Easy A (2010)
VERDICT:
8/10 Faux Floozies
Well isn’t this the nicest little surprise of the year.
Easy A is about a straight-laced High School teen who lies to her nagging friend about how she lost her V-card over the weekend, is overheard by the head of the school’s God Squad, and before she knows it, the rumors snowball and her gossipy peers quickly peg her as the resident skank. Rather than deny it to the teeth, she takes her new found bad girl rep and runs with it by letting the most desperate of social outcasts shower her with gift cards in return for sexual bragging rights and subsequent popularity despite their virginity remaining intact. As one can imagine, this poorly thought-out plan soon starts to backfire and our girl finds herself scrambling to clear her good name and undo the damage that tends to come with pretending you’re all loosie goosie and such.
So it’s a modern-day re-telling of sorts of The Scarlet Letter – aka: that effing book that everyone had to read in High School and in turn introduced us to the wonders of Cliffs Notes after coming to the realization that we just read the same paragraph thirty times before we could even hit chapter two (or maybe that was just me). Yeah, not the biggest fan of that puppy and it wasn’t until I could no longer ignore the tidal wave of praise this got around the blogosphere that I stopped writing it off as this year’s mandatory girlie tween comedy. And if that 8 up there hasn’t given it away yet, this is exactly why it pays to see movies despite your preconceptions.
It’s the debut directorial effort by one Will Gluck, it’s the debut script by writer Bert V. Royal, and I don’t know where the hell these guys came from, but The Scarlet Letter has never been this entertaining. Well, Gluck actually does a fine job behind the camera and I dug the moments where he’d zoom around the High School campus (which looks to be roughly the size of Utah) from clique to clique whenever a new rumor started to spread, but Royal’s the one worth writing to grandma about. Folks, this script is right up there with Mean Girls when it comes to the best-written teen comedies of the past decade. Yeah, a lot of this would probably never happen in real life, but you go with it because it’s so damn funny, because it’s working in the vein of movies like Say Anything and Sixteen Candles, and it lets the cast have a freakin’ ball with their lines.
I just love how self-aware, contemporary and true-to-life it is. Whether it’s a teacher going off on how he doesn’t understand why someone would post a status update on Facebook about how they raised the roof after buying a Coke Zero at a gas station, or even our girl telling us to watch the original black-and-white version of The Scarlet Letter instead of the Demi Moore-nude-in-a-bathtub remake if we’re not gonna read the book, all of it’s hilarious and it’s got a nice little (if obvious) moral to boot. It’s still a far cry from my days in High School, but
And, yeah, the cast rocks.
Thomas Haden Church is great as that teacher who can’t wrap his head around status updates (why isn’t he in more stuff?); Lisa Kudrow ain’t bad in her unusually bitchy role as the school guidance counselor; a pre-retirement Amanda Bynes is good as the said God Squader who triggers all this drama to begin with; Fred Armisen is a priest; and there’s a handful of other kids who I think I recognize from the CW or Twilight or some shit who are all pretty good, too. I gotta say though, Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson nearly steal the show as the nicest and funniest parents on the planet. God, what can’t Stanley Tucci do? He’s always been out of sight as a serious actor, but the guy had me flat-out howling with choice lines about making sure to check “Watching The Bucket List” off his Bucket List during family movie night along with asking his adopted black son, “So where are you from originally?” Pretty atypical roles for these two, but they are somehow perfect.
But this right here is Emma Stone’s show in a big ol’ way. Only know her from Superbad and Zombieland, but those were awesome, she was darn solid in both of ’em, and she’s even more awesome as our 21st Century Hester Prynne, Olive. From the moment we watch her spend an entire weekend slowly obsessing over Natasha Bedingfield’s “Pocket Full of Sunshine” while painting her dog’s toenails and giving herself a mohawk in the shower, you can’t help but love the gal. Stone just does a stellar job of making Olive feel like a real teenage girl with a great sense of humor, a brain and a heart. Olive’s a blast to hang out with and it’s ’cause of Stone that she ends up being one of the most memorable female performances of the year.
Girl, you earned that spot as Gwen Stacy.
The only bummer here is that there are so many characters going on at once that they tend to show up for five minutes, play an integral part to the story, then disappear indefinitely, only reappearing for some choice silent cameos that usually involve sulking or squinting angrily. They all serve their purpose and there’s not a character of the bunch that isn’t fun to watch, but it would have been nice if it didn’t jump around so much and just gave us more Church, Tucci and Stone instead.
And Kudrow’s character is totally absurd. I’m sure there are some shitty counselors out there, but I think you’d be hard-pressed to find one whose idea of “guidance” boils down to throwing a handful of condoms at a student and telling them to skedaddle. What a bitch, Phoebe would never pull that crap.
