Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
VERDICT:
8/10 Typical Weekends for Aiden R.
It’s Back to the Future for grown-ups. Awesome.
Hot Tub Time Machine is about four estranged friends – whose lives all pretty much blow – that decide to spend a weekend back at a ski resort where they once had a kickass weekend back 1986 in the hopes to cheer up their potentially suicidal friend. So they get there, it turns out the town has gone to hell, they say, “Screw it anyway!” and get hammered in their hot tub which, to their surprise, doubles as a time machine that sends them back to that kickass weekend back in ’86.
And that right there is why this movie rocks. It’s not breaking new ground, it’s not the smartest comedy out there and it’s not taking itself seriously, but it plays into something we’ve all fantasized about at one time or another – what it’d be like if you had an effing time machine at your disposal and got to re-live a pivotal moment in your life so that you could pull a total Marty McFly on fate’s ass.
As if the title wasn’t enough to convince me I was gonna like this.
The other great thing about this premise is that it completely avoids getting caught up in the total mindfuck that so often goes along with time travel. It’s also nice that I couldn’t find any plot holes in this regard, but at the same time, what the hell’s the point? It’s called Hot Tub Time Machine, the last thing you need to give a rat’s ass about is if it all makes sense. That kinda nitpicky shit drives me up the wall.
With that being said, it doesn’t take long to realize that this is just a great excuse to make fun of the ’80s and watch these guys try to make things right again while in a constant haze of drugs, sex, booze and Poison, and I don’t know about you, but that is fine by me. A lot of the humor is pretty irreverent and random and that might not be up everyone’s alley, but I’m of the mindset that comedy today is seriously lacking in the irreverent randomness department, so this was a pretty welcome surprise.
And far as the cast is concerned, it’s actually kinda fifty-fifty.
John Cusack is John Cusack and it’s not that he’s a buzzkill or anything, it’s just that he’s kinda the odd man out and his storyline’s too damn dramatic for its own good. Clark Duke is also okay, but he gets overshadowed big time.
But Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry especially are hilarious. Glad to see Robinson making a name for himself ’cause he’s always been funny as hell on The Office, but I was not expecting Corddry. Never found the guy all that funny on The Daily Show, but he runs away with it here and brought this sucker up from a 7 in a big way.
Yet the strangest thing about this movie was that the funniest member of the whole damn bunch is Crispin Glover of all people. Yeah, Crispin Glover, the guy who nearly kicked David Letterman in the head with his enormous platform shoes. He’s only got this bizarre bit role as a disgruntled bellhop and he’s a total effing nut, but he was the one thing I’m still giggling to myself about after leaving the theater and he’s got the best running gag of the whole movie.
I’m actually pretty surprised at how much I fun I had with this one. The last time I laughed so hard and consistently at a movie was Zombieland last year, and while it’s not quite up to that standard of awesomeness, Hot Tub Time Machine was still a freakin’ riot. Might be a little on the gross side at times and it drags a bit during Cusack’s scenes, but small complaints for a movie that had me cracking up straight on through to the end. I’d be more than happy to see this one again and I’d be even happier to get it on DVD with a thirty to split with friends.
Just one more reason why hot tubs are the bomb.
And the best Reservoir Dog is…
MR. PINK!
Looks like we got some non-tippers in the crowd.
I’ve always been under the impression that people liked Pink because he’s got the best name, but then again, we’re talking Steve Buscemi here and Steve Buscemi is very much the man. Making pink into a badass color ain’t easy.
RESULTS:
– Mr. Blonde: 11 votes
– Mr. White: 7 votes (the under-appreciated Reservoir Dog, but such is often the case with Harvey)
– Mr. Orange: 4 votes
– Mr. Pink: 18 votes
– Mr. Brown: 0 votes (ouch)
– Mr. Magoo: 2 votes (that coldblooded bastard…)
All I’m saying is that “Mr. Blonde” is a way cooler Halo handle than “Mr. Pink”. But that’s just me.
God, what a nerd…
Greenberg (2010)
VERDICT:
3/10 Grumpy Bastards
About as fun as being forced to spend two hours with someone I wouldn’t want to spend two seconds with.
Greenberg is about a guy who goes to housesit at his brother’s Hollywood home for eight weeks right after having a nervous breakdown and bouncing from a mental hospital. While there he tries to reconnect with his old friends, writes a lot of letters to bigwigs telling them how much he thinks they suck, and actively does nothing with his life while striking up a terribly strange liking to his brother’s assistant who’s also helping out around the house.
