The Best Movies of 2012: #20 – #1
Here we are, folks. My super subjective Top 20 for 2012. All in all, not a bad year for movies. And in case you’re just joining us, here’s how the other 82 fared:
Day 1: #102 – #81
Day 2: #80 – #61
Day 3: #60 – #41
Day 4: #40 – #21
And with that being said, so it goes…
20. The House I Live In
As enlightening as it is appalling from both deeply personal and historical standpoints. Further proof that while drugs themselves are badder than bad, our war against them has been far costlier on more levels than I had known. Give it a watch before shooting the messenger on this one.
19. Searching for Sugar Man
Wonderful. Just wonderful. Makes you long for the days when there was still mystery to music.
18. Monsieur Lazhar
A subtle, poignant, human story that’s as timeless as it is universal. Not to mention it’s home to one of the best endings of the year and some of the best child actors I’ve ever seen.
17. The Kid with a Bike
Comes this close to irreparably shooting itself in the foot, yet somehow ends up being that much better for it. All in all, an exceptional coming-of-age story driven by brutal honesty, tough love, and two of the most genuine characters I saw in a movie all year. Not since Fish Tank has growing up felt so real.
16. The Secret World of Arrietty (Full Review)
One of the best movies that Studio Ghibli’s ever made. And that, dear readers, is some awfully high praise.
15. Samsara
A tad heavy-handed, but nothing short of stunning in what it has to say and how it goes about saying it. Unlike anything I’ve ever seen.
14. The Queen of Versailles
What an inspired, bizarre way to approach the economic crash. Still can’t believe how emotionally torn I got while watching this, but boy, does it work like gangbusters. Mark my words, folks, because it’s only a matter of time before this family winds up on Bravo.
13. Dredd (Full Review)
Color me shocked and don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it. It was the biggest surprise of the year, it was the best action movie of the year, and it was so much better in every way than I was expecting it to be. If you’re going to reboot a franchise, this is how you should do it. We’ll get back to that subject shortly.
12. The Island President
Mohamed Nasheed: the latest addition to my shortlist of personal heroes. A terribly important doc on one of the most important issues of our time. As enthralling as it is infuriating, and bonus points for a score made up entirely of Radiohead songs. A rarest of treats if there ever was one.
11. The Dark Knight Rises (Full Review)
Remember what I was saying about how to reboot a franchise? Nitpick all you want, this was one hell of a sendoff for one of the greatest movie trilogies you can find. Chris Nolan, man. Christopher-freaking-Nolan.
10. How To Survive a Plague
In a year where many docs revolved around a need for change, it was really something to find one where that change actually happened. A knock-you-on-your-ass, powerhouse of a movie that provides an utterly compelling, emotional insight into a movement that changed our world. Really makes you wonder what else we as a people could accomplish with the right leadership, determination, and focus.
9. ParaNorman (Full Review)
Wouldn’t have seen it if it hadn’t been for my 10-year-old brother, but good gravy, am I that much more grateful to be rolling with my 10-year-old brother. The best “kids movie” of the year by a long shot that has more humor, wisdom, and creativity than most “grown-up movies” I saw this year. Terrible name, but man, was this something special.
8. Looper (Full Review)
Time paradoxes aside, this is exactly why Rian Johnson needs to make more movies. What a great premise, and holy hell, was it executed to a tee. And can we all agree that 2012 was the best year Bruce Willis has had in years? Keep it up, dude.
7. Beasts of the Southern Wild (Full Review)
More so than any other movie on this list, I’ve had a damn hard time articulating what it is that I loved so much about it. But at the end of the day, it’s just one of the most human, palpable, and life-affirming movies I saw all year. Really something else, folks.
6. Amour
Incredibly sad and incredibly beautiful. Reminiscent of the humanity and power that was once commonplace in movies. And while she probably won’t get it, Emmanuelle Riva absolutely deserves Best Actress this year.
5. Django Unchained
Not only the most important movie Tarantino’s ever made, but also home to what might be the best characters he’s ever written (if not the best character in Django himself). I really keep waiting for the day when I’m gonna get tired of Tarantino, but now I’m starting to wonder if that day will ever come.
4. The Cabin in the Woods (Full Review)
Been waiting a long, long time for someone to make this movie, and couldn’t have imagined a smarter, funnier, or more flat-out brilliant result. Might not be the scare-fest some were hoping for, but in my humblest of opinions, it’s the biggest game-changer for the genre since good old Shaun of the Dead.
3. Indie Game: The Movie (Full Review)
For an industry that’s made a habit out of butchering and debasing everything I love about video games, it’s about damn time we got a movie that treats them as art. Really hit home on a whole lot of levels, and did wonders to help me forget about the damage done by Wreck-It Ralph. Just crossing my fingers that this is a sign of things to come.