Judging by the impression I got from all the ho-hum trailers that ran for this over the Summer, I never thought I’d be writing about how Easy A is actually kind of great, but it absolutely is and it’s one of the most enjoyable movies I’ve sat through in quite a while. Can’t wait to see more from everyone involved in this movie, it had me smiling and laughing like crazy the whole damn time, and if more teen comedies were this good, I’d gladly spend the money to support ’em.
John Hughes would be proud.
True Grit (2010)
VERDICT:
7/10 Dead-Eye Dudes
Better than the original, but still awfully familiar.
True Grit is about a feisty teenage girl who hires an alcoholic, one-eyed marshal to help her track down the low-down, dirty sonofabitch who killed her father in cold blood. After scrounging up the necessary fee and adding a second marshal to the hunt who’s also eyeing that reward money for the said daddy killer, the unlikely trio sets off into the countryside with rifles loaded and justice on their mind.
So that’s the same synopsis I wrote up for the original True Grit because while the cast and crew may be different some 40 years later, there’s not a whole lot else that’s really changed. All the same, let’s start with the improvements.
At this point, the Coen brothers could put out a shot-for-shot remake of Battlefield Earth and it would probably win eight different Oscars it wasn’t even nominated for. Their careers speak for themselves, they deserve every ounce of credit that comes their way, and they do a swell job behind the camera here even if it doesn’t have the same kind of personal touch you’d find in something like Raising Arizona. The shootouts aren’t on par with watching Anton Chigurh run around town with a silenced shotgun in tow and the first Act does feel kinda rushed, but by the same token, it seems kinda stupid to gripe about the Coens these days or any day for that matter. These guys know what they’re doing.
So when I heard that they were adapting this movie directly from the novel instead of the John Wayne version, that made me happy. The tone of the original was too cheery, same goes for the dialogue, and Wayne could have been a much bigger sonofabitch. Luckily, the Coens have pretty much fixed all that…for the most part.
The dialogue still balances between prim-and-proper and sharp-tongued, but this time around it leans noticably more on the latter end of things and it’s nice to not have our one-eyed marshal calling his pint-sized sidekick “Baby Sister” at every opportunity. This is a huge improvement and makes the overall tone that much tougher and fitting for a story that needed it. It’s also got a pretty good sense of humor and some memorable one-liners, but it still ain’t quite at the “gritty” level. Think if the Coens traded in some laughs for some attitude, I’d be whistling a different tune in that regard. But at least the laughs are good ones.
Although the cast is an improvement on every front.
Coming as the biggest non-surprise of the year, Jeff Bridges is the freakin’ man. Yeah, I’ll say it, he’s one-upped The Duke as trigger-happy marshal “Rooster” Cogburn. He’s a more convincing drunk, he’s a crotchety bastard, and, come on, he’s The Dude. The long and short of it is that Bridges is awesome for the same reasons he’s always been and he brings a lot more character to the role than was ever there before. Not exactly Oscar-worthy, but he rocks and Cogburn’s legacy as a Western icon has only been further cemented.
And big props to Hailee Steinfeld as Cogburn’s tween employer, Mattie Ross. Doesn’t hurt that Ross was the best character to begin with, but Steinfeld’s got the chops of someone twice her age and she holds her own like a total boss in her silver screen debut. Looking forward to seeing more from her, something tells me she’ll be popping up like gangbusters.
The most surprising cast member here is actually Matt Damon as our Texas Ranger of the hour, LaBeouf. Man, I don’t know how he’s managing to raise a family these days because Matt Damon has been in fucking everything over the past couple years and it doesn’t look like he’s gonna stop his goal of becoming The Most Filmed Human Being of All-Time any time soon. With that being said, after seeing him without fail in at least one coming attraction for every movie I’ve gone to since starting this blog, it was getting old. But I guess there’s something to him being at the top of every casting director’s Most Wanted list because he’s an astronomical improvement over Glen Campbell’s take on the character. Like Bridges and Steinfeld, he’s not playing second fiddle to anyone, he gets it done well and his glorified boy scout approach is a great compliment to Bridges’ constant harassment. So keep it up, Matt, guess I just need to see more of your movies.
Josh Brolin’s also unusually solid as bounty number one, Tom Chaney, and it’s nice to see the under-casted Barry Pepper as Chaney’s boss, Ned Pepper. Dude is the second coming of Robert Duvall.
But the biggest problem with True Grit is the same problem I had with the original: it still feels like your standard, by-the-books Western. The good thing about that is that it’s cool to see the Coens taking a more old school approach to things, but not counting a few minor exceptions like a better ending, the story and the plot are still unchanged and the story and the plot weren’t all that memorable to begin with. Still not crazy about the waxing and waning relationships among these three bounty hunters even though their character arcs have improved, still didn’t have much of a connection with them, and I simply didn’t find myself all that invested in a story that I feel like I’ve heard before. Felt stronger about all these shortcomings with the original, but they’re still there regardless and they’re what hold this baby back from nabbing an 8.
