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The Best Movies of 2011: #94 – #81

February 6, 2012

Aaand I’m back.

So here we are, knee-deep yet again in the worst two moviegoing months of the year. I figure what better time than now to look back at a time in my life where I somehow watched 94 new releases and still managed to see daylight. Some call it an accomplishment, but the verdict’s still out. I still haven’t reviewed all of ’em yet and still have some on the queue I need to check out, but 94 seems like a good, ludicrous number to start ranking them from top to bottom.

There were some serious highs and some serious lows, so whaddaya say we kick this sucker off already with the worst movie I saw all year (and, hell no, I did not see Jack & Jill):

94. Battle: Los Angeles
The downside: 13 bucks gone. The upside: if this movie can get made, it gives me hope in the reality that anyone can get a movie made in this world.

93. Sucker Punch
Worst soundtrack of the year, didn’t make a lick of sense, and probably could have cut back on all the chicks that got executed.

92. Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark
Don’t worry, I’m not. ZING!

91. Mr. Popper’s Penguins
The hilarious qualities of penguin diarrhea. Somehow missed that in Happy Feet.

90. Something Borrowed
Chicks, man…

89. No Strings Attached
What a good husband I am.

88. Our Idiot Brother
T.J. Miller: the one saving grace of the year’s most forgettable movie.

87. Cowboys & Aliens
How do you screw this up?

86. Thor
I know I’m the minority on this one, but still can’t look past the most painfully formulaic, phoned-in script of the year.

85. Atlas Shrugged: Part I
Seen better acting on Skinemax. A book like that deserves better.

84. Trust
I know I should feel otherwise, but that girl drove me up the effing wall.

83. The Hangover: Part II
A carbon copy with even more Ken Jeong? F that S.
And does anyone else find it weird that they went with roman numerals?

82. Hesher
Can’t win ’em all, JGL.

81. Bad Teacher
Thank God for Jason Segel.

Well that’s it for the first 14! Tune in tomorrow for the next 20 and all this week for the whole shebang. I promise they get better.

18 Comments leave one →
  1. February 6, 2012 2:51 pm

    A 93 movie countdown? AWESOME.

    Out of these, I saw No Strings Attached, Our Idiot Brother, The Hangover II and Hesher. I thought OIB was decent enough, and I actually really liked Hesher. But I got your back on No Strings Attached. What was Natalie Portman thinking?

    Looking forward to your top 80! (lol)

    • February 7, 2012 1:10 pm

      Haha. Thanks! Hope it doesn’t disappoint.

      Wish I’d liked Hesher more and I got what it was going for, it just didn’t connect with me and Hesher himself was a bit much at times. And I have no idea what got Portman involved in that. Isn’t that always the case with Oscar-winners though?

  2. February 6, 2012 6:25 pm

    Glad you’re back! I am still not sure why we even needed a Hangover 2? I swear if they do an Old School part 2 or Big Lebowski part 2, I am done with movies. Way too many reamakes in the works. Did you see where Brad Wesley died the other day? Dalton and Wesley both gone…sad times.

    • February 7, 2012 1:08 pm

      Thanks! And as much as we didn’t need The Hangover 2, there was never a chance that we wouldn’t get it anyway. And I’m with you on remakes. Would love it if people just started making movies instead.

      And I did hear that about Wesley. What a shame, man. At least they will always live on through Road House, and that is a fine legacy to have.

  3. Becky permalink
    February 7, 2012 1:29 pm

    You didn’t like Cowboys and Aliens? Damn. It’s not in my top 10 but I thought it was a decent time, worth what I spent.

    • February 7, 2012 1:51 pm

      Hated it, unfortunately. Thought it was really half-assed through and through, didn’t have a lick of fun either. Glad you liked it though, mine was not the kind of moviegoing experience you wish on anyone.

  4. February 8, 2012 11:19 am

    Our Idiot Brother was a good movie, man! 😉

    • February 8, 2012 11:34 am

      Haha. Good person, bad movie. Starting to think I might be in the minority though.

      • February 8, 2012 11:53 am

        It’s forgettable, but good while it lasts, I think. For me 7/10 🙂

  5. Kevin permalink
    February 11, 2012 4:01 pm

    How does the insipid No Strings Attached make your list, but the superior Friends With Benefits doesn’t?

    • March 23, 2012 11:07 am

      Didn’t see Friends With Benefits. Was unaware that they weren’t carbon copies.

  6. February 13, 2012 6:26 pm

    Nice list! I used some of the recommendations to further fill up my Netflix queue!


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