It’s the third movie by writer/director Noah Baumbach and after digging his debut effort The Squid and the Whale quite a bit way back when and thinking the trailer here was pretty swell, I had relatively high hopes for Greenberg. In retrospect, I think I was just jaded by the awesome LCD Soundsystem song that played over it.
See, here’s the thing about our guy Roger Greenberg – Roger Greenberg is a fucking douche.
With the exception of slow-walkers and those jerks on the subway who think their headphones double as a ghetto blaster, there aren’t a whole lot of people out there in the world that I simply can’t freakin’ stand. Unfortunately, Greenberg is one of these people.
He’s a perpetual whiner, the proud curmudgeon, the rare individual who doesn’t have an off-switch and always, always has something to bitch about regardless of how it might affect others. In a nutshell, Greenberg is the worst and how this guy even has friends to reconnect with or a girl to find him the least bit interesting is beyond me.
Now, maybe I’m too young to really get Greenberg, maybe I need to watch this again when I get my mid-life crisis, maybe I should learn to not complain about shit day-in and day-out, but right now, I don’t see the draw. And even though he was miscast in the part to begin with, it’s not Ben Stiller’s fault either. My good buddy Fred said it best when he turned to me mid-movie and said, “I don’t know if we’re supposed to find him endearing or something, because he is just horrible.”
And that’s the real problem with Greenberg – he’s just a horrible person to focus a movie on. Doesn’t help either that he only starts to realize this by the last ten minutes and by that time I could have cared less about his epiphany.
On the other hand, everyone else is A-okay. Greta Gerwig is the most interesting character of the bunch as Greenberg’s romantic interest and her performance more or less carries the movie, and Rhys Ifans is also pretty good as Greenberg’s “best friend”, Ivan. But like I said, Stiller wasn’t the guy to play Greenberg and every time he tried to get really serious, it just felt like Zoolander throwing a temper tantrum. It’s not that he’s bad, it just didn’t seem like a right fit.
It’s not often I come across a movie protagonist that I find myself completely loathing like I did Greenberg and I was kind of in disbelief at how much I’ve found myself ripping him a new one in this review, but what can I say, the dude sucked. He’s not the villain, he’s not the anti-hero, he’s just an asshole that deserves a swift kick in the balls and made my blood boil with each new scene.
With the right frame of mind and the right amount of cynicism towards the world and everything in it, you might just find yourself totally digging Greenberg, but since I’m clearly not part of the choir on this one, I’m gonna keep movin’ on. Just a strange script with really odd relationships, a crap sense of humor that I didn’t get a single laugh out of, wildly unrealistic and bizarre situations that lead to some incredibly awkward sex scenes and a crap main character to round it all out. Luckily there’s some good acting thrown in there, but, boy howdy, what a douche.
At least we got a new “Between Two Ferns” out of it.
Wedding Crashers (2005)
VERDICT:
7/10 Crabcakes and Footballs
Why can’t Vince Vaughn go back to doing movies like this? Fred Claus, man. Fred-effing-Claus…
Wedding Crashers is about two best friends who go to weddings they’re not invited to and become the life of the party so they can hook up with countless bridesmaids that are tripping balls on the fumes of love. Then at one fateful wedding, one of these smooth operators breaks a cardinal rule of crashing and falls for the bridesmaid who’s already in a relationship with a total douche. Reluctant as he is, the love-struck crasher’s best friend plays the wingman and tags along for a getaway to the bridesmaid’s Summer house with the rest of her crazy-ass family so that these two crazy kids can fall in love.
And why does he go along with it? Because that’s what a good wingman does.
That’s what Goose would have done.
I don’t know if I’m the only one, but whenever this movie comes up I always find myself comparing it to The 40-Year-Old Virgin. It’s probably a stupid connection to make considering they have nothing in common outside of being the two big comedies that came out in the Summer of ’05, but such is life and even though my vote still goes for Virgin, Wedding Crashers certainly has its moments.
It’s essentially broken up into the three parts – the hour where they’re at the Summer home and the two half-hours before and after where they’re not. With the exception of a cameo by Will Ferrell in the final half-hour that’s either hilarious or unnecessary or both (I’m leaning towards option “C” on this one), the rest of the humor in the movie doesn’t quite measure up to all the hilarious shit that goes down in that second Act. Spends too much time trying to be serious and lovey-dovey. It sickens me.