It wasn’t that I was disappointed by True Grit, it just wasn’t the re-imagining I was expecting from a film making duo who clearly know a thing or two about all things gritty. Nevertheless, it’s a definite improvement in a lot of key areas. Doesn’t quite live up to all the “better than Unforgiven” talk I’ve been hearing, but it’s good for what it is. A fine Western to wrap up a decade that could have used more.
Gotta love that poster though.
RIP Pete Postlethwaite
Today is a very sad day, folks. At 64, we have lost one of the most under-appreciated actors of the past two decades. Maybe you remember him as Kobayashi from The Usual Suspects, or Giuseppe Conlon from In the Name of the Father, or even just his badass five minutes spent cutting roses and chewing out Ben Affleck in The Town, but whether you’ve been on the Postlethwaite bandwagon for years or if he’s always been That Guy, he was no freakin’ joke. Truly a shame, especially when it seemed like he was finally starting to get his due.
You were the man, Pete, and you will be missed.
Blue Valentine (2010)
VERDICT:
9/10 Future Rooms
Further proof that Ryan Gosling is the greatest Canadian export since poutine.
Blue Valentine is about an uneducated, blue-collar twenty-something who comes down with a mean case of love at first sight when he locks eyes with a twenty-something college girl and steals her heart like it’s no big thing. Long story short, they fall head-over-heels for each other, they get married, they become parents, they settle down, and as their lives become routine, the passion that kicked off their relationship slowly dwindles to the breaking point.
Yeah, it’s as much a total bummer as it is one of the most happy-go-lucky love stories I’ve seen in ages, and even though writer/director Derek Cianfrance ain’t exactly seeing things from a glass-half-full perspective, he nails what he brings to the table.
It’s Cianfrance’s first real mainstream effort (if you can even call this mainstream) and I can’t effing wait to see what he’s gonna churn out next. Apparently this movie took a good 12 years to get made and the script went through some 60-odd rewrites, and more power to him for stickin’ through it because rarely do I ever get the chance to see a movie as genuine as this. Granted, having Gosling and Williams is half the battle right out the gate, but one of the sure signs of a truly phenomenal script is when it doesn’t even seem like the script is there.
Listening to these characters flirt with one another, argue with one another, fall in and out of love with another like the camera’s not even there, like this is a documentary of their own lives as it unfolds from the best of times into the worst of times, it’s lightning in a bottle that you’d be hard-pressed to catch twice. And more than anything else, I think that’s what I loved about this movie. It’s just so vulnerable and honest and complicated and Cianfrance does a stellar job of taking a burnt-out boy-meets-girl story and making it feel new.
His direction is straightforward, letting the cast and his script do the talking (good call), but it’s the way Cianfrance structures the plot that adds so much to the relationship at the forefront. The story starts out with our couple years after they’ve been married, going through the motions in what you could easily call a “settled” life. Gosling’s got a mean receding hairline, he dresses like Larry the Cable Guy, his career aspirations have peaked at painting houses and his daily schedule consists of downing beers like they’re going out of style. Williams, on the other hand, is climbing up the corporate ladder as a nurse, pretty much single-handedly supporting her family and looks mentally, physically, and emotionally drained from sunup to sundown. Mirror all that with flashbacks of their glory days when they first met, two kids full of life with more love for each other than they know what to do with, and you’ve got yourself quite the recipe for heartbreak.
Like I said, it’s a bummer.
Then again, that scene in the trailer where Gosling is playing the ukulele while Williams tap-dances along may be the best damn scene of the year. Even better than the rotating hallway number from Inception, and that was effing awesome.
Anywho, watch out for Cianfrance, those dozens upon dozens of rewrites sure paid off and he’s got himself a screenwriter’s wet dream. Also pretty sure that he’s Ryan Gosling’s doppelganger.
But let’s just get to the cast already because if either or both of these kooky kids don’t win Oscars, I swear I’ll turn that damn TV off this year. I don’t care what the fuck James Franco and Anne Hathaway have to say!
So, Ryan Gosling: my number one man-crush, the best thing that ever came out of The Mickey Mouse Club, one of the greatest and most under-appreciated actors out there today by a long shot. If you haven’t seen Half Nelson yet, do so and I guarantee you’ll be on the bandwagon. Here he’s playing our guy Dean, and I fear for the day that anyone like him ever tries to sweep my fiancee out under my feet because this guy has game like no other. The dude has self-confidence down to a science, you like him from the second you meet him and all you want is to learn and see more. The thing Gosling’s always done best is act natural, like he’s not playing a character but just being his plain old unbecoming, awesome self, and that’s a big reason why he’s such a strong lead as Dean. He had me howling with laughter, he had me buying every high and low, it was like he was Dean, and that’s a hard thing to do.
