization. Everyone needs to quit casting Jude Law already and give this man some work!
I love the poster. Just look at that poster. I am going to buy that poster.
Man, I just love La Femme Nikita. That is all.
Sincerely,
Aiden R.
P.S.: I love you.”
Look, if you dig The Professional, you’ll dig this. The pacing might not be as tight and it’s severely lacking in the Gary Oldman department, but Nikita‘s got a better story that’s completely devoid of ambiguous pedophilia and it’s just a super cool, badass movie that still totally holds up two decades later. Sorry for all the Professional comparisons, but you bring up Luc Besson and the first thing people think is either The Professional or “Who’s Luc Besson?”
Eh, such is life.
And DO NOT SEE the shot-for-shot American remake, Point of No Return. It fucking sucks.
The Proposal (2009)
VERDICT:
5/10 Workplace Harrassment Claims
Predictable as all hell, but it wasn’t pure torture like I was expecting.
The Proposal is about an editor’s assistant at a big time publishing house who gets blackmailed by his bitchy boss into pretending that they’re engaged so that she doesn’t get shipped back to Canada since she forgot to fill out a Do Not Deport form on her taxes or something. So in an effort to make their scheme look legit, they go spend a weekend with the guy’s family in Alaska (Oh, dear! Anything but Alaska!) for his granny’s 80th birthday and try to make this awkward situation as painless as possible so they can just get married, get divorced and get it over with.
Call me crazy, but sounds like there’s more going on between these two than meets the eye. Love, perhaps?
No shit.
Now, I’m not one for throwing spoilers into my reviews, but who am I kidding, a mere glance at this poster in passing pretty much gives away the whole damn movie. Opposites attract, right? What else is new. But the strange thing is that this time around it didn’t really bother me all that much. I knew exactly what I was getting myself into the second I sat down to watch this with my good buddy Fred, but I was totally surprised at how long this thing stayed at a 6 out of 10 before finally having to take it down a notch during the last half-hour or so.
And a lot of that is due to our cooky little couple of Ryan and Sandra.
Man, I still don’t really know what to think about Ryan Reynolds. He seems to have a whole lot of potential, he’s got a good sense of humor and I think he’s gonna be the bomb as Deadpool (still skeptical about Green Lantern though), but the guy keeps on taking the same Hollywood romcom roles that are giving him zero room to grow. Nonetheless, he’s fun to watch here, still has a good sense of humor and he has good chemistry with Sandra. Not too shabby for one more romcom.
The only issue I’ve got with Sandra is that she’s good when she’s doing the whole Miranda Priestly/Anna Wintour shtick, but then she starts to loosen up and starts being nice to people, and that just doesn’t work. But other than that, she’s good and I’ve really warmed up to the gal since her awesome Razzies acceptance speech and recent discovery that she’s actually quite down-to-Earth.
So way to go, Sandra! That husband of your is a douche!
But like I said, this was a 6 for a while and if it weren’t for a scene where Sandra starts booty dancing to “Get Low” by Lil John while yelling “Sweat drips down my balls!” in the middle of the woods with Betty White in her Dances with Wolves gear looking on, it probably would have stayed that way. That, my friends, was a God-awful scene. But Betty White is pretty entertaining.
And even though I knew this was gonna be predictable going in, it’s always kind of a bummer to realize at the end that it actually is that predictable. Not quite sure why I wasn’t all too phased by it until that point, but, yeah, that was disappointing. Could have used a random car crash or a T-rex or something to spice things up a bit.
The Proposal‘s cute and enoyable, but it is what it is. Had to remind myself that I actually saw this after a week had gone by, so that’s no good, although it does have some funny lines here and there, it could have been worse and, hey, Coach is in it.
Coach. Good show.
Charley Varrick (1973)
VERDICT:
7/10 Smart Cookies
Just one more reason why Matthau was the man.
Charley Varrick is about a guy who pulls a bank job in a small town in New Mexico and quickly realizes that the reason he made off with an astronomically larger amount of dough than he was expecting is because he accidentally stole from the mob’s private stash. Lucky for Charley, he’s not a freakin’ idiot like the guy he’s traveling with and so he does his best to stay one step ahead of the game before the mob finds him first.
Not sure how many people know about this movie, but it’s one of those things I’ve been hearing about in passing for years from folks along the way who know a thing or two about truly badass movies. And considering that no one does badass movies anymore like they did in the ’60s and ’70s, it was about damn time I got around to it.
It’s directed by Don Siegel, the same guy behind Dirty Harry and Escape from Alcatraz, so we’re already off to a good start. And even though Varrick isn’t quite up to the same caliber as these two Eastwood gems, it’s got a lot of the same elements that made them both totally awesome.
Right away, Siegel opens it up with the said bank heist. He doesn’t waste any time with trivial crap like strategizing or clueing the audience into what’s going on, he shoots first and asks questions later and hooks you in before you even have time to ask what the hell is going on. It’s a mean, wild scene and it sets a great tone for what’s ahead, the only problem is that it has trouble keeping that adrenaline rush pumping throughout the rest of movie as Charlie tries to do everything in his power not to land himself in a six-foot ditch.
And despite how cool the dialogue and the characters are, it’s hard not to notice this sudden lull in the pacing. Granted, pacing back then wasn’t as ADHD-friendly as it is today, but when you start a movie off with a freakin’ bank robbery, you’d kinda hope that the next scene to mirror that level of intensity doesn’t come in the last ten or fifteen minutes of the movie. Unfortunately, such is the case, but that last scene is completely worth sticking around for and it’s not as though everything in between is garbage.
