American Wedding (2003)
VERDICT:
5/10 Dookie Truffles
Yeah, it’s another American Pie movie. That’s about it.
American Wedding picks up with that kid who banged the pie as he gets ready to marry the chick who violated her flute. Somehow Stifler gets invited to the wedding and everyone does their best to make sure he doesn’t ruin it.
UNLEASH THE SEXUAL AWKWARDNESS!
Caught this on TBS last weekend because it was either this or Olympic ice dancing – aka: the lamest thing anyone can do on ice. As stated on the poster, this here is “The Thrilling Climax of the ‘AMERICAN PIE’ SAGA” (notice the oh so subtle innuendo going on there), so if you’ve seen the other two, you know what to expect.
Now, I’ve been waiting to review the original American Pie because the first two times I saw it I found it pretty funny, at least a hell of a lot funnier than every movie after it that tried to emulate the bar Pie set for crude teen sex comedies. Then on the third time around, I could hardly even watch it. Considering I’ve got a two-out-of-three-ain’t-bad situation going, I need to give it one more go around before deciding on a final verdict. But Wedding is pretty much more of the same.
For the first half of the movie, I was tempted on numerous occasions to just turn it off, but like I said…ice dancing. The first hour is utterly devoid of laughter, it’s totally predictable and it’s just raunchy for the sake of being raunchy. A mistaken bestiality threesome? Screw that noise. Not funny.
But then the second half boots up and things start working in its favor.
The thing is, I don’t even know why they called this American Wedding because it’s all about Stifler. This is also the thing that saves the movie because Stifler has always been the funniest part of this whole series and once he steps into the forefront during the second half, everything else becomes that much more enjoyable. He’s a total dick as usual, but that’s the appeal and he’s the only one in the main circle of friends that doesn’t come off as a carbon copy of the guy standing next to him.
But I’ve always liked Seann William Scott. Dude’s always been pretty funny and has never taken himself too seriously. I dig that.
I don’t know, I don’t have a whole lot to say about this one other than it ain’t a bad alternative to ice dancing. But so is eating wax, so that’s not much of a recommendation at all. Alright, let me try that again. American Wedding‘s not as memorable as American Pie, but for all the ways it screws up right off the bat, it gradually redeems itself to the point where it’s entertaining and worth a smile. Much better.
Seven (1995)
VERDICT:
9/10 Head Cases
David Fincher’s best work. Argue away, I’m standing by that statement.
Seven is about a veteran detective who’s anxious to retire and his rookie partner who’s green behind the ears as they work together to track down a serial killer who’s running through the streets of Chicago and murdering/mutilating some of society’s more unpopular folk based on each of the seven deadly sins.
I think I was in sixth or seventh grade the first time I saw this and, needless to say, it messed me up pretty good. Couldn’t sleep right for a week, daydreamed about it all day at school and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it for fear of getting an earful from the ‘rents if word got around that I had actually watched Seven. Oh, and I didn’t even see the theatrical version, just saw it on TV. Made zero difference, still horrifying.
Going off that point, this is one brilliant but messed up movie. It’s penned by one Andrew Kevin Walker, who’s done a whole bunch of crap before and after this, but something apparently clicked for the guy and he managed to write up one totally ingenious thriller that stays with you long after the end credits roll. It’s also a very smart script in that it leads you on, only letting you see the aftermath of the crime scene (the mark of any good horror movie), always putting the characters one step behind the killer who’s plainly smarter than everyone who’s trying to catch him and it’s not until it finally reaches an apex of horror that you see the whole picture for what it really is.
The dialogue is good and the pacing is good, but it’s the premise and the killer’s motives that dropkick your conscience, rack your brain and make you walk down the street with a different view on the world from that point on that really make this script stand out.
But even so, this is Fincher’s movie all the way. The thing that’s always stuck out for me about Fincher is the way he manipulates shadows and starkly contrasts light with dark, and more often than not leaning towards dark. The way he turns the city of Chicago into this grimy cesspool that rains buckets for days on end, blocking out any trace of the sun until the last scene, all of Fincher’s visuals complement the utterly grim nature of this movie in every facet. Some of the imagery is nothing short of striking and though he’s only gotten better since, this will always be my essential Fincher experience. Something about that shot of an anonymous killer in a raincoat with a gun aimed right at a helpless Brad Pitt’s temple in the middle of a storm always sticks out to me. Totally wild stuff.