If this review wasn’t so long as is, I’d keep going on this Gosling rant, but you get the idea. It probably won’t happen, but make no mistake, Gosling deserves Best Actor more than anyone else on any ballot out there.
And hats off to Michelle Williams for giving this her all as our girl Cindy. She was great in Brokeback but it wasn’t until now that I’ve been truly impressed. Cindy’s got one rough character arc from wild child to breadwinner and Williams is clearly digging deep to make it seem legit. Needless to say, she pulls it off like the pro that she is. While I’d be surprised if this wasn’t Natalie Portman’s year, Williams sure has come a long way since her days on Dawson’s and this is yet another big step in the right direction towards cementing her place in Hollywood as one of the heavyweights.
The only issue I’ve got with the movie is that it’s hard to take Cindy’s side against Dean when the shit starts to hit the fan. The primary reason is because of the way he man’s up at the start of their time together and builds a life with her under circumstances that would make most men run for the hills, and after that point, as bad as he may fuck up as a drunken, jealous husband, it’s hard not to sympathize for the guy and think, “I don’t blame him.” Not to say that it villainizes Cindy in any way, but it definitely does make him out to be more of the victim. Not sure if it was intended to be that way, but I think I could have gone for a more level playing field. But who knows, the ladies in the audience might beg to differ.
Blue Valentine might not be the biggest “Go Marriage!” endorsement out there, but it’s genuinely affecting, it’s as bittersweet as they come, it’s beautifully ugly and it’s the most human movie I’ve seen all year along with being one of the flat-out best. It didn’t quite get me to the point of tears, but it runs the emotional gamut like gangbusters without being anything close to melodramatic, and I simply couldn’t have asked for a better swan song to 2010. Great little soundtrack by Grizzly Bear, too. If by some grace of God this happens to be playing by you, see it before it’s gone.
No idea why this got pegged with an NC-17 rating for a while, though. Not exactly tame by any means, but it’s not like there’s full on penetraeshe or anything. You’re an adult, you can handle it.
And the best Santa is…
BILLY BOB!!!
Hell yeah he is. Therman Murman approves.
Sorry for the two-week poll, folks. Santa got me a brand new VCR for Christmas and I’ve finally been able to revisit my VHS collection that’s been collecting dust for the past, oh, 34 years. Needless to say, I’ve been busy, but that’s enough of that. Back to the chaos of blogging.
RESULTS:
– Billy Bob: 18 votes
– Tim Allen: 10 votes (man, that guy could use a comeback)
– Edmund Gwenn (the original Miracle on 34th St. Santa): 7 votes
– The mall Santa from Home Alone: 4 votes
– The mall Santa from A Christmas Story: 3 votes
– Dan Aykroyd in Trading Places: 3 votes
– The Santa from Elf: 3 votes (bonus points for being one of the few people who knows where the original Ray’s Original Pizzeria is)
– Other: 1 vote for “Hulk Hogan, brother!” from Santa with Muscles (can’t believe I didn’t include that one), 1 vote for “The Santa in A Nightmare Before Christmas” (good call), and 1 vote for “Robot Santa Claus from Futurama” (another good call).
Well, hope ya’ll had a wonderful Festivus and New Year’s. Here’s to hoping 2011 isn’t the cinematic dry spell that 2010 was.
And just out of curiosity, anyone ever see Santa’s Slay? Pretty shitty for the most part, but Bill Goldberg definitely has his moments.
Happy Holidays!
So I completely intended to have a Christmas Vacation review up last Friday, but it’s been a bit of a whirlwind trip these past couple days and at this point I’m too hopped up on egg nog and leftovers to keep up with my schedule. On that note, I’ll be taking this next week to relax, play with all the sweet stuff that Santa got me and hopefully squeeze in True Grit, Somewhere and Blue Valentine along the way. Will be back on January 3rd, same Crap time, same Crap channel, so Merry Belated Christmas, Happy Belated Hanukkah, Happy Belated Kwanzaa, and have yourselves a hell of a time on New Years! HUZZAH!
True Grit (1969)
VERDICT:
6/10 Dead-Eye Dukes
Not quite the badass manhunt I thought it would be, but a decent Western all the same.
True Grit is about a feisty teenage girl who hires an alcoholic, one-eyed marshal to help her track down the low-down, dirty sonofabitch who killed her father in cold blood. After scrounging up the necessary fee and adding a second marshal to the hunt who’s also eyeing that reward money for the said daddy killer, the unlikely trio sets off into the countryside with rifles loaded and justice on their mind.
Not gonna lie, my experience with John Wayne’s body of work is pretty limited. Big fan of The Searchers, seen bits and pieces of Stagecoach, and I’m pretty sure I saw The Quiet Man when I was a kid…pretty sure it put me to sleep, too. Truth be told, even being the Western fan I am, if it weren’t for the Coen Brothers remake, I don’t know when I would have gotten around to this. And while it ain’t bad for what it is, I’m still stickin’ with Eastwood.