2. Moonrise Kingdom (Full Review)
I’ve been pretty jaded about Wes Anderson for a while now, but after this, I am totally back on the bandwagon. Not only his best live-action movie since The Royal Tenenbaums, not only home to the best ending of the year, but also the only movie I saw twice in theaters. And believe you me, that is saying a lot. God, do I love those kids.
1. Undefeated (Full Review)
Hesitated to even put this on the list since it already won the Oscar for Best Doc last year, but since it didn’t get a theatrical release until last February, I’m making an executive decision. Folks, this is the culmination of every great sports movie you’ve ever seen, only it’s non-fiction. It’s not just lightning in a bottle, it’s everything I could ask for in a moviegoing experience, and if you give it a chance, it might just restore your faith in humanity. This is why I watch movies, this is why movies are important, so do yourself a favor and see this before Hollywood goes and remakes it. You can thank me later.
And that should do it. Even with 102 movies down, there are still a bunch that I’m kicking myself for missing (eg: Seven Psychopaths, End of Watch, This is Not a Film, Holy Motors, Detropia, Ted, Your Sister’s Sister, Neil Young Journeys, Brooklyn Castle), but alas, I’m just one man. At any rate, thanks a mil for tuning in, would love to know what your favorites were, and look for more new reviews starting up next week. Keep it real, folks!
The Best Movies of 2012: #40 – #21
Can you taste it, folks? We’re so freaking close now. For those of you unaware of what The Rock is currently cooking, here’s the deliciousness that you’ve been missing out on:
Day 1: #102 – #81
Day 2: #80 – #61
Day 3: #60 – #41
And now that we’re all on the same page, let’s see what made the cut…
40. Headhunters
Oh, the difference it makes when you’ve got a smart script with smart characters. Kept me guessing from beginning to end, and I can’t even begin to express how nice it was not having to scream at the TV for a change. Please, God, give us more scripts like these.
39. The Sessions
One hell of a cast and one refreshingly mature story about the birds and the bees. The world could use more movies that are this adult about sex. Brought me this close to tears, folks
38. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Certainly no Fellowship, and there were some truly awful scenes to boot (eg: the stone giant boxing match, the orc king’s demise and last words, and everything about that run-in with the trolls). But at the end of day, what a delight it was to be back in Middle Earth.
37. Silver Linings Playbook
Up there for the best soundtrack of the year, and what a swell movie to boot. I’m no doctor, so I can’t say much to the effect of its portrayal of bipolar disorder, although as a movie geek, it is further evidence that everything’s better when you throw in a dance competition.
36. Lincoln (Full Review)
Don’t have a single bad thing to say about it, and if you’re going to make a talking heads movie, this is an awfully good blueprint to follow. Only reason it’s not higher on the list is because it just didn’t stick with me the way some other movies did, but that’s not to say it’s undeserving of every compliment and accolade afforded to it. And who are we kidding, DDL has this one in the bag.
35. The Innkeepers (Full Review)
Scared the tar out of me like no other this year, and it’s as good as any slow burn you’re likely to find. That Ti West is one to watch, folks.
34. Skyfall (Full Review)
The more I think about it, the less gripes I have (not that I had many to begin with). Talk about one hell of a return to form in more ways than one, even if it’s still no Casino Royale.
33. Bernie (Full Review)
Can’t quite bring myself to put it higher on the list, but make no mistake, it’s been one of my favorite recommendations of the year. Can’t help but love this backwoods, crazy-ass, only-in-America story, and I’d be awfully surprised if it didn’t win over the hatingest(?) of Jack Black haters out there.
32. Shut Up and Play the Hits
Rarely, rarely, does my hair stand up on end from watching a rockumentary (or any movie for that matter). Probably not that interesting if you’re not into LCD Soundsystem, but as someone who just happened to discover them right after their final show, it’s an awesome, revelatory, bittersweet goodbye for one of the best bands of the past decade.
31. The Imposter
WHAT a crazy story that only keeps getting crazier. Chomping at the bit to see if and how this thing ever fully plays out.
30. The Loved Ones (Full Review)
Horror premises don’t get much better, nor are they often executed this well. A great little cast, a great marriage of shock and humor, and damn if this thing won’t just pin you to your seat. Those Aussies, man…
29. Argo (Full Review)
Much like Lincoln, there wasn’t a thing about it I didn’t like, yet it just hasn’t stuck with me the way some other movies have this year. Okay, maybe it does get a bit too “Hollywood” towards the end, but that aside, it’s still home to one of the best casts, scripts, and stories of the year.