Also features one of the best opening credits sequences I’ve ever seen set to one totally creepy remix of “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. Like that song wasn’t creepy enough to begin with.
The acting’s also pretty solid. Brad Pitt ain’t bad as the new guy, David Mills, and Morgan Freeman is awesome as William Somerset, the voice of reason in the partnership. And then there’s Kevin Spacey, and, well, Kevin Spacey steals the show. Unfortunately can’t go into much detail other than that, but trust me, you’ll be remembering Kevin Spacey. Come on, it’s Verbal Kint we’re talking about here, should be no surprise that he steals the show.
There aren’t a whole lot of movies out there that have shook me up the way Seven did, and not so much because of shock value, but rather because of what it has to say. Everyone remembers “the box” for good reason, but it’s that last speech of Spacey’s in the back of the car that always does it for me. Thrillers rarely delve this deep into the mind of a psychopath, nor do they tend to get the audience to practically connect with the psychopath on a level of understanding. I love Fight Club as much as the next guy, but Seven‘s in a league of its own on a number of levels.
Grizzly Man (2005)
VERDICT:
8/10 Wild Boys
An incredibly candid look into an incredibly fascinating life.
Grizzly Man is a documentary about one Timothy Treadwell who up and decided to spend the last 13 Summers of his life hanging out with a population of grizzly bears in the Alaskan wilderness and capture everything on video before ultimately meeting his death at the hands of the wrong cub.
Yes, this is a true story and, yes, it’s totally crazy.
Going into this, I was skeptical because I didn’t really know what else it could have to say other than “Maybe it’s not such a good idea to go live with bears”, but lucky for me, this ended up being one of the more compelling character studies I’ve seen in a good long while. But that simple premise of guy-thinks-it’s-normal-to-live-with-bears has a real hook to it just on its own and you gotta wonder what the hell he was up to all that time. It’s a bittersweet movie in that, well, the guy dies, but he died doing the one thing in life he would die for and he got to spend freakin’ 13 years doing it before it all went downhill fast.
That’s more than most people who live with humans can say.
What I’m getting at is that this is a life that you’ve never seen before and Timothy Treadwell is the kind of guy that just draws you in. This is one of those “crazy until proven sane” scenarios where it’s easy as pie to read that synopsis and write him off as effing NUTS, but then you see him in front of the camera, you see how he truly cares about these animals, that he’s more at home shacking up next to a bear den than most people are under a roof and you start to think, “Okay, this guy’s crazy, but I’m starting to get it.”
Timothy is like a mix between Bear Grylls and Mr. Rogers. This guy has balls the size of a honeydew but talks about his life, his mission and his furry friends like he’s singing you a lullaby. He’s totally eccentric, he draws you in by just being himself and the best part is that you get to see everything that’s going through his head, especially the stuff that probably never would have made it into this movie had he been alive. It’s like having Timothy read you his life story straight out of his diary and considering how lonely it gets when all you’ve got to talk to is bears and foxes, he ends up talking a lot.
It’s also really interesting when he starts to talk about how he used to be an alcoholic, how he tried everything in the book to kick the bottle and the only thing that worked was chillin’ with the bears. Creates this amazing little give and take between Timothy and the company he chooses to keep.
The only issue I had with this movie was director Werner Herzog. Now, I’ve always gotten the impression that Herzog is one of these guys who knows he is hot shit, like molten lava hot, and if you don’t know that by now, then you, sir, are dirt. Instead of taking a back seat and letting Timothy and the people who knew him do the talking, he ends up making himself a main character by narrating his thoughts on everything that’s happening on-screen and even putting himself in front of the camera at times to stage totally fake, melodramatic moments with Timothy’s close friends.
Werner, man. Pipe down. This movie’s not about you. I do not care about your thoughts on Timmy. Please go back to your seat. Thank you.