So with an awesome title like True Grit to work with, one would expect a cinematic experience filled with the meanest, mangiest, morally warped mother effers this side of the border just raising hell and killing chumps left and right. Gritty stuff, that’s what I’m looking for. Seems like a legitimate expectation, right? Anyway, with the exception of an unfortunate guy who gets his fingers chopped by his best friend, this ended up being as gritty as yogurt.
It’s a pretty standard Western with pretty standard characters on a pretty standard mission. The double-edged sword of this situation is that the standard Western formula is a pretty effective formula to begin with, but when there’s not much else to make it stand out from the herd, it makes for a pretty forgettable ride. The exception here is Kim Darby’s character, Matty, our headstrong little girl with a serious thirst for vengeance. Darby’s performance didn’t do a whole lot for me, but it’s pretty unusual to see a tough gal like her in a Western like this and I dig the way she continually holds her own against the likes of professional killers. Everyone else though? You’ve seen ’em before.
But the biggest problem here isn’t the performances or the plot, it really boils down to the ho-hum dialogue and strangely cheery score that plays throughout. Maybe I’ve been playing too much Red Dead Redemption as of late, but no one here is talking like they’re from the old West, they’re all talking like they drink their tea with their pinky out. It’s way too formal, way too prim and proper, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes every time John Wayne called Kim Darby his “Baby Sister”. I mean, this is a movie about dudes killing dudes, why are they talking like honorary members of The Babysitter’s Club? And like I said, the “Yee-haw!” score playing throughout doesn’t do much to take away from this upbeat and unwanted tone either.
So this is the part of the review where I’m supposed to turn things around and say, “But John Wayne, man…dude blew my knickers clear off with this performance. The role of a lifetime, singlehandedly redeems everything else that holds this movie back.” But alas, it ain’t gonna happen. Wayne plays our renegade marshal, “Rooster” Cogburn, and I hadn’t even gotten to Act two when I realized that what they gave him was a Lifetime Achievement Oscar. He’s not much of a drunk, he’s not much of an asshole, he’s got a pretty weak character arc to boot, and I couldn’t help but be disappointed since the biggest reason folks remember this movie is because of the Oscar that Wayne nabbed for it. My knowledge of Wayne might be limited, but he was unreal in The Searchers and this is a far cry from what he brought to the table in that movie. Cogburn ultimately works because it’s John Wayne being John Wayne, but for a guy that’s proven he can do better, I expected more.
Cool name though.
As for the rest of ’em, Glen Campbell isn’t all too memorable as the other pretty boy marshal tagging along for the bounty, La Boeuf; Dennis Hopper makes a really good cameo as the said bandit who loses his knuckles; and Robert Duvall ain’t too shabby as gang leader Ned Pepper, either.
Word on the street is that the Coen Brothers are using the novel rather than this as their source material, and even though I haven’t read it, I’m glad that’s the road they’re taking. I feel like this has been a pretty harsh review, but True Grit isn’t a bad movie, it’s just surprisingly underwhelming considering the Oscar-winning reputation around it. Worth seeing as a comparison piece, it’s still a fine Western and John Wayne is still pretty legit even if this isn’t the best he’s ever been, but if I were you, I think I’d hit up the book instead.
TRON: Legacy (2010)
VERDICT:
8/10 Next-Gen Uprisings
Thinkin’ it probably helps be a fan of the original, but it’s as awesome as it could have been without just being light cycles for two hours.
TRON: Legacy takes place some 20-odd years after our boy Kevin Flynn liberated The Grid from the evil MCP, took back his rightful place as The Big Cheese over at ENCOM, had a son and then disappeared off the face of the Earth, never to be heard from again. Then one day Flynn’s 27-year-old son gets a tip that his Pops is still alive, so he hits up his dad’s old arcade, stumbles upon a secret office, starts pushing buttons and finds himself sucked into The Grid. Even though this is his maiden voyage, it’s pretty evident from the start that shit has gone awry in this digital Colosseum, and with the help of a saucy little program with a funky haircut, he sets out to rescue his dad from his own creation before the computers take over and kill off all us imperfect users.
If none of this is making sense, you may very well hate this movie. It’s a direct continuation of the first TRON and it doesn’t do a great job of catching the uninitiated up to speed because (here’s my take on it) if you’re going to see a sequel to a movie, one might assume that you’ve seen the original beforehand. Not the most user-friendly way to set up a story, and it probably would have worked too if Disney hadn’t been plugging this like James Cameron on a crack binge, but since I was on the level, the transition was pretty smooth.
