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Sex and the City (2008)

May 28, 2010

VERDICT:
4/10 Cosmopolitans

The best thing that’s ever happened to film, writing, New York, clothes, men named “Big” and the human race in general. Alright, maybe that’s a bit generous, but it’s still alright.

Sex and the City is about a notoriously single fashionista living in NYC who writes a popular relationship column about the various romantic trials and tribulations that she and her three friends come across while having sex in the city (scandalous!). Then one day our gal’s on-again, off-again boyfriend of ten years decides to pop the question, so the estrogen levels skyrocket, but then the guy acts a damn fool by standing her up at their wedding, and the estrogen levels drrrroooooop (like how the Beastie Boys would say it) and the dude spends the rest of the movie trying to win her back while the once-again-single gal recuperates and tries to figure out what went wrong.

Hopefully I didn’t just spoil anything for the three ladies out there who haven’t seen this, but if you haven’t caught on, this movie isn’t exactly what you’d call “up my alley”. Like any good boyfriend, I’ve watched my fair share of reruns – which aren’t so bad to be perfectly honest – but let’s just say that my gut instinct whenever I come across a SatC marathon on TBS doesn’t even come close to “drop everything and cancel Christmas, this is what’s going on right now”.

So rather than try and attempt to get all analytical on this sucker – because something tells me that writer/director Michael Patrick King wasn’t targeting all the male, twenty-something, Tarantino fans with this one – here’s my list of things I did and didn’t like.

The Most Excellent

1) Jennifer Hudson wasn’t too bad. Doesn’t have the best storyline, but she’s charming and I guess she keeps it real.

2) The storyline with Miranda and Steve was good. Made for some awfully interesting back-and-forths between me and my good buddy Fred. My thoughts: they were both in the wrong, but that whole mid-sex “Let’s just get it over with” line from Miranda was rough. Ladies, don’t do that, that’s not cool.

3) I like Steve. He’s a-okay, except for the whole cheating thing. Cheating’s lame.

4) The writing’s not terrible, but it was sharper and noticeably better in the show. Too much fan service, but that’s coming from a non-fan, so my opinion doesn’t really count on that one.

5) Charlotte getting explosive diarrhea. Awesome.

The Most Harsh

1) The scene where Big decides to ditch Carrie at the altar and then realizes ten seconds later what an effing idiot he is? What the fuck was that? That was ridiculous and it bothers me that the rest of Carrie’s whole damn story lines is a result of that.

2) The blood-letting, hermit-like depression that Carrie falls into after the said ridiculous scene. Good lord, woman, take off your shades, stop listening to The Cure and get a grip on your life! That gal was a hot mess, far more so than any human being should be.

3) A 145-minute running time was way too long for this thing.

4) Samantha‘s story line isn’t very interesting.

5) Charlotte’s story line isn’t very interesting.

6) Too much drawn-out grudge-holding. They really milked this stuff out. Are women really like that? I’m awfully curious.

Okay, maybe I’ve seen more than a few reruns since I’m talking about these characters like I own the box sets and watched them with my girlfriends in our jammies over a tub of Edy’s, but what can I say, I’m good with names. So aside from the questionable state of my manhood, Sex and the City‘s probably pretty decent for everyone who’s already on board, but it’s not gonna be making a convert out of anyone who’s never cared. Like I said, this is coming from someone who can appreciate why folks like the show even if I’m not on the bandwagon, so take it as you may and enjoy the sequel!

Man, those chicks really like shoes and shit.

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27 Comments leave one →
  1. May 28, 2010 12:38 am

    I admire your dedication for watching this movie. I don’t think I will ever be able to get down to it even though I don’t usually mind chick flicks (this is overkill!!). One thing is that I have never understood the fascination with Sarah Jessica Parker, I personally think she looks scary! (yes, shallow, I’m sorry)

    • May 28, 2010 8:41 am

      Yeah, I don’t get the appeal either. One of history’s mysteries.

      • May 30, 2010 5:19 pm

        Yes, what Castor said. I only just passed by the giant poster over the weekend at a local theater and shuddered. I don’t think I can sit through it even if someone paid me! Still, a well-written review, Aiden!

      • May 31, 2010 4:37 pm

        haha, thanks. just hoping the second one isn’t as bad as everyone says it is.

  2. May 28, 2010 12:40 am

    jesus, cant believe you watched this film rofl.

  3. May 28, 2010 12:58 am

    Yeah, quite bold and brave of you to watch this. Kudos, I don’t have the guts to watch this or “Twilight.”

    • May 28, 2010 8:38 am

      I’d take this over Twilight. That shit was fucking terrible.

  4. Dan permalink
    May 28, 2010 5:45 am

    Wow…I’ve seen the newspaper critics pan this movie but they were paid to sit through it! I caught the first half an hour of the first movie and bits and pieces of the rest – everything I saw was repulsive in the extreme. By the sounds of things this one is even more painful to sit through. I will be avoiding it.