But even with Werner at the forefront every now and again, it doesn’t prevent Timothy’s story from being anything less than captivating. Grizzly Man definitely adds a degree of credibility and understanding to a passion and a life that probably no one else out there will ever be able grasp first-hand. It’s not trying to make Timothy’s lifestyle seem normal, because, let’s be honest, bears are still terrifying beyond belief, but it sure is something else to watch from a distance.
Grizzly bears, man. Dwight Schrute ain’t kiddin’.
And the Oscar prediction for Best Actor ’09 goes to…
THE DUDE!
Still pulling for Colin Firth over here, but who am I kidding, it’s about freakin’ time Bridges got his due. That Bad Blake sure was one bitchin’ boozehound. Best thing that movie had going for it, too.
Well done, dear readers.
RESULTS:
– Jeff Bridges – Crazy Heart: 10 votes
– George Clooney – Up in the Air: 5 votes
– Colin Firth – A Single Man: 8 votes (I’m pleasantly surprised)
– Morgan Freeman – Invictus: 4 votes
– Jeremy Renner – The Hurt Locker: 5 votes
Alrighty then, two more categories to go…
Shutter Island (2010)
VERDICT:
6/10 Loony Bins
Took a month and a half to get there, but not a bad way to finally kick off 2010.
Shutter Island is about a U.S. Marshall in the 1950s who’s sent out to investigate the sudden disappearance of a criminally insane patient at mental institution set comfortably in the middle of the freakin’ ocean. He starts asking questions, doesn’t get any answers, quickly discovers that some shady stuff is going down and tries to get to the bottom of it before he finds himself locked up with the rest of these wackos.
Can’t say I was all too psyched to see this when the first trailers starting appearing roughly three years ago, but since pushing the release date back six months and booting up some new previews that made it look a hell of a lot better than just Leo muttering to himself with his “Boston accent”, I was looking forward to making this my first movie of the new year. Sure wasn’t gonna make it Dear John.
This here is the latest Scorsese/DiCaprio project- or “Scorprio” as I like to call them (that is totally gonna catch on) – and this little artist/muse vibe they’ve got going seems to be working out just fine. Still not totally sold on DiCaprio and I’ve never understood it when folks say that Goodfellas is better than The Godfather, but The Departed wasn’t too bad and this isn’t either.
From a visual standpoint, Scorsese’s tip top. Look, the guy’s been directing for 90 years, he knows how to make a movie look sharp. Nor does it hurt that the set pieces are out of sight, not that making a prison ward for psycho killers the creepiest thing ever can be all that hard of a feat to tackle. So, yeah, Scorsese’s good as usual.
But the real strength of this movie is its cast. Leo’s good as everyone’s favorite U.S. Marshall, Teddy Daniels, but Shutter Island is absolutely chock full of kickass actors who all bring something great to the mix. Ben Kingsley’s the bomb because he’s Ben Kingsley, Jackie Earle Haley is also awesome as he continues to confirm his status as one of my favorite guys out there right now, and the performances by Michelle Williams, Max von Sydow and Mark Ruffalo among others are all solid, too. Always great to see a cast where everyone rocks in equal parts without overshadowing one another.
So, for the most part, things are turning up Shutter Island, but then we get to the script and the pacing. Maybe I was just antsy or maybe it had something to do with me being hungover at the time, but this movie took forever to get through. So many scenes just drag on and on and on where the characters ramble like gangbusters instead of cutting to the chase or it’ll cut to a lengthy dream sequence mid-conversation that didn’t seem like it was supposed to be there and only draws things out further. And while it does pick up in a big way by the final Act where all the loose ends get tied up and everything clicks, trying to figure stuff out for an hour and a half when you’re totally out of the loop and everything’s making less and less sense can be a pretty frustrating experience. Such is not always the case with movies, but it was this time around.
The dialogue’s good and the script isn’t poorly written in the least, it just felt so damn long is all. Not sure who’s to blame on this one, might even point the finger at me this time, but something didn’t work and it didn’t suck me in like I hoped it would.
Then again, I saw this with my good buddy Fred and he still doesn’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Fred didn’t have any of the problems I did with Shutter Island, was totally captivated from start to finish and being that Fred’s opinions are usually pretty spot-on, this is something to take into consideration.