Then again, the story was never exactly the biggest selling point of this franchise to begin with. In terms of integrating movies with video games, TRON is the holy grail of storylines because it puts you in a game of its own instead of unsuccessfully trying to adapt a best-selling game that typically has no place being turned into a movie anyway. But from a more general storytelling standpoint, the eye candy helps. When push comes to shove, Legacy is pretty much a rehashing of everything that went down in ’82 with Flynn, Jr. encountering everything his dad did when he first got lasered into the system, Flynn, Sr. trying to bring down the very thing he created without getting derezzed, and that’s about it.
The characters are good enough even if there isn’t a whole lot of substantial development to be found amongst any of ’em, the dialogue has its moments but it’s nothing to write home about, and some of the story’s finer points don’t quite get the attention they deserve until I was watching Jeff Bridges display Professor X-like qualities with a very “WTF?” expression on my face as I wondered where I was when that got explained. All the same, it was fine for what it was back in ’82 and it’s fine for what it is 28 years later, but let’s just get to the biggest selling point of the franchise – The Grid.
All the neon-on-black was cool as hell back when Billy Mitchell got his first Atari, but as much as I can sit here and defend how the original’s special effects still hold up surprisingly well, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at that movie the same way again after this. I somehow ended up seeing this in IMAX 3D, and for once, I’m kinda glad it worked out that way ’cause this baby looks so, so nice. From the slick new jumpsuits that make Michael Keaton’s Batman getup look like a goddamn Snuggie, to the way programs shatter into cubed rain when derezzed by an identity disc, the Wow Factor is through the roof and director Joseph Kosinski never lets it up.
It’s all in the details, folks, and the details make for one stunningly realized digital frontier. The only drawback of it all is that since the action scenes are so effing boss, it makes all the chitchat in the middle stand out like a sore thum. But make no mistake, the action scenes are very. effing. boss. Can’t exactly do justice to an eight-tiered, gravity-defying identity disc battle royale, then a two-tiered, five-on-five light cycle match, and lastly a five-on-one light flyer dog fight without seeing it for yourself, but trust me, they’re totally insane and it’s a visual upgrade like you wouldn’t believe.
And that’s what TRON‘s all about: jaw-dropping, eye-popping, uber-stylish, original geekout fun that you can’t get anywhere else. It might be lacking on other areas, but as much as I was waiting to be disappointed from the moment I sat down, I can’t believe what a freakin’ time I had watching this thing.
But the acting ain’t half bad either. Never seen Garrett Hedlund in anything before, but he’s quite watchable and non-irritating as Sam Flynn; never seen Olivia Wilde in anything before, but she’s quite watchable and non-irritating as Kevin Flynn’s apprentice, Quorra; Michael Sheen is annoying as fuck and should have been written out entirely as Grid guru/albino Ziggy Stardust/emcee of the most dumbass club on the block, Zuse; Bruce Boxleitner is pretty solid here as Flynn’s old co-worker, Alan Bradley, and he briefly gets to kick a whole lot of ass as Tron; and Jeff Bridges is the man as usual. Bridges reprises his role here as system creator Kevin Flynn and he also gets a fancy new face lift to play the evil program version of his younger self, Clu.
The only problem with Clu is the same problem I’ve got with all the characters in those CG efforts that Robert Zemeckis keeps churning out: it’s just creepy how realistic he looks. Other than that, Clu’s a pretty decent bad guy, but Kevin Flynn is where it’s at. This time around he not only has a sweet beard, but he’s got powers over The Grid like Neo and has a Zen-like temperament that brought me right back to his days as The Dude. Not to say that Flynn is on the same par as either of these badasses at their best, but he’s got all the best lines that brought some unexpected levity to the mix and reminded me why Flynn was so sweet in the first place. Such is the power of Jeff Bridges.
No idea why Cillian Murphy showed up for all of five seconds though, that was odd.
So, as a fanboy, TRON: Legacy delivers the goods and then some. Wish I could weigh in on how it would gel with someone who’s just going off the trailers, but despite how badly it’s been getting shellacked by the critics right now, I really thought it was a damn entertaining way to kill two hours. As usual, I wish there was more action to be had, but (hopefully) that’s what the next sequel is for. At least give us a good video game to play with in the meantime.
And how about that Daft Punk soundtrack? Freakin’ perfect, man.
Sideways (2004)
VERDICT:
8/10 Swingin’ Sommeliers
Does nothing to help me feel like any less of an ignoramus when I walk into a wine store, but it might be the best thing that could ever happen to wine for the uninitiated moviegoer.
Sideways is about a middle-aged groom-to-be and his middle-aged best man who head out for a week-long getaway in Santa Barbara wine country to sniff pinot, hate on merlot, and enjoy the perks of bachelorhood before The Big Day comes along. While the best man has his mind set on bonding through the combined powers of aged grapes, good food and golf, things quickly take a turn for the less sophisticated when his buddy makes it his mission to bypass the vineyards in lieu of getting the both of them laid before the week is up.