On second thought, Wedding Crashers does have one more thing in common with 40-Year-Old-Virgin – ad-libbing. There’s a lot of funny stuff that happens from Todd calling death his “bitch lover” and his father’s awkward enthusiasm that follows to the whole quail hunting scene, but the thing that elevates the script from just having a good sense of humor pretty much boils down to one thing: Vince Vaughn.
I don’t think it’s at the same level as his debut in Swingers, but good lord, this thing sure put him on the map in a big way. I’m not even sure the guy was given a script because the whole movie is just him pulling shit out of thin air and rambling away like some crackhead comedian with a Red Bull drip stuck in his vein, but who the hell cares, he’s a freakin’ riot. It’d still be a funny movie without him, but Vince makes it stand out. Too bad he’s done nothing but crap since.
Owen Wilson’s not bad either, but he’s pretty much Owen Wilson playing Owen Wilson. Bradley Cooper’s also a great scumbag as Wilson’s romantic competition, Sack (great name), and I don’t know how Isla Fisher doesn’t get more roles because she was damn funny as Vince Vaughn’s psycho “girlfriend”, Gloria. That scene where she plugs up her ears and starts stomping the ground so her father will let Vince stay at the Summer house is too good.
Oh, and Christopher Walken plays the father. Like I even need to mention how awesome he is.
But like I said, when I think about Wedding Crashers, I think about the Summer house, everything just kinda makes me chuckle. Even though it’s not consistently funny straight through and even though it didn’t nab the Best Comedy of ’05 award, I still find myself stopping at this movie almost every time while channel surfing, and this movie is on TV a lot.
All about people helping people.
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion (1997)
VERDICT:
6/10 Valley Girl Vindications
Cute fun. That about does it.
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion is about two ditsy best friends living in L.A. with no boyfriends or husbands and a jones for fashion that isn’t doing a whole lot of favors for their career aspirations, but they don’t mind none, who needs a career when you’ve got your best friend by your side? Right? So right. Then one day they get an invite to their 10-year High School reunion (oh, word?), so they book it on down to their old stomping grounds in Arizona to see how everyone’s changed and hopefully impress the pants off them.
Something tells me I didn’t even need to write that synopsis, but just in case the poster didn’t give it away in a split nanosecond, there ya go. So, yeah, not the deepest movie out there and the story line isn’t gonna throw you any curveballs, but at the same time, this is one of those movies that knows its limits and plays to its strengths accordingly. Last thing this movie needs is to be reaching for an Oscar.
Now, I’ve only been around long enough to get invited to my five-year reunion – which I missed to go see a Cold War Kids concert – so I’m thinking that for those of you out there who’ve already reached the 10-year milestone or are coming up on it, this might have more of a draw to it than it did for me. But then again, we’ve all been to High School, we all know what clique we belonged to, we’ve all seen The Breakfast Club, and in that regard this movie is pretty universal.
Hate it or love it, High School’s a hard four years to forget.
Lisa Kudrow is more or less Phoebe all over again as Michele, but that’s cool, she was the funniest gal Friends had going for it. But the real surprise was Mira Sorvino turning in the more memorable performance of the two as Romy, who’s essentially a hotter version of Michele, only she has the voice of Ted Theodore Logan. They’re a fun pair to watch and also pretty relatable as High Schoolers, at least for all us wallflowers out there.
Also has Alan Cumming and Janeane Garofalo in it and they’re both quite amusing as the nerds-turned-success stories of the bunch.
The writing’s not so bad either and it can be pretty funny, but it does feature the longest dream sequence I’ve ever seen in a movie and that was a pretty bizarre move. I guess there’s only so many ways you can draw out a premise like this for an hour and a half and it is fun to watch these two fantasize about how they’re gonna show up their former peers, but dream sequences generally lead to eye rolls and, unfortunately, such is the case here by the time Michele finally wakes the hell up. Well, at least the whole damn movie wasn’t a dream.
Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion is just a sweet movie with a fun imagination and a good sense of humor. Simple idea, nothing too fancy and pretty well-executed, can’t say I didn’t enjoy myself. Good stuff.
And honestly, who isn’t interested to see how everyone in High School turns out ten years down the road?
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
VERDICT:
10/10 Communication Breakdowns
My number one favorite movie of all-time, boss.
Cool Hand Luke is about a guy who finds himself thrown into a Southern chain gang for two years after lopping the heads off parking meters during a drunken bender. Before long, he settles into his new life and gives his fellow prisoners a whole new lease on life by stickin’ it to the man and just being his cool old self. Naturally, the man doesn’t take all too well to this kind of behavior, but then again, they’ve never really had anyone like Luke on their hands before.