That Ben Affleck’s on a roll, yo.
28. Cloud Atlas (Full Review)
Successfully adapting this flat-out phenomenal novel to the big screen was as tall an order as any fan or film maker(s) could fathom. Though understandably muddling to some who went in blind, it was as timeless as its source material for a convert like myself.
27. The Grey (Full Review)
Remember when this turned out to be a surprisingly poignant meditation on the inevitability of death? Remember when we all thought it was gonna be Liam Neeson bare-knuckling wolves for two hours? That sure was an awfully pleasant surprise. Really digging Joe Carnahan these days.
26. Marley (Full Review)
Amazed it took this long for someone to make this movie; amazed at how little I knew about one of my all-time favorite musicians. Such an easy movie to get lost in, and good luck finding a better soundtrack.
25. The Invisible War (Full Review)
Required viewing. The most important movie I saw all year. Would be surprised if it didn’t walk away with Best Doc. That is all.
24. Killing Them Softly (Full Review)
Maybe the hardest movie on this list to recommend, but having known what to expect beforehand, boy, did I end up digging it. George V. Higgins would be proud.
23. Jiro Dreams of Sushi (Full Review)
A continually fascinating insight into a dying breed, and one that’s especially fascinating to us Westerners and our coddling ways. Not to mention it’ll have you booking it to the nearest sushi restaurant right after. Man, talk about work ethic.
22. Life of Pi (Full Review)
As a shamelessly big fan of the book who never expected it to be adapted to film (let alone ten years after everyone went ape over it), it’s still amazing to me how beautifully it all came together. One of the all-time great stories about storytelling, and one of the most visually breathtaking movies of the year.
21. The Avengers (Full Review)
Nitpick all you want, but just keep in mind how easily this sucker could have crashed and burned. The fact that it did anything but is just one of the many reasons why A) Joss Whedon is a god among nerds; and, B) it was some of the most fun I had at the movies all year.
I know, some seriously-effing-good movies didn’t make it into the Top 20 this year, but make no mistake, that’s more a testament to the quality of tomorrow’s offerings than a knock on what made it today. So with that being said, hope to see you around here mañana, gang. Big things in store.
The Best Movies of 2012: #60 – #41
Over halfway there, folks. Just gotta keep on truckin’. And for all you newcomers who accidentally found your way over here:
Day 1: #102 – #81
Day 2: #80 – #61
Alrighty then, onward!
60. God Bless America (Full Review)
Preachy to the point where it’s practically the cinematic version of a guy on the street corner waving a gun around screaming “THE END IS NIGH!” But by the same token, it’s about damn time someone made this movie. Just another reason to be on the Bobcat Goldthwait bandwagon these days.
59. Les Miserables
Saw it on Broadway, saw the Liam Neeson version, and this is the first time I’ve ever truly appreciated the extraordinary story that is Jean Valjean’s. Still, for everything there is to appreciate and admire, it never quite hit me on an emotional level and I just couldn’t get past the non-stop singing. Hate that I’m so hung up by such a subjective complaint, but alas, it just wasn’t my thing, folks.
58. Bad Ass (Full Review)
Okay, another admittedly ridiculous movie to edge out an Oscar contender, but what can I say, it’s my guilty pleasure of 2012. Blows my mind that this thing even got green lit, and just a total-effing-riot for anyone who’s ever been down with Epic Beard Man.
57. Sleepwalk with Me
Doesn’t quite measure up to the hilarity of Birbiglia’s standup specials, but damn if it didn’t just keep getting better and better.
56. Chico & Rita
A lovely little movie with a whole lot of life. Infectious soundtrack, too.
55. The Hole
Loses some of its magic by the end, and man, does it go heavy on the cheap scares, but it was a whole lot of fun regardless. A great gateway drug into the world of horror, and quite possibly the best movie Joe Dante’s ever made.
54. Head Games
I really need to thank my parents for never signing that Pop Warner permission slip. Pretty terrifying and royally informative for anyone who’s ever played contact sports, not to mention required viewing for parents and coaches alike.
53. Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry
Getting the impression that this was a favorite doc for many this year, and for good reason at that. Nothing like watching someone spend their life fighting the system, especially when that system is none other than freaking China. However, I can’t help but feel like the film makers jumped the gun on this one since Weiwei’s story seems to be far from over. Guess I’ll have to stay tuned.
52. The Snowtown Murders (Full Review)
One tough mother to swallow, but holy hell, does it get under your skin. Big ups to Daniel Henshall for one of the most memorable, straight-up evil performances in recent memory.
