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Snakes on a Plane (2006)

November 21, 2009


VERDICT:
6/10 Highly Unlikely Situations

One of the deeper, more thought-provoking films of my generation. Truly profound on many a level.

Snakes on a Plane is about…well, it’s exactly what you think it’s about. A guy witnesses a notorious mob boss commit a murder, the said guy gets put on a plane with Samuel L. Jackson as his FBI bodyguard so that he can testify against the mobster, then it turns out that the mobster loaded up the whole effing cargo section of the plane with venomous snakes that are all really pissed off as a bizarro way to kill off the witness without having someone just shoot him.

I could probably just tell you to click this link and leave it at that – and considering I just clicked that link five times in the last minute and I’m still laughing my ass off, I’m pretty tempted to do so – but what the hell, I’ll just go ahead and keep this one short and sweet.

There’s probably two reactions you had when you first heard the title of this movie: “Worst. Idea. Ever.” or “FUCK. YES.” I’m pretty sure this review would be going differently if I was in the former mindset, but come on, how could you not be at least a little interested with a title like that?

Yeah, it’s pretty stupid, but any movie whose overall function is to see how many ways people can die via snakes on crack, explore the many wonderful places people can get bitten (e.g.: penis and breast get addressed quite promptly, in case you’re wondering), and gives Samuel L. Jackson free reign to swear and yell his brains out like no other, that’s the kind of movie I’m going to see. The acting is whatever, the story is pretty much non-existent, but who cares, bring out the next batch of boobie-biting snakes!

One question though, how the hell did they smuggle the world’s largest anaconda onto that plane without anyone noticing? Ugh, never mind, stupid question for a movie like this.

Snakes on a Plane is a B-movie through and through, it’s not trying to be the next Die Hard, and you’re getting exactly what you pay for with this one. While it’s not necessarily a good movie, it’s still a good slice of ridiculous fun and who can resist Sam Jackson tazing snakes and dropping F-bombs for an hour and forty minutes? I sure can’t.

That Sam Jackson. What a badass.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Ryan permalink
    November 23, 2009 5:23 pm

    Actually went to see this in theaters, well aware this was not going to be up for an Oscar, and definitely had some fun watching it. The worst part was the stupid music video for some crapy band that they play at the end of the movie… I was actually crying from laughing so hard over how crappy the song was.

    • November 23, 2009 5:25 pm

      Yeah, that song was fucking awful. Not a good note to end the movie on.

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