So, yeah, favorite movie of all-time. Big statement, I know, but after watching it again last night for the first time in a while, it happens to be a surprisingly easy statement to stick by.
There’s a lot of reasons why I dig this movie over every other movie I’ve ever seen, but one of the biggest is that this is one of those movies that you can’t find any more, one of those movies that’s badass without even trying. Nowadays, filmmakers and screenwriters have this idea that the foolproof way to make someone into a hardcore mother effer is to give him a big ol’ gun, make him swear really loud, really often and have him whoop some ass while dishing out catchphrases. And then you have Paul Newman as Luke, a guy who does none of these things and yet lives up to his “Cool Hand” title like it was written on his birth certificate.
Now, maybe his inclusion on the banner up there isn’t enough to drive it home, but Paul Newman truly was one of the greats both on and off the camera, and if I wasn’t such a huge Clint Eastwood fan, Paul would be easily have my vote as Best Actor Ever. With that out of the way, his turn as Luke is one of those rare situations where the stars aligned and the perfect actor was cast in the perfect role. You watch Paul and you believe he’s Luke, like there’s not even a script to read off of. That right there is something special, folks, and I can’t think of too many instances where I’ve seen someone act so natural in a movie.
No idea how he didn’t nab the Oscar for this, but hey, at least George Kennedy did as Luke’s right-hand-man, Dragline. Also features some bonus appearances by a young Dennis Hopper and Harry Dean Stanton, but Kennedy really was great and for a guy who seemed to be in absolutely everything back in the day, it’s nice that he got recognized. That guy had some Southern drawl.
But aside from Newman, Luke is just something else in his own right. Like any true badass, he lets his actions do the talking, doesn’t give up no matter how high the odds are stacked against him and doesn’t bother himself with the trivial things in life that everyone else seems to be so hung up on, like being in a damn chain gang. He’s a hero (or antihero for all you law-abidin’ folks out there) you can’t help but root for right off the bat and he’ll make a lasting impression on you in the same way he does everyone else he meets.
And the writing here is out of sight. The dialogue is quotable beyond belief, a script that makes you wish like hell that you could talk as smooth as these convicts do, and it’s got a lot of profound and genuine things to say about living life at all times. Who knew that a scene about watching a guy eat 50 eggs could be so magical.
Folks, I just love this movie, no complaints. If you’ve never seen it and if you liked Shawshank and/or O Brother, Where Art Thou?, hop on that Netflix queue and get to streamin’. Cool Hand Luke is about getting dealt nothing but crap in life and turning it into solid gold, about grabbing a hold of life even when it seems like there’s nothing there to grapple, it’s about being a natural born world-shaker. Every time I see this it hits me right in the gut, gets me grinning from ear to ear and makes me long for the days when movies didn’t try so hard to be cool because they just were. Yup, this is the one to beat.
Great, great music, too. Just one more reason I need to pick up the banjo.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
VERDICT:
5/10 Cheeky Spaniards
Eh, Woody’s been better. I miss Match Point.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona is about two best friends – one’s single and adventurous, the other’s engaged and traditional, you know the drill – who ship off to Barcelona for the Summer to sightsee and quickly find themselves being wooed by a Spanish painter who’s got more game than he knows what to do with and an ex-wife who’s off the freakin’ wall. So Vicky Cristina start hanging out more and more with this smooth mother effer, they find themselves discovering feelings and emotions they never knew were there, and then his ex-wife comes back into the picture and things get turned up to 11.
So, this here is the latest ditty by Woody Allen and say what you will about his jones for the occasional stepdaughter, when it comes to movies, the guy is no joke. It actually wasn’t until five seconds ago when I checked out his IMDB profile that I realized he’s been putting a movie out every. single. year. since ’82, sometimes even two a year and with the exception of a couple hiccups here and there in the ’70s where he made one every other year, that’s been Woody’s m.o. for since he started over four decades ago.
Like I said, no joke.
Now, it’d be one thing if all those movies sucked, but such is not the case with Woody. He’s managed to raise the bar pretty high for himself over the years, which has kinda become a double-edged sword in its own little way, but every once in a while he’ll come around and wow me with something totally different and totally awesome (again, Match Point) that renews my faith in the guy.
Unfortunately, this is not one of those instances.