51. The Five-Year Engagement (Full Review)
Alright, maybe it ran a bit long, but this was one of the best date night movies that the missus and I saw all year, and it had the both of us laughing our asses off. Awfully eerie how much of it mirrored that of my own life last year, too.
50. Ballplayer: Pelotero
A surprisingly eye-opening and heartbreaking look into a corrupt side of a corrupt game. Killing me here, baseball.
49. The Raid: Redemption (Full Review)
It might as well be a live-action video game, and for that matter, it kicks a whole lot of ass. Didn’t do much for me beyond that, but man, does it kick ass.
48. The Day He Arrives
Refreshingly sincere and wonderful in its simplicity. The only movie this year that I really didn’t want to end.
47. Haywire (Full Review)
Stylish as all hell and as only Soderbergh could pull off. Will always have a soft spot for action movies that cut out the bullshit, especially in a world where so many film makers can’t stop dishing it out.
46. Safety Not Guaranteed
Still feel like the script could have given some plot lines more closure, but a small complaint in light of everything that’s so magnetic and likable about these characters and their missions. Yet another point for Mark Duplass on the board.
45. Last Days Here (Full Review)
More Intervention than Anvil!, but that’s exactly what sets it apart.
44. Michael (Full Review)
Chalk this one up as one of the hardest movies to recommend to anyone ever, but for those willing to give it the old college try, trust me, it’s a keeper. Helps to keep in mind how horribly wrong this could have gone under someone else’s direction.
43. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (Full Review)
Took a bit to start feeling like its source material, nor does it hold a candle to its source material, and I still wish Paul Rudd’s character played a bigger part. But once it hit its stride, I was hook, line, and sinker. The fact that it took all of ten seconds for Ezra Miller to make me forget he played Kevin is more than enough to warrant its spot on this list.
42. Jeff, Who Lives at Home (Full Review)
Hit home in a whole bunch of ways I really wasn’t expecting. The beginning of my year-long love affair with the brothers Duplass.
41. Something from Nothing: The Art of Rap (Full Review)
So much more insightful than I think anyone was expecting. Will give you a whole new respect for hip-hop and the originators who continue to make it what it is.
Apologies in advance to my lovely wife and everyone else who liked Les Mis exponentially more than I did, I hope we can move past this. Hopefully I can redeem myself with the next 20 tomorrow, so bear with me and stay tuned!
The Best Movies of 2012: #80 – #61
Alright, alright, alright. Now we’re getting somewhere, folks. As for Day 2’s selections, we’ve got some pretty good ones and a couple that I imagine might ruffle some feathers out there (not that that’s my intention here, folks). But before we get started, a heads up for anyone just joining:
And without further ado, the next 20…
80. Goon (Full Review)
It’s no Slap Shot, and I’m in the crowd that thinks Slap Shot‘s just alright. Still, points for heart and some chuckles throughout.
79. Sound of Noise
Major points for originality, but when your movie revolves around Stomp-like performances, you really gotta get your audio synched up with your instruments, son.
78. The Pirates! Band of Misfits (Full Review)
An underwhelming showing from the gang over at Aardman. Amusing for what it is, but hard not to compare it to what they’ve done in the past.
77. Friends with Kids (Full Review)
Sweet, but forgettable. That’s all I’ve got, folks.
76. The Turin Horse
Folks, I am a patient man, but staying awake during this thing proved to be a true test of willpower at times. That aside, appreciated it for what it is, and it’s got some striking cinematography to boot.
75. V/H/S
Lots of potential, mostly squandered. If only they had left the directing up to Ti West and Radio Silence…
74. Magic Mike
The novelty is there, and so is a great, natural rapport among the cast members. As a result, this thing was a freakin’ hoot for the first hour or so. But then the already-weak story gave way to non-stop stripping and partying, then I stopped caring about the predictable characters and their predictable problems, and by the last half hour, I was ready to move on with my life. Still, points to Soderbergh for making this work for as long as it did. And points to Tatum for reinventing himself like a boss last year.
73. The Hunter
Takes a bit to get into and there’s not much about it that stands out, but still wound up being a pretty compelling little murder mystery supported by some truly gorgeous scenery.
72. The Do-Deca-Pentathlon (Full Review)
Liked it when I saw it, and it’s only grown on me since. Us men and our competitions…
71. Zero Dark Thirty
Well made and it flew right by, but the more I think about it, the more I don’t care for it. Too cold and punishing for its own good, also can’t help but wonder about what to take at face value.