But hey, there hasn’t been a thing out in theaters for roughly two months now that I would have dropped 12 bucks to sit through, so I’d say this is your best bet at the moment. Not perfect and I’m betting the book is better (have it on good authority that it’s quite awesome in fact), but Shutter Island redeems itself enough in the end that I’d go ahead and recommend it.
Scorprio. You heard it here first, folks.
WHOA! DOUBLE BONUS SATURDAY POSTS!
Hey again folks,
So I wrote this thing for the sweet club I’m a part of, The Large Association of Movie Blogs, where I break down the Oscar nominees for Best Sound Editing. Being that I didn’t get to choose the category and don’t know an effing thing about sound editing, I had myself a time with this one. So check it out over here, I hope you get a laugh out of it, because I sure did when I was writing it.
Keep it real,
Aiden R.
BONUS SATURDAY POST!
Hey folks,
Fellow blogger Kai B. Parker over at The List came up with the idea to get me and a couple other movie nerds put together a short of “MORE FILMS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU NEEDED TO SEE” this past week and just put it up for everyone to see! HUZZAH! So boot up your Netflix queue and check it out over here or at the link below. Who knows, it might just change your life. Enjoy!
– Aiden R.
American Psycho (2000)
VERDICT:
7/10 Flawless Business Cards
Sports a suspect message and kinda falls apart in the end, but everything else is pretty freakin’ nuts.
American Psycho is about a wealthy New York investment banker in the ’80s who plays the role of indulgent, materialistic yuppie by day and turns into a bloodthirsty killing machine with a jones for Huey Lewis by night.
Point of the story: don’t trust yuppies.
Seen this movie a couple of times and it was only after my good buddy Fred read the source material by Bret Easton Ellis a while back and explained to me what the hell was going on in the final Act that I garnered a new appreciation for this twisted little dark comedy. And that’s why I dug it, because for all the killing, all the psycho babble and all the effed up insanity that goes down, it is a dark comedy that cracked me up more than it shook me up.
On the one hand, I still don’t get the whole “yuppie culture = serial murdering” analogy that fuels the story here – not really sure what it means, not really sure if it’s supposed to mean anything at all. But on the other hand, it does a great job of making fun of the whole yuppie lifestyle through our resident psycho, Patrick Bateman.
His whole thing – his whole being for that matter – is putting on this facade that he’s the hottest shit you’ve ever smelled and has the “brains” to back up the image. His ridiculous morning routine, the ridiculous way he talks, his ridiculous wealth of knowledge about some of lamest bands of the ’80s (expect Huey Lewis and The News, they were sweet) and his ridiculous ego that pushes him to the breaking point every time he can’t get a reservation at New York’s most elite restaurant or when his pristine business card gets crapped on by the one guy who actually is the shit, Patrick is what’s hilarious about the ’80s twenty years after cell phones the size of your head. Even when he’s chopping up fools in cold blood, his act never stops and instead of ruining the moment, the schtick makes it that much more memorable.
The other big reason me and everyone else likes Patrick is thanks to Christian Bale. This was the breakthrough role for the guy, Patrick Bateman’s become a total cult icon since and Bale does a great job of hamming it up like he was born crazy. Something about that Gordon Gekko oil slick on his head, those bright white teeth in that fake-ass, ear-to-ear smile and the way he tries so damn hard to be the best at being rich, he makes Patrick a riot to watch. What a freakin’ maniac and it awesome to see him lose it.
But for all the things the script does well, the ending is still pretty muddled and will probably just make you scrunch your face and wonder, “What the eff was that about?” Doesn’t do a good job of explaining what the actual resolution to the story is and I’d suggest reading the book (which makes the movie look tame as all hell from what I hear) beforehand if you want to have any idea of what is up by the time it’s all said and done.
So it could have been told better and some of the scenes might be a little too over the top for some, but American Psycho is still a pretty wild and thoroughly amusing ride. I feel like Christian Bale hasn’t really been impressing me all that much as of late, so, if anything, it’s cool to see him in the role that really put him on the map and didn’t require him to get horrifically gaunt or grunt like an ape.
Now don’t just stare at it. Eat it!