The first warning sign in VCB was the surprising presence of one my biggest complaints about movies in general – the omniscient narrator. Not to reignite the flames of a losing battle I already started in my Little Children review, but in the interest of keeping it brief and not getting reamed by dear, dear readers, the omniscient narrator here is still redundant, still annoying and isn’t any better than every O.N. before it. Didn’t notice it as much towards the end, but nonetheless, my good buddy Fred and I were rolling our eyes like gangbusters.
The other big problem with this movie is that it’s just boring as sin. I didn’t feel like it had anything new to say, the main characters aren’t interesting enough for me to really care about them and it takes way too long for the ex-wife to show up. Granted, things do pick up quite a bit once this happens, but I still never felt invested in this movie, more like I was just passing through, ogling at the pretty architecture.
Then again, this movie does have two big things going for it:
1. The acting’s good. Naturally, Javier Bardem is the man and I’ll admit that he’s one good lookin’ fella without that mop top going on, and Penelope Cruz continues to impress as one of the best actresses out there. Still think Viola Davis deserved the Oscar that year for Doubt, but either way, good stuff from Penelope. Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall are also fine as Cristina and Vicky, but they kinda get overshadowed.
And, 2. It’s a beautiful love letter to Barcelona. Man, talk about a gorgeous city, only been there once before myself and if you’ve never been, this movie will make you want to. Ugh, I need a vacation.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona‘s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just there like a pretty postcard on a fridge. One of those movies that makes an hour feel like two and even though it provides glimpses into something promising and gets pretty steamy while doing it, it’s ultimately predictable and I can’t say I was bummed to see the end credits roll around.
Well, it’s a new year, Woody. Maybe next time.
And the best entry in the Godfather series is…
THE GODFATHER!
Damn right it is!
Been meaning to do a write-up on Part II for a while now, and this might just be the week to do it.
Good voting, folks, and if you still haven’t seen ’em, what in sam hell is taking you?
RESULTS:
– Part I: 17 votes
– Part II: 11 votes
– Part III: 1 vote (talk about unnecessary)
– Haven’t seen ’em: 8 votes (for shame…)
Looks like yet another marathon is in order. Too many darn marathons on my plate…
A Serious Man (2009)
VERDICT:
7/10 Pushovers
Not quite the story of my life, but it’s hard to go wrong with the Coens.
A Serious Man is about a Jewish guy in the late ’60s who just can’t catch a break. His wife is leaving him for reasons neither of them can understand, one of his students is trying to bribe him because he won’t give the kid a passing grade, his brother with a gambling problem and a massive sist won’t move out or get a job and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
It all really boils down to watching this guy trying to hold it all together while getting shit on from every direction and, despite his best efforts, receive zero help from everyone around him. No, it’s not much of a pick-me-upper, but thankfully this thing is directed by the Coen brothers instead of, say, Darren Aronofsky (even though Darren Aronofsky’s the man).
Look, I don’t really need to say a whole lot about the Coen brothers because everyone should probably have realized at this point in the history of the world that these cats know what the hell they’re doing. They’re pros, they don’t fuck around, and even when they do fuck around, they do it like pros. Not sure that statement makes perfect sense, but just go with me on this one.
Aside from being total perfectionists, one of the many things that makes the Coen brothers’ movies stand out is their dead-on comedic timing, their sandpaper-with-a-mean-case-of-eczema dry, deadpan sense of humor and the way they make an audience laugh at things that might otherwise compel theaters to start handing out packs of Prozac at the door. There’s a lot of that here and that, folks, is a very good thing. Yeah, A Serious Man is a Debbie Downer, but as much as you feel bad at the guy, it’s hard not to get a kick at how absurd his whole damn life is. Almost gets Seinfeld-ian at times.
So, the writing and technical aspects are solid as usual, but I’ve also yet to see a Coen brothers production where the cast sucks. Pretty sure these guys could make a movie about Nic Cage, Rob Pattinson and Steven Seagal quoting lines from Sex and the City for two hours and the thing would still hit all the right notes, but let’s all continue to hope that theory never gets put to the test.
With that being said, I thought Michael Stuhlbarg (who I never knew existed before this seeing this movie) was really good as our “serious” man, Larry Gopnik. Well, everyone’s good in their respective roles here, but I feel like his performance got kinda overshadowed this year for some reason or other and that right there is a bummer. Granted, Colin Firth and Jeff Bridges did kick ass this year, but props to the dude for getting right into the role and I’m looking forward to seeing more of him.
And if that wasn’t enough, the Coens threw in some pretty choice ’60s tunes in here for good measure, one of which plays a very entertaining role towards the end of the movie and might just be my favorite scene of the whole thing.