70. The Master (Full Review)
Can absolutely appreciate what so many people loved about this movie, and to tell you the truth, I would love to see Joaquin upset Daniel Day at the Oscars this year. With that being said, and with a much greater understanding of it to go off of, it just didn’t click with me, much in the way There Will Be Blood didn’t. And it’s not that I didn’t like it, and I’m not saying it’s a bad movie, there are just other P.T. Anderson efforts that have resonated with me far more than this did. Alright, I’m rambling now. Stepping off the witness stand…
69. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days (Full Review)
An admittedly semi-ridiculous movie to edge out The Master, but after a year spent watching grown-up movies with grown-ups, it sure was nice to lighten up for a change with something that made me feel like a kid again. Can’t think of another movie that my wife laughed harder at either.
68. 21 Jump Street (Full Review)
Better and funnier than I think anyone was expecting. And so began the rebirth of Channing Tatum…
67. Bully (Full Review)
Wish it had been more of a call to action than it ended up being, nor can say that it’s really lingered with me since. On the other hand, it is undeniably important and deserves to be seen if only out of respect for the interviewees and their families.
66. Chronicle (Full Review)
Someone out there owes me a royalty check, but plagiarism suspicions aside, it’s certainly one of the better things to come out of this found footage craze as of late.
65. The Hunger Games (Full Review)
Still think it’s better than the book, and seeing it on opening night in a theater crammed with teenage girls was one of the more hilarious moviegoing experiences I’ve had in recent memory.
64. Take This Waltz (Full Review)
Worth it for the final Act, and bonus points for the best use of “Video Killed the Radio Star” in any movie ever.
63. Oslo, August 31st
A little too long-winded for my taste, but a memorable and uncompromising story of addiction and recovery nonetheless.
62. Bullhead
As a character study, it’s interesting (dare I say fascinating); as a mob drama, not so much. However, serious bonus points are in order for one stellar performance from Matthias Schoenaerts.
61. Kill List (Full Review)
One strange, haunting movie that’s proven to be one hell of a discussion point. Also a clear winner for the single-most disturbing scene of 2012.
Alright, gang, just 60 more to go. Looking forward to these Zero Dark Thirty and The Master debates I’ve set myself up for, and make sure to check back tomorrow for the next 20. Word to your mother.
The Best Movies of 2012: #102 – 81
That’s right, boys and girls, after taking the month of January to play catch up, it’s that time of year again. And because watching 94 movies in 2011 just wasn’t unhealthy enough, I done went and outdid myself by watching a cool 102. Don’t ask how I manage to maintain a social life, don’t ask how I managed to get anything else done with my life these past 12 months, because your guess is as good as mine. Wish I’d had the time and willpower to give them all a proper review, but hey, there’s always next year.
Anyhow, what do you say we get things started off right by dredging through last year’s garbage as we make our way to the top? Sound good? Groovy…
102. The Divide (Full Review)
It was worse than a Tyler Perry movie. Need I say more?
101. Good Deeds (Full Review)
It’s a Tyler Perry movie. Need I say more?
100. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (Full Review)
If you haven’t seen it, just stick with the awesome trailer and walk the hell away. Lord, how I wish someone had given me that advice last year.
99. Compliance (Full Review)
Sorry, folks, but this one’s still torture porn to me.
98. American Reunion (Full Review)
Saddens me to see a franchise I grew up with get so needlessly and violently shat upon. None of the charm, none of the laughs, and none of the heart that made these movies so special to begin with. Then again, that’s coming from a guy who doesn’t have kids and didn’t go to his high school reunion.
97. The Vow (Full Review)
Not exactly the most relatable love story I’ve ever heard, and boy howdy, was it as annoying as it was predictable. Counting this as Channing Tatum’s mulligan for 2012.
96. Contraband (Full Review)
I wish I could remember what I did and didn’t like about this movie, but most everything seems to elude me…except for Giovanni Ribisi’s weird-ass nasally voice, that one’s still crystal. Oh, and wrapping duct tape around your head as a disguise. Brilliant!
95. Let the Bullets Fly (Full Review)
Another one that’s escaping me. Something about every punchline falling flat and some guy scooping a bowl of Jell-O out of stomach to prove a point. Good times.
94. The Woman in Black (Full Review)
An outrageously creepy trailer and some downright gorgeous visuals just weren’t enough to balance out these infuriatingly stupid characters. Good riddance, dummies.
93. The Dictator (Full Review)
Like I said, at least he got to dump ashes on Seacrest.
92. Wreck-It Ralph (Full Review)
Seriously, what the hell does Candyland have to do with video games? As a lifelong gamer who had awfully high hopes for this one, the fact remains that this was just some juvenile shit that did more harm than good in bringing some respect and appreciation to the world of video games.
Ugh, thank heavens for Paperman.
91. Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (Full Review)
Certainly helps being a Tim and Eric fan to begin with, but alas, sometimes TV just doesn’t translate to film. Although I am still giggling to myself over Eric getting a Prince Albert.
90. The Amazing Spider-Man (Full Review)
The single-most unnecessary movie of the year that did nothing to justify its own existence in this world. Did end up creating quite the dialogue though, and not to mention the best Honest Trailer of the year.
89. Prometheus (Full Review)
Nitpick away, this one warrants it. Admittedly gorgeous, and lord knows how boring this cast would have been without Fassbender, but as interested as I am to see where this story goes, it would have been so much better had it had nothing to do with Alien at all.
88. John Carter (Full Review)
Before I’d read the book, everything just felt overcomplicated, dumbed-down, and off. After I’d read the book, my suspicions were finally confirmed. But hey, at least I got a good read out of it.
87. Killer Joe (Full Review)
Really dug it until those last ten minutes.
86. Brave (Full Review)
Sure, it looks phenomenal, but I’m still just baffled by its childish sense of humor and muddled/backwards message, especially coming from Pixar of all studios. Whatever those guys are smoking right now, someone please cut them off and switch them back to their old brand.
85. Hyde Park on Hudson
Of all the stories to tell about FDR, they tell the one where he gets a handy from his cousin in the first ten minutes. All in all, just a mind-numbingly tedious biopic for such an extraordinary life. Seriously, the whole thing revolves around whether or not the King of England will eat a goddamn hot dog.
Serenity now…
84. Red Hook Summer
Loved the ending, just wish the rest of it had been more like Do the Right Thing and less like Crooklyn, I suppose.
83. Flight
Watch Denzel drink, watch Denzel get sober, watch Denzel fall off the wagon, watch Denzel get back on. I know I’m in the minority on this one, but the whole rinse, wash, repeat formula just drained me. Couldn’t stand any of the characters either. Also have to wonder about a script that vouches for the healing powers of cocaine. Yeah, just wasn’t a fan, gang.
82. Once Upon a Time in Anatolia
Also pretty sure I’m in the minority on this one, but I just didn’t get it. At least the last half-hour caught my interest, but the two hours before that? Not so much, unfortunately.
81. Alps
Stranger than strange despite a pretty intriguing premise.
Distinctly remember last year’s list having far worse offerings on Day 1, and to be fair, I should have known better with some of these. And on that note, it’s all uphill from here. So stay tuned for the next 20 tomorrow and have at it in the Comments section, folks.
And the best Christmas movie is still…
DIE HARD!
After falling off the face of the Earth for a good two months, I was hoping for a Christmas miracle upon my return. But alas, the masses have spoken, and their love for John McClane remains stronger than ever. What can I say, the proof is in the pudding.
Maybe next year, George Bailey. Maybe next year.
Swell voting, folks. This isn’t over…
RESULTS:
– Die Hard: 24 votes
– Home Alone: 20 votes
– It’s a Wonderful Life: 16 votes
– A Christmas Story: 16 votes
– Elf: 12 votes
– The Nightmare Before Christmas: 10 votes
– Christmas Vacation: 8 votes
– Love Actually: 7 votes
– The Muppet Christmas Carol: 6 votes
– How the Grinch Stole Christmas: 6 votes
– The Snowman: 5 votes (much love for The Snowman)
– Scrooged: 3 votes
– Miracle on 34th Street: 3 votes
– A Charlie Brown Christmas: 2 votes
– The Polar Express: 2 write-in votes
– Jingle All the Way: 1 vote (hell yes)
– Lethal Weapon: 1 write-in vote (is that a Christmas movie?)
– The Ring: 1 write-in vote (sorry, but that might be the worst Christmas tradition I’ve ever heard of)
– The Family Stone: 1 write-in vote
– Gremlins: 1 write-in vote
– A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas: 1 write-in vote
– Little Lord Fauntelroy: 1 write-in vote (is that a movie?)
Apologies once again for the extended absence, folks, but thanks once again for bearing with me. Things should be getting back to normal any minute now.
Best Movie Ever – Episode 7: The Trouble with Prequels
Apologies on top of apologies for the lack of activity around here, folks. Amazing how much free time you lose when you start a new job, huh? Add that to my first attempt at writing a book, and movie reviewing just doesn’t seem so imperative all of a sudden. With that being said, it shouldn’t be too long before I have my Best of 2012 list ready to roll and start reviewing new releases for the new year. So bear with me, gang, and thanks a mil for staying tuned. Alas, it’s just that time of year for me.