But the upside is that the script is solid and the dialogue is cool and the characters are badasses, so it’s not like I was gritting my teeth watching this thing, you just need to have some patience with it and actually listen to what everyone is saying. Personally, I like to listen; you pick up a lot when guns aren’t going off every five seconds.
The other big upside is that Walter Matthau continues to solidify his rep as one of the all-time greats as Charley, and for a guy who probably wouldn’t strike me as the most intimidating fella’ out there, he sure knew how to play it cool and he’s a blast to watch. Also love that there’s no good guys in this movie and that Varrick is an anti-hero with brains instead of just a guy on the run. Reminded me a lot of Heist and it’s awesome to see his plans play out, especially since he’s the only one who knows what’s going on.
What a stud.
And Joe Don Baker is a damn good villain as the mob’s muscle, Molly -one of those guys who’s been in absolutely everything. Same goes for John Vernon (aka: Dean Wormer).
So, it didn’t quite live up to all the subtle hype surrounding, but Charley Varrick is still another great example of badassery back when it was done right. It’s a fun ride, it’s tough as nails and it’s a great reason to check out Matthau if the only thing you associate him with is Grumpy Old Men. He was a funny dude alright, but, man, did he mean business.
Road House (1989)
VERDICT:
8/10 Mullet Furies
Kung-fu bar fights. Boobs galore. Patrick Swayze.
I don’t even know why they kept making movies after this.
Road House is about a bouncer of legend who makes his way to a small town in Texas to clean up a dive bar that’s hit rock bottom and, in turn, take down the corrupt bastard who’s got the whole damn town under his greedy little thumb.
I meant to have this review up a couple weeks ago to coincide with Kai B. Parker’s post on “Reasons Why Road House Rules“, but since I’m an idiot and hadn’t already seen this, it took me a minute to get my queue in order and free up two hours for what I now realize is the one thing that has finally filled the void in my deeply deprived life. I’ll try not mention all the things Kai already listed, but it’s gonna be hard, because they are all truly integral to the experience.
But let’s start with the poster, more specifically its tag lines. It reads: “Dalton lives like a loner, fights like a professional. And lives like there’s no tomorrow…ROAD HOUSE.” And in case you didn’t get the gist, you dense mother effer, you, we’re left with: “The dancing’s over. Now it gets dirty.” Also note the inclusion of Swayze banging a girl over the title.
Nice.
And, honestly, the poster says it all and is pretty up front about what you’re signing up for. Sure, the grammar’s a little suspect, but good luck bringing that up with Dalton, because he ain’t hearing it. Hope you enjoyed the days of not having your larynx ripped out, ’cause you have just entered a world of sweet pain, my friend.
Man, there are tons of reasons why this movie rocks, but it all really boils down to Swayze. If you haven’t already caught on, Swayze plays Dalton, and despite how completely stupid the idea of focusing a movie around a bouncer who’s the Sun Tzu of bar room justice and wisdom is, Swayze ends up making it work a whole lot more than it should. For every situation he’s always got some deep knowledge to drop like, “Pain don’t hurt,” or “Nobody ever wins a fight,” or “Go fuck yourself,” but lucky for everyone involved in this movie, Swayze is the essence of cool.
Yeah, we’re talking some profound shit here, folks, and as hilarious as it all is, I can’t help but dig how Swayze makes it come off as un-corny as possible. He really was an awesome dude and this really is an awesome tribute to how cool he truly was.
And Sam Elliott is a total badass as Dalton’s mentor, Wade Garrett. When is Sam Elliott not a badass?
Also stands as a front-runner for the best final line with, “A polar bear fell on me.” Suck on that, Casablanca.
I wasn’t expecting to like Road House and as much as this review might sound totally ridiculous, I really did have a freakin’ blast with it. It’s no work of art and it doesn’t have a whole lot to say on anything outside of the importance of kicking someone in the knee, but it’s not exactly taking itself all that seriously either and it knows the audience it’s catering to (drunk guys). Believe it or not, this thing is actually a great time, it had me cracking up throughout and it’s awesome to watch Swayze dish out the pain with his crazy blend of roundhouse punches and leaping kicks. Totally lived up to the hype.
Can’t wait to see this hammered. Thinking this is gonna be closer to a 9 the next time around.
Oh, and if you ever find yourself on the short end of a Mexican standoff, always, always kick the gun out of the other guy’s hand before he can get a shot off. Trust me, it’s a surefire thing. Dalton taught me that. Dalton taught me a lot of things.
And the best Traveling Wilbury is…
BOB DYLAN!
Gotta say, choosing between between Bob-freakin’-Dylan, the best Beatle, the guy behind “Mary Jane’s Last Dance and the guy that Henry Winkler has an ass tattoo of wasn’t easy. But the people have spoken and I’m pretty pleased with the verdict. Lovin’ these music polls if I do say so myself.
Well done, y’all, and a fine poll suggestion by Ross McG.
RESULTS:
– George Harrison: 11 votes
– Roy Orbison: 3 votes
– Jeff Lynne: 0 votes (I don’t even think Jeff Lynne knows who Jeff Lynne is)
– Bob Dylan: 13 votes
– Tom Petty: 7 votes
Video pancakes, indeed.
Cut The Crap Movie Reviews 