They’re total opposites in every way, I have no effing clue how they managed to stay on speaking terms let alone become BFFs after bunking together as college Freshmen, but it’s a lot easier to embrace the mystery when they’re this good to watch.
So all of this is right up writer/director Alexander Payne’s alley. It ain’t flashy, it’s a talking heads number, but as he proved with Election and About Schmidt, that’s exactly what Payne does best. This is a character study of two American guys coming to terms with/running away from the mid-life crises that they’ve brought upon themselves, and as simple as it might sounds on the outset (at least for us young bucks who know jack crap about mid-life crises), it couldn’t be any more complicated below the surface.
At the center of it all is Paul Giamatti as our best man, Miles. There’s something endearing about him, probably has to do with how obsessively passionate he is about wine and how he comes off as the most upstanding guy in the world in comparison to his friend, but there’s not a whole lot to admire aside from that. He carries himself like he was born with the weight of the world on his shoulders, he’s a failed writer who meets with one disappointment after another, he still can’t get over the ex-wife he divorced four years ago, and he couldn’t have a good time with a cask at his side and a doe-eyed woman on his knee. He’s a sad state of affairs, he can’t golf for shit either, and Giamatti is perfect for the role.
Now, I’ve never met Paul Giamatti, I bet he’s a swell dude in real life and I don’t have a bad thing to say about the guy, but even without having met Miles, can’t you just imagine Giamatti playing this guy? That hunch of his, that toothy smile, the way you can picture him getting way too heated about having to drink “fucking merlot!” at a double date he’s been dragged to, it’s just a stellar casting choice and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a great actor to begin with. But as depressing as Miles is in so many ways, getting to know him and watching him go from a buzzkill wine snob to recovering love-a-holic is an endlessly interesting process.
And egging Miles on the whole way like a handsome devil his shoulder is Thomas Haden Church as our fading bachelor, Jack. On the one hand, Jack’s a scumbag of the highest order, he’s every fiancee’s worst nightmare, and he has zero shame about the girls he’s screwing, the empty promises he’s making and the damage he’s doing at the cost of living up his final days as an unmarried man. He’s why my fiancee hates this movie, and I don’t blame her. But on the other hand, he’s the life of the party, he genuinely appreciates his friend when his dick isn’t getting in the way, and his presence is a welcome relief to Miles’ bitching and moaning. I shouldn’t like the guy, he’s a total asshole, but, damn, does he seem like a fun guy to get drunk with.
God, I don’t know where Church was hiding all those years after stealing the spotlight on Wings, and with the exception of his unfortunate involvement with Spider-Man 3 (dude should have been the one to play Venom instead of that asshat Topher Grace), he hasn’t done a whole lot since, either. What a shame because Church is a blast to watch and looks very natural from start to finish. Point is: the world needs more Thomas Haden Church. I hope he’s on the level.
But Virginia Madsen is also awesome as Miles’ romantic interest, Maya. Can’t think of anything else I’ve seen her in or at least anything that’s made me want to remember her name, but she rocks here and is great opposite Giamatti. If there’s one reason why this script earned the Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar, all you have to do is watch the dialogue between Madsen and Giamatti about why Miles is so fond of pinot noir. One of the best-written scenes of the past decade, absolutely blows me away every time I hear it, and the two play it out masterfully. Fantastic script otherwise filled with tons of great dialogue and unreal character development, but that freakin’ pinot scene…
And Sandra Oh is fine as Jack’s woman on the side, Stephanie. That’s about it. General rule of thumb is to avoid anyone and anything that’s involved with Grey’s Anatomy.
So I really liked Sideways, I can completely understand how someone could turn into a wine junkie after seeing it, but I can’t help but feel like it’s also for a certain audience. It’s one of those things I can see turning up Stuff White People Like along with smelling corks and fine dining, I can see why some folks might be more bothered by Jack than find him hilarious, and while the writing and acting is out of sight, it’s a niche that might not convert those who aren’t interested. Might just be that all this is coming from a beer man who’s gone through his fair share of Franzia back in the day, but for these few drawbacks that might be crap anyway, there’s a lot of reasons this indie favorite blew up the way it did back in ’04.
That scene where they steal back the wallet was a bit strange though, huh?
The Fighter (2010)
VERDICT:
7/10 Hometown Heroes
It’s a poor man’s Rocky, but it does have the best ensemble cast of the year and that goes a long way.
The Fighter is about an up-and-coming blue-collar boxer from Lowell, MA who tries to work his way out of a losing streak with the help of his crackhead brother/former boxing champ and his wacko mother/manager at his side. As the chips continue to fall in his opponents’ favor and he’s forced to pass up golden opportunities thanks to the wishes of his crazy family, he starts going steady with a local bartender who helps him get back on his feet, shake off all the drama that’s been holding him back and start hitting the pavement on the road to the title. As you can imagine, his family doesn’t exactly take too well to this shift in management, and that’s just a whole ‘nother can of worms he has to work out while making a living out of taking uppercuts to the face.
