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My Ten Movie Facts

April 19, 2010

Hey folks,

Word on the street is that there’s this new meme running around the internets and apparently I’ve been tagged by Hal, Kai, and Olive to do my part and run down ten movie-related secrets about my crazy-ass life that I had previously planned on taking with me to grave. Neato bandito, huh?

So without further ado…

#10: The first R-rated movie I remember seeing on video was The Terminator. Yes, it was awesome, but that scene at the end where the terminator is crawling after a hobbled Sarah Connor in the factory scared the effing ess out of me.

#9: The first R-rated movie I saw in theaters was Ransom. Probably wasn’t the best idea to take a ten-year-old to a movie about a ten-year-old who gets kidnapped and tortured for two hours, but hey, good times all the same.

#8: I once had breakfast with Gary Sinise. Very cool dude, very grounded. Not the kind of guy who would kidnap Mel Gibson’s ten-year-old son

#7: Chucky haunted my dreams for an embarrassingly long amount of time. It all goes back to my waking up from a nap while on vacation with my dad and his co-workers, not being able to find anyone in the house, then walking into a room to find everyone huddled around the TV watching Child’s Play. Being the curious numbskull that I was, I looked at the screen and saw a charred and ashen Chucky standing over a seven-year-old kid with a butcher knife in hand. I then left the room quietly, allowed the experience to terrify me for years on end until I finally sat myself down in High School and watched the first two movies straight through. Turns out he’s not scary whatsoever, but I still kinda hate looking at that pumpkin pie-haircutted freak.

#6: I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder in my life than when I first saw Dumb & Dumber in theaters. I was in third grade, I saw it with my best friend at the time and few things in life catered to our high-brow senses of humor as a scene dedicated entirely to explosive diarrhea. The only time I’ve found myself on the floor laughing with a kung-fu grip on my groin so that I wouldn’t piss myself. Awesome.

#5: Braveheart was my favorite movie for a long time. That “FREEDOM!” thing at the end still gets me.

#4: Even though I should probably get around to finishing my own script first, I’d really like to be the guy to write the adaptation for Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle. That would be most awesome.

#3: I used to have a huge and certifiably kickass DVD collection that I kept in one of those extra large CD binders, but then one day some punk kid broke into my house and stole it along with my PS2 and a poster for Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. Wasn’t too psyched about it and wasn’t too psyched about all my video games being in the binder too, but I am slowly building that sucker back up and I did get a MacBook out of the insurance check. Damn kids these days…

#2: I love horror movies, but I’m a total bitch when it comes to actually watching them. I do this thing where I nonchalantly plug up my ears with my index fingers because I’m convinced that the scariest part about horror movies is the damn noise. It looks ridiculous, but I’m tellin’ ya, it works like gangbusters.

#1: Clint Eastwood might be the best thing that’s ever happened to this planet. Right up there with fire and antibiotics. If I never get to meet him in person, I’m gonna be really bummed out.

Well, that’s it, folks. Funny how long it took me to rack my brain about this, but I’m always glad to get a chance to write about the comedic effects of explosive diarrhea. Good stuff.

So now I gotsta tag 5 more folks for this thingermajig…

1: Dan at Dan the Man’s Movie Reviews
2: Sasha at The Final Girl Project
3: Ruben at My Floating Red Couch
4: nothatwasacompliment at The Robot Who Likes Pretty Things
5: Jimbob at Jimbob’s Movie Reviews

Do it to it, gang!

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27 Comments leave one →
  1. April 19, 2010 2:27 pm

    Really great post. Love it when movie bloggers just talk about their love of movies and how they affect their life. Best part of the gig.

  2. April 19, 2010 3:03 pm

    You met Gary Sinise? How cool is that:)
    Might take you up on your tip for watching horrors…

    • April 19, 2010 4:12 pm

      It’s a foolproof trick. Enjoy!

    • April 20, 2010 2:10 pm

      #7 sounds like CP2, no?

      Also, my mom does that fingers in the ears thing — so you’re not alone. You’re just alone as a man.

      • April 20, 2010 2:11 pm

        Wow. That is some cold shit.

      • April 20, 2010 2:12 pm

        And it’s definitely in CP1 when he gets chucked into the fireplace. Distinctly remember the mom from 7th Heaven being in that scene and she was only in CP1.