Until then, why not click that sweet banner up there and give a listen to the latest episode of Best Movie Ever? This week, Sean and I talk about our favorite movies that we own, the surprising disappeance of Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, and somehow decide on what the best prequel ever is. Hope you enjoy and catch you on the flip side!
And the best movie sports team IS…
THE TITANS!
I mean, how could we ever forget? And in case you’re wondering, yes, that is Ryan Gosling – the real reason we should remember that team.
Swell voting, folks. Wasn’t the most popular poll as of late, which is why I’m reviving an old favorite to see if that Die Hard win three years ago was a fluke. Still can’t believe it myself, so go ahead and have at it!
RESULTS
– The Titans: 4 votes
– 1980 US Hockey Team: 3 votes (an upset if there ever was one)
– Hickory High: 3 votes
– The Sandlot: 3 votes
– Mean Machine: 2 votes (guessing that remake didn’t help their chances)
– The “Bad News” Bears: 2 votes
– Cleveland Indians: 2 votes (yet they’re in the best baseball movie…)
– The Beers: 2 votes
– The Mighty Ducks: 1 vote
– The Big Green: 1 vote
– The Sentinels: 1 vote
– Permian High: 1 vote
– Marshall Thundering Herd: 1 vote
– Rockford Peaches: 1 vote
– Charlestown Chiefs: 0 votes (absolutely shocking)
– West Canaan High: 0 votes
– The Little Giants: 0 votes (why am I just now realizing how many sports movies Disney put out after The Mighty Ducks?)
– Miami Sharks: 0 votes
– “Gryffindor Quidditch Team”: 1 write-in vote (well played)
And in other news…
Just two weeks ago, I took a great new job at a great company after upwards of a year of being unemployed. Though it was in many ways a wonderful year that got the creative juices flowing, my priorities and routines have now changed for the better. With that being said, I wanted to give you all the heads up that things will be slowing down around these parts. Nothing’s gonna stop, the reviews’ll keep coming, but unless I see it in theaters or read the book first, chances are it ain’t getting a write-up…for now at least. Anyway, appreciate you all understanding and thanks a million, as per usual, for reading and commenting on this stuff in the first place. I’ll be around, hope you will, too.
Killing Them Softly (2012)
VERDICT:
9/10 Full Measures
Call me crazy, but it’s right up my alley.
Killing Them Softly is about some two-bit hoodlums who decide to knock off an illegal card game. Not a good idea to begin with, the kind of idea that would ordinarily put you in a body bag. But the thing about this particular card game is that, if all goes according to plan, the blame’ll get pinned on someone else and these guys’ll get away scot-free. With that all settled, they pull it off gorgeously, and just as predicted, their scapegoat takes the heat. But the fact remains that some bad guys got robbed, and now things ain’t exactly clockwork in the world of underground poker. So the bad guys send in one of their own to take care of the scapegoat, figure out what went down, and finally get things running again. Having been around the block and being damn good at his job, their guy gets down to business to start setting things right.
First things first, let’s address that Verdict. Word has it that I’m in the minority with this one, and the last thing I need is someone reaming me out for wasting their time and cash. I know the struggle, and I swear I have my reasons. Nonetheless, I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind here, especially if you’ve already seen it. Because as much as I liked it, it’s easy to see why so many didn’t.
Judging by the trailer, the poster, and the oh-so-subtle title change, I’m gonna guess that this wasn’t the movie that folks had in mind. Going out on a limb here, but I’m guessing the expectation was 97 minutes of Brad Pitt killing people (softly, of course) with that handy dandy shotgun of his. I’m also guessing these are the same folks who were mighty disappointed when they realized The American was just George Clooney building a gun for two hours. And that’s a completely understandable expectation given the way this movie’s been pitched. Hell, if I hadn’t known any better I would have been in the same boat, and probably just as pissed, too.
See, the reality of the situation is that Killing Them Softly is anything but the movie it’s being sold as. And as result, it’s become a victim of its own publicity. At its core, Killing Them Softly a talking heads movie with some violence on the side (all of which is shown in the trailer, all of which is over in a flash). Granted, that ain’t the easiest movie to sell, but selling instead as a rootin’ tootin’ killin’ spree was just a foolproof formula for disappointment.
But I think that’s the difference between me and a lot of the folks who went into this: Killing Them Softly is exactly what I expected.
A couple years back, I had the pleasure of being introduced to a movie called The Friends of Eddie Coyle. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a lot like Killing Them Softly. It’s a talking heads movie with some violence on the side where shady dudes do shady stuff in the back alleys and dive bars of Boston. When people get offed, it’s business as usual, and when the action gets going, it’s over before you know it. For chrissakes, it was my introduction to Robert Mitchum, and believe it or not, it was one of the coolest movies I’d ever seen. Still is, actually. The reason I mention all this is because it’s adapted from a novel by a guy named George V. Higgins. As much as I can accredit the cast and crew for everything I love about Eddie Coyle, it’s undeniable that Higgins is the reason its so goddamn special.
