So after recently being wholeheartedly inspired by The Hatter over at The Dark of the Matinee, I’m introducing a new ongoing feature to the Cut The Crap pantheon in tribute to his most brilliant idea. Since the “About the Critic” page doesn’t give a whole lot away outside of my love for mole sauce and Vonnegut, I leave it up to you, dear readers, to ask away and dig deeper. Movies, music, blogging, camels, whatever, I’ll do my best to keep an open mind, answer you asap and post it all here. Well, that’s about it. Here goes nothin’…
Q: Elton John or Billy Joel? (Nick H.)
A: Sir Elton, but “New York State of Mind” sure is one choice ditty.
Q: Funeral, Neon Bible, or The Suburbs? (Nahuel F.A.)
A: Funeral, then Neon Bible, then The Suburbs, but they’re all out of sight. Actually just discovered “Windowsill” for the first time last week, don’t know why I always skipped over it before then, but what a great song.
Q: Do you want to consume mass amounts of details before seeing a movie, or do you prefer to know as little as possible? (The Mad Hatter himself)
A: I used to watch advance trailers like it was my job when I first started this up, but after having Iron Man 2 more or less ruined for me ’cause the trailers showed all the best parts (something tells me you’d disagree on this one), I’ve started closing my eyes and ears whenever one comes on for a movie I want to see. Going in blind is the way to go, same thing for reading other people’s reviews before I see something, but that’s another question.
Q: What films are in your pantheon??? [ie. the films that you consider so highly rated that it’s not worth praising them anymore] (Andrew Robinson – The GMan)
A: The Godfather and Pulp Fiction. The only two reviews I’ve written so far where I really didn’t know what to say because there’s only so much one can write about what is arguably the best movie ever made and the movie that singlehandedly changed the game forever. I’m sure there will be others to add to the pantheon, but so far it’s at two.
Q: If a hypochondriac thinks he has hypochondria, is he a hypochondriac? (Simon/Ripley)
A: …Trick question?
Q: Your favorite actor and actress? (Castor)
A: Actors – Once upon a time, I would have said Clint Eastwood, but these days, no one seems to rival Paul Newman. Actresses – Meryl Streep (of course) and Kathy Bates (my girl).
Q: Are there any “classic” films that you absolutely loathe? (Darren)
A: I don’t know if it’s a “classic” per se, but watching The English Patient was on par with being waterboarded. Also think The Godfather: Part II is far inferior to Part I, but DeNiro saves it from being “loathsome”.
Q: If, in the distant future, you could a) take a submersible expedition dive to the Titanic and use a highly developed version of Tintin’s diving gear in “Red Rackham’s Treasure” to plod around the ship or b) take one jolly old stroll on the moon and rename “Armstrong Crater, “Cut The Crap Crater”, which would you choose? (Roisin)
A: The one where I make the moon my bitch.
Q: Best John Cusack movie? Worst John Cusack movie? (Tickateeboo)
A: Stand by Me and 2012, but Grosse Pointe Blank is his best performance.
Q: Newman or Brando? (Nick H.)
Q: Favorite line of dialogue? And why, please? (mescribe)
A: That’s tough. Maybe “So shines a good deed in a weary world.” – Gene Wilder from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Best line of that movie, speaks volumes in and out of context, and no one seems to remember it for some reason. Terribly unfortunate.
Q: Is it possible to see the results of older polls of the week? If not, can you make that happen? (Luke H.)
A: Oh, it can be done. That pull-down bar on the right side of the front page under “The Review Vault”? Click that, click on “Poll of the Week”, go nuts. And if this is about the whole “Die Hard is not the best Christmas movie of all-time” thing, don’t shoot the messenger, I don’t even vote on these things.
Q: Favourite zombie movie? (Tickateeboo)
A: Shaun of the Dead.
Q: Favourite vampire movie? (Tickateeboo)
A: I really need to see more vampire movies and I almost hesitate to put down an answer, but I’ll go with Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust. Awesome anime movie, don’t think a whole lot of folks have seen it, and that just can’t stand. All the same, Thirst and Near Dark have just been bumped to the top of my queue.
Q: Who are your favorite on-screen duos in a Comedy and Action film? (MarkArtVandelay of Vandelay Industries)
A: Well there’s David Spade & Chris Farley in Tommy Boy, Walter Matthau & Jack Lemmon in The Odd Couple, Dan Aykroyd & John Belushi in The Blues Brothers, and while they’re all awesome, I have to go with Jim Carrey & Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber if only for nostalgia’s sake. It’s the best comedy ever made after Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I had to do it. And as for action duos, I’m tempted to say Keanu and Swayze in Point Break because I know how much you love Johnny Utah, but I might actually have to go with Sam Jackson and Bruce Willis in Die Hard with a Vengeance. I feel like there’s a probably a better action duo than those two that I’m forgetting, but that’s a great Die Hard and Sgt. Riggs is annoying as fuck.
“These pretzels…ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY!!!”
Q: Is Aiden R a badass? And if so, why? (Sam Fragoso)
A: Hell to the no. Someone’s been feeding you lies, son.
Q: What is your favorite science-fiction film? (Mikeyz)
A: Ten years ago, I would have said The Matrix in a heartbeat. While that’s still in the Top Three, I think I gotta go with Robocop if we’re talking my #1 today.
Q: What’s the “worst” film that you’re a fan of? You know, the type of film that most critics hate, but you have a soft spot for. (Chris)
A: As far as “best worst movies” are concerned, it’s hard to beat seeing The Room in a packed theater at midnight. But in terms of a legitimate movie that hasn’t done so hot with the masses, my love for The Fountain has been quite the point of contention over the years. Still think I’ll be vindicated on that one someday.