  3. April 19, 2010 5:46 pm

    http://www.finalgirlproject.com/?p=1864

    I followed order, good sir.

  4. April 19, 2010 5:59 pm

    I had the same problem with #7 for a few years when I was 5, or 6.

    • April 19, 2010 6:26 pm

      Creepy little bastard, right? Boy did I hate dolls after that.

  5. April 19, 2010 10:08 pm

    Couple thoughts…
    1. The guy that stole your shit is an asshole but the fact that he also took the poster makes him seem like an even bigger dick!
    2. You had breakfast with Gary Sinise… real cool guy… THAT’S IT??? Details, man… how did this come to be?

    • April 20, 2010 9:33 am

      Haha, so the Sinise story goes as such…
      Five years ago or so my mom got an honorary degree from her old college along with a handful of other notable folks, one of whom was Sinise. The day before they had to give speeches and such, my mom woke me up in our hotel, told me Sinise was staying in the hotel too and that we were gonna be having breakfast with him. I thought she was joking and tried to use him as a way to get my lazy ass up, but lo and behold, there he was drinking his coffee and eating a muffin. I was a little too shellshocked to say anything to him of value outside of “Morning!”, but he said some cool stuff to everyone else and was a very pleasant individual to dine with. So yeah, that’s the my story, we still hang out all the time.

      • April 21, 2010 5:16 pm

        Not only met Gary Sinise but had breakfast with Lieutenant Dan? How cool is that??! Glad to hear he’s a nice guy. LOL about #9, yeah probably wasn’t the best idea but it could be worse. Have never seen Chucky but the one that terrified me was The Dolls, man there’s a reason I was more into playing cars than dolls in my childhood, creepy, creepy, creepy!

      • April 21, 2010 5:24 pm

        Never heard of The Dolls, but I feel your pain. I’ve way too many stories about being terrified of dolls after Chucky, but I’ll save those for another meme.

      • April 21, 2010 6:15 pm

        The Dolls=FRC’s first scary movie. I recommend putting it near the top of your queue. That piece of 90 minute crap brilliance gave me the courage to tackle Child’s Play 1 and 2 back to back.

      • April 22, 2010 12:17 pm

        I know I shouldn’t say this since I haven’t seen the entire movie, but I think The Dolls might be more frightening than Chucky. Oh, and it’s not just one doll we’re talking about, it’s a whole house full of ’em, all fervently want to kill you in the most agonizing way. Man, it’s been almost 20 yrs ago and I can still remember ’em! Crazy how some things stay with you.

      • April 22, 2010 12:24 pm

        Jesus, remind me again why I should see this?

      • April 22, 2010 12:26 pm

        to prove your manhood by not being afraid of dolls

      • April 22, 2010 12:27 pm

        Wow, I just got put in my place.

  6. April 19, 2010 11:06 pm

    You had breakfast with Gary Sinise?!?! That’s fucking awesome, I’m jealous 🙂 I’m with Kai on getting more details! I see you had a traumatic childhood experience that scarred you for life. Mine was not Chucky, it was those little shits from Puppet Master that traumatized me for a while 😉

    • April 20, 2010 7:29 am

      Believe you me, the Chucky fear easily transferred over to Puppet Master. I never even went near that one. I’ll fill you in on the Gary Sinise thing in a few.

  7. Darren permalink
    April 20, 2010 3:15 am

    Amen on Eastwood. That man is just so ridiculously talented, but also casually badass. And, Sinise? I’m jealous!

  8. April 20, 2010 8:19 pm

    My childhood horror movie tormentor was IT. God damn that fkn clown! And my first R rated video was Terminator 2, so we’re kinda similar there, but we’re polar opposites when it comes to Eastwood. He great, but I like John Wayne better as a cowboy. Wo Wo Wo! There I said it.

    • April 20, 2010 8:26 pm

      Pennywise was my girlfriend’s thing too, and I can understand why. And The Duke was good, but he’s no Clint, homey.

  9. April 21, 2010 12:59 pm

    Well my favorite film use to be The Village so I can’t judge you too much, even though I dislike Braveheart and still quite enjoy The Village.

  10. April 21, 2010 6:13 pm

    The Dolls=FRC’s 1st scary movie. Sitting through that 90 minute brilliance gave me the courage to tackle Child’s Play. Then Friday 13th, then NOES……..

    I recommend putting The dolls at the top of your queue

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