So, yeah, I liked A Serious Man, it’s good stuff on a lot of levels, but I think the thing that’s holding it back for me was that I can’t exactly relate to it. It’s not so much that I’m not Jewish and as a result can’t identify with growing up in a Jewish household, it’s more that there was a generational and cultural gap going between my own upbringing as an ’80s baby and not being able to see myself or my own family in that of the Gopnicks. My stepdad on the other hand totally identified with this movie and gained a much greater appreciation for it than I did, and even though it would have been nice to have that connection myself and even though there’s not a whole lot I can do about it without getting a DeLorean, a flux capacitor and a life-altering religious epiphany, there’s still a lot to enjoy.
Not their best movie by any means, the story’s fine, it kinda drags on after a while and the ending is…something else, but hey, it’s the Coen brothers.
Total pros.
Bronson (2008)
VERDICT:
8/10 Temper Tantrums
Bare-knuckle brawling with mentally unstable and physically jacked sociopaths? Sounds like a date!
Bronson is the story of one Michael Gordon Peterson, or as he prefers to be called, Charlie Bronson – no relation to the badass from Death Wish, it’s just the most hardcore “fighting name” his future boxing promoter could come up with – whose life goal ever since he was a wee ass-kicker was to become famous. So at the age of 22, Bronson decides to stick up a bank and, guess what, our guy gets locked up for seven years. Turns out, Bronson loves prison, he considers it his calling in life and he decides to stick around for an extra 27 (spending 30 out of the 34 years in solitary) on his quest to become England’s most dangerous prisoner.
And that’s about the long and short of it. What a guy.
I’m pretty sure this isn’t a verbatim account of his days in the big house, but for the most part this is a true story and Charlie Bronson is a real dude who’s still in prison punching the living daylights out of folks and doing his best not to drop the soap (not that he probably has anything to worry about in that department).
Now, I don’t know how many of you folks out there have seen the movie Chopper (if you haven’t, check it out, it’s the best thing Eric Bana’s ever done), but this is pretty much the exact same story, only with Brits instead of Aussies. It’s a one-man show featuring one mean – yet totally entertaining – mother effer raising hell from start to finish as he goes from prison to prison to prison to mental ward to freedom and then back to prison all because he can and director Nicolas Winding Refn does a bangup job of bringing his story to the screen just like that.
There’s no heroes in this movie, there’s just Bronson, and make no mistake, Bronson is the villain. Then again, villains are pretty damn fun to watch.
And being that it’s all about this one guy, a lot of the credit for why this movie works as well as it does goes to lead actor Tom Hardy. First off, this is what Hardy looked like back in ’02 for his role in Star Trek: Nemesis. The leather jumpsuit and goth makeup don’t help matters much, but the point is that he looks like a bitch. Dude wouldn’t last an hour upstate. But six years later and an ungodly amount of one-on-one time with a Shake Weight and a NordicTrack, this is what Hardy looks like as Charlie Bronson.
Definitely not a bitch. Homeboy jumped on the Christian Bale diet.
But despite how insane the total body morph is, it’s not what makes Hardy stand out, it’s that this kid freakin’ hurls himself into every inch of the role. He’s this wild concoction of an old-timey Queensbury Rules boxer mixed with Tyler Durden mixed with Big Chris, and good lord does he soak up the spotlight. Hardy bares all for this role in more ways than one and without him this thing would have been pretty damn dull. Hard to take your eyes off the guy even if to just watch him walk around like the Terminator going for an evening tea. Hope he at least got some kind of Best Up-And-Comer Award for this.
The only downtime in this movie is the brief stint in Bronson’s life where he actually finds himself free from prison for a couple months. The problem is that the moment he leaves, all I wanted was for him to go back to prison because that’s where he’s in his element, him being so “pro-prison” is a big reason why he’s so intriguing and that’s the one place where he totally lets loose. Thankfully, he comes to this same realization and ends up back in the slammer right quick, so things back on track fast enough.
Can also be a bit hard to catch what everyone’s actually saying at times thanks to the thick cockney accents, but whatever, easy to overlook. Swearing is a universal language.
Man, Bronson’s just a wild dude and Bronson‘s just a wild movie. While it touches on some Clockwork Orange themes like the cost and value of free will, this is pretty much an 90-minute character study of one out there fellow who made a satisfied life of constant, vicious nonconformity with a shit-eating grin on his face the whole damn time. It’s bloody, it’s in-your-face and it’s one of the more unusual biopics I’ve come across in recent memory, but it sure is a time.
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