As it just so happens, Killing Them Softly is based on Higgin’s third novel, Cogan’s Trade (a far less misleading title). So, realizing the rarity of a Higgins adaptation, I started doing my homework. Crossed Cogan’s Trade off my reading list, and being semi-unfamiliar with writer/director Andrew Dominik, went and bumped The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford to the top my Netflix queue. Now, this is usually the part where I talk about how awesome the book was and what a tall order the movie had to fill, but for once, I’m toning it down. Not saying that it was a bad book, just takes some getting used to is all.
The best thing about Higgins is that the dude can write dialogue. His authentic tone of voice and knack for writing the way people talk is exactly what makes his stories so compelling. However, that’s just about all the dude writes. I kid you not, 95% of a Higgins novel is set inside quotation marks where characters go on chronic tangents, briefly mention something relevant to the plot, then go right back to rambling about godknowswhat until you’ve hit the back cover. It’s a lot like Pulp Fiction actually…if Jules and Vincent were the only characters…and all they talked about were royales with cheese…and there weren’t any Acts of God for them to deal with, just bullets in bodies galore. Probably not doing this movie any favors with that comparison, but then again, Pulp Fiction just wouldn’t be Pulp Fiction without “royale with cheese.”
As much as I love Higgins’ dialogue, it can be a chore to get through in print. But for some reason, it translates beautifully to film. Guess it’s one thing to read a conversation and another to actually hear it. Sure made it a lot funnier.
And from one scene to the next, the cast does a fantastic job of acting natural, talking like people, and creating these totally believable, totally unique bottom-dwellers in turn. The only one who seems out of place is Brad Pitt, if only because he’s just too damn pretty to be amongst rogues like these. Not his best performance, not his worst either, but the mullet only goes so far in convincing us he belongs here. But all in all, they bring the goods, and I just loved listening to ’em talk. Sure, they can be vulgar as sin, and James Gandolfini is way too long-winded for his own good, but it’s been a long time I’ve seen dialogue get written or delivered like this.
Still, solid as they may be, Andrew Dominik’s the reason this movie works like it’s supposed to.
It’s clear that he’s seen Eddie Coyle, it’s clear that he’s read Cogan’s Trade, and it’s clear that he’s a fan of both. I mean, there are a lot of ways that this story could have been told, ways that could have been far more popular with the viewing public. But rather than compromise, he plays to Higgins’ strengths. He doesn’t sugarcoat the violence, he keeps the story straightforward, and doesn’t overcomplicated things by taking the focus away from the characters. The only liberties he does take includes moving the setting out of Boston, getting a little too stylish for his own good, and fostering this notion of two Americas that’s completely exclusive to his script. Hard to explain that last bit without seeing it play out for yourself, but while it felt a bid odd initially, it ultimately makes for a pretty provoking juxtaposition between the country we pledge to and the country we live in.
Because of Dominik, not only does this movie look exactly the way it should (and at times better than it should), but it’s a movie that would make Higgins proud. And as a fan of Higgins, what more could you ask for?
At any rate, Killing Them Softly ain’t for everyone, and I quickly came to terms with the fact that defending that Verdict would be an uphill battle. And that’s fine, as there are a slew of reasons why some won’t like this, not even in the slightest. It’s not a happy story, these aren’t happy people, and by the time it’s all over, you might just wonder why you bothered. But for everything that’s so grim and daunting about it, the truth is that no one’s made a movie like this since 1973. Can’t speak for anyone else on the matter, but that’s just unacceptable.
Folks, Killing Them Softly is just my kind of movie, much like The Friends of Eddie Coyle is my kind of movie. It’s cool without trying, it’s refreshingly uncompromising, and it’s flat-out genuine whether you like it or not. And it helps to know that going in, and it helps to have that expection, because at the end of the day, expectations are what’ll make or break this. Not an easy recommendation, but if you’re at all interested, watch Eddie Coyle and go from there. Much easier recommendation.
BEST MOVIE EVER – Episode 6: A Very New Haven Thanksgiving
That’s right, folks! Just when you thought it was finally over, we’re returning in style with our very first live episode! Lots of laughs, lots of yuletide joy – you’re gonna love it. So go ahead and click on that banner to hear seven knuckleheads run down the best holiday movies ever. Enjoy!
Cut The Crap Movie Reviews 