So it’s the true story of one Micky Ward and his older brother Dicky Eklund, and as cool as it always is to be working off a true story, the big thing holding this back is that it’s a story we’ve all heard before. Sure, this time around we’ve got crack addiction, Boston accents and some major family feuding thrown into the mix, but the way you already think this plot is gonna shape up is exactly the way this plot does shape up.
But while that’s probably the biggest reason I gave this a 7 along with how totally unlikable Ward’s family is for a long while, the Rocky formula is pretty damn solid when it’s done right.
It’s well-directed by David O. Russell, it’s far more bare-bones than something like Three Kings, but I don’t know how much an ultra-stylized approach would have worked for this kind of story anyway. All in all, it’s pretty straightforward and it works well. Really dug the way all the boxing matches were filmed with a Pay-Per-View lens like I’d just been transported back to the La-Z-Boy in my living room, he lets the cast carry the story and those hits in the ring sure do look authentic. Although the training montages are pretty weak, there are as many weird song choices as there are great ones, and it takes forever for the actual boxing to kick into gear.
All the same, Russell does a fine job, but the biggest selling point here by a long shot is the cast.
I mean, I think we’re all in agreement by now that Christian Bale is very much the man. He’s Bruce Wayne, he’s Patrick Bateman, he’s a Newsie, he’s from Wales, and that’s about as much as anyone can ask for on a resume’. But as great as he’s been his entire career, this is the first time he’s had a legitimate chance at winning his first Oscar. Here he’s playing Dicky Eklund, and even though someone should at least give the guy an award solely for the outrageous damage he’s doing to his body by gaining and losing weight like a goddamn David Blaine understudy, I had no idea he had this kind of range. At the end of the movie we get to see a reel of the actual Micky and Dicky talking about what a great experience they had being on the film set, and it’s crazy how closely Bale mirrors the real-life Dicky. He’s off the wall, he’s a stone cold junkie, he’s a bum, but Bale nails the role and makes him a lot more likable than he probably should be. Dude’s got the best character arc of the bunch and it’s awesome to see Bale playing something radically different from what he’s used to and nail it from start to finish.
And in keeping with that theme, there’s Amy Adams as Micky’s main squeeze, Charlene. Never been a huge fan of the girl’s, but she has taken a huge step outside of her comfort zone and from here on out, I am an Amy Adams convert. Charlene is tough as nails, not at all glamorous (although she looks like a freakin’ runway model in comparison to the Ward sisters), and when trouble comes knocking at her door, she’s right there on the patio ready to kick ass then take names. Man, she’s just fantastic and so atypically tough, but I’m just really happy for Amy Adams more than anything. More power to her for giving this her all before she got typecast any further, wish more actors had the same self-awareness.
Mark Wahlberg’s also really good as our welterweight of the hour, Micky Ward, and that’s because it plays to Wahlberg’s strengths: having the physical attributes of a human freight train, flaunting that one serious look of his that would probably make me piss myself if I came across it in passing, and talking like he’s gonna end every sentence with “Say hi to your mother for me.” It didn’t work in The Lovely Bones, but soft-spoken and tough is exactly the kind of character Micky is and Wahlberg fits like a glove as a result.
And being that this is the first time I’ve ever seen Melissa Leo in anything, looks like I’m gonna be cruising through her life’s work from here on out. She is just great as Micky and Dicky’s helicopter mom, Alice, and she deserves an Oscar nod just as much as these other guys. What a manipulative role and Leo sends it home like it’s old hat. Really need to check out Frozen River now.
They all play off each other gorgeously, but the other great thing here is that every last one of ’em has some effing dynamite dialogue at their disposal. Like I said, the plot is whatever and the story’s been done, but there are some great one-liners and comebacks that had me and everyone else laughing out loud way more than I was expecting to. On the one hand, I love coming across a script that reads the way people actually talk, but I think I could have gone for a more serious tone to even out all the humor. But considering that it’s either a great idea or a horrible one to have three people writing the same script, I’m glad to see it fall into the former.
It could be that I just need to stop seeing movies in packed theaters because there’s apparently some epidemic going around that’s gravitating every irritating mother effer in New York City to every seat around me, but I also think the familiarity of it all played a strong hand in making it tough to get invested in everything that was going on here. It’s not a game-changer and it wasn’t until the final Act that I bumped this up to a 7, but The Fighter is still solid stuff and it’s absolutely worth seeing for the acting alone.
But my good buddy Fred really liked this, he said he’d give it an 8, and that’s a fine Verdict in my opinion, too.
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