    Dan
    Top10Films

  5. Miss Topanga permalink
    May 28, 2010 7:44 am

    not all girls like shoes! and not all girls like this crap!

  6. Ryan permalink
    May 28, 2010 8:59 am

    I’d rather rub salt into an open wound located on my genitals, then sit through this movie.

  7. May 28, 2010 10:58 am

    I just thought this was porn for women or something.

    But seriously, I suppose something about the free, independent women in high end clothes talking about all the awesome sex they had with men appeals to the mom who’s stuck at home with 4 kids.

    I guess it’s akin to men watching James Bond blow stuff up and sex up every hot woman he comes across while they sit at home with a beer belly and bills to pay. It’s more about the escapism than anything else.

    But thank God there are women out there who don’t love this stuff, because I’m not gonna be with no woman who loves Sex and the City.

    Just saying.

  8. Branden permalink
    May 28, 2010 2:59 pm

    You know that a big girl trapped in a boy’s body. I loved SATC on HBO, not the watered down incarnations on TBS and the CW.

    The length of the movie was bothersome to me. You are right about the Samantha and Charlotte storylines. They were just there. Shame.

  9. May 28, 2010 5:14 pm

    Everyone here beat me to it…I was just going to commend you on actually sitting down to watch this — and then on top of that chore…write about it! Kudos to you. You are a better and braver man than me. I don’t mind “chick flicks” either, if they are good, but after seeing a couple of the episodes on TV (against my will), I have never had any intention of giving this film any of my time whatsoever. Good for you. Nice critique too.

  10. May 28, 2010 11:43 pm

    Way to expand your horizons Aiden – I couldn’t do that with the Twilight series.

  11. Darren permalink
    May 29, 2010 2:59 am

    It always struck me that if a bunch of guys made a series like that and featured women the same way the show featured men, it would be run off the air in a week as being “sexist”. Double standards, I say!

    • Darren permalink
      May 29, 2010 3:00 am

      Should say “starring” a bunch of guys, because, as I recall, the production and writing staff were mostly male on the show. Though that may be a misremembered piece of trivia.

  12. May 29, 2010 5:22 am

    I wasn’t too keen on SATC the movie. It was just okay, which was disappointing as I watched every single show since it started. And it’s funny how guys really don’t like SJP, as women love her, I wonder what it is?

  13. May 29, 2010 11:08 am

    What do you get if you cross the head of a horse with the body of Sarah Jessica Parker?

    Sarah Jessica Parker.

    Kudos for sitting through this, I’ve had to do the deed twice now and no… just no.

  14. May 29, 2010 1:05 pm

    It’s funny cuz the ladies used to call me “Big”. I’m guessing for the same reasons they call big guys “Tiny”. 🙂
    I’ve said all I can say about how little I care about this movie so let me say this… if you want to see a good little film, go watch ZEROES like I just did… that shit was fucking hilarious, Aiden! Sorry it took so long.
    My favorite parts:
    1. Ping pong ball off Swayze’s face… RIP!
    2. Aiden’s need to shit twice within the span of a 13 minute film… haha.
    3. The laundry room scene when he runs off and yells, ‘Uuuuhhh, DIARHEA!!!” I was fucking rollin’.
    Great little flick… what kind of camera did you use to shoot it???

    • May 31, 2010 4:36 pm

      hahaha, thanks, man. shot it on some normal, completely unspectacular handheld camera that my mom bought maybe ten years ago. nothing fancy, but it did the trick. glad you dug it, currently working on a full-length script for it. one of these days i’ll wrap that sucker up.

      • May 31, 2010 7:36 pm

        I was actually thinking while I was watching that it could be a full length told over the course of 24 hours… DO IT, MAN!!!

  15. mcarteratthemovies permalink
    May 31, 2010 12:04 pm

    I see that once again I’m going to have to rise up and defend. So be it.

    “Sex and the City 2,” which I wasted $7 on this weekend, is everything you complain about in the original. In my opinion, however, the original is a real prize, something totally surprising and substantial and unexpected from a TV series that ended perfectly. Michael Patrick King created a sincere and touching movie about the power of women’s friendships with “Sex and the City,” and he did it without letting the fashions and the shoes and the glamour overpower the chemistry that made Parker, Cattrall, Davis and Nixon such a great comedy foursome. There are plenty of movies out there about female friendships, but I haven’t seen one in years that’s as honest and truthful as this one, or one that looks at the real problems women in their 30s and 40s face.

    I stand behind my rating of “Sex and the City” as one of the best film sof 2008.

  16. May 31, 2010 10:30 pm

    The movie is 145 minutes long? Are you fucking serious?

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