The Truman Show (1998)
VERDICT:
9/10 Big Brothers
I’m truly amazed that FOX hasn’t turned this into a real thing yet.
The Truman Show is about a man whose life has been the center of the world’s most popular reality TV show since the day he was born and for going on thirty years he’s been totally oblivious to it. Then one day movie set lights start falling from the sky and people start looping the block for hours at a time among several other even stranger occurrences, and Truman starts to wonder, “What the eff is up with this town and why is my wife constantly plugging hot chocolate?”
The first time I saw this back in ’98, I vividly remember walking out of the theater and thinking for the first time ever, “That was really good acting.” Now, I was also going through a big Jim Carrey kick at the time, so big that I probably considered him a personal hero of sorts and would certainly have pissed myself with glee had I ever gotten the chance to meet him in person, so I was a little biased. But ten years later, I gotta say that little Aiden wasn’t too far off.
High concept movies like this don’t come along too often and, more importantly, nor do they usually work this well. There are a lot of aspects about this movie to appreciate, but the concept and execution are really what do it for me. In our Orwellian/Huxley-an world of overnight YouTube celebrities, CrackBerries and Twitter orgies, sometimes I can’t help but feel like I’m plugged into The Matrix and I don’t even know it. Writer Andrew Niccol does a great job of playing into this feeling of paranoia and director Peter Weir does a great job of playing it all out on screen.
The whole thing is just an utterly immersive experience. From the fluid change in perspective that jumps from Truman’s world to the outside world to the those who create it all for him, to the everyday objects that serve as hidden camera angles for us to experience it not so much as a movie but as an actual world in itself; it’s these little details that elevates The Truman Show from just a passive viewing experience to something else, like you’re part of the fan club, rooting along with everyone else. It’s endlessly entertaining to watch Truman slowly peel away the layers as his whole world comes crumbling down because it all feels plausible and it all feels like it’s actually happening.
You only need to read the synopsis to see that this premise is a huge undertaking that definitely had the potential to crash and burn, but no thanks to luck, it all comes together quite brilliantly.
And the acting’s damn good, too.
Truman Burbank was a big deal for Jim Carrey. This was his turning point – his Philadelphia if you will – taking him from Fire Marshall Bill to Golden Glober in one fell swoop and he manages to pull off the role surprisingly well. He creates this wonderful Mr. Brady-gone-nuts image as he juggles hamming it up with the folk around town and flipping his shit behind closed doors without overdoing it and you end up wanting him to bust out as much as he does. While a lot of the draw to Truman does go back to his extraordinary circumstances and his gradual awareness of it all, Carrey definitely throws himself into the character, toning down a lot of what people find annoying about him and bringing out something new at the same time.
It’s always nice to see comedians make a smooth transition over to drama, especially for a guy like Carrey who was starting to be a stereotype.
But everyone’s good in this. Ed Harris is awesome as the show’s hilariously named, God-like director, Christof, Laura Linney is great as always as Truman’s wife and, whaddaya know, even a young Paul Giamatti makes an appearance. Whoopee!
It had been a long time since I first saw this, but the second viewing twelve years later has only done The Truman Show a well-deserved service. The whole idea of a man’s entire life being a TV show might have seemed like a thing of fancy back then, but our world has gotten a hell of a lot crazier and hell of a lot more public since Y2K ended up being a load of crap. Epic movies like this that have so much ambition and such grandiose ideas backing them up are rare these days, at least the good ones are, and that right there is something to be celebrated.
EDtv doesn’t have shit on this.
An Education (2009)
VERDICT:
7/10 Lessons Learned
Tip-top acting, but everything else feels all too familiar.
An Education is about a cultured, yet sheltered 16 year-old girl in England that develops a relationship of sorts with a man roughly twice her age who indulges her in the finer things in life. He presents her with a future filled with things you can’t learn in books, a future that doesn’t require her to conform to everyone else’s expectations for her to go to Oxford and study English, and that’s when things start to get serious.
So that’s the pickle, shack up with Humbert Humbert or go it the easy route. Granted, the girl is really into art and classical music and such, but I don’t know, I think I’d be more inclined to just go to college. College was awesome. College had beer.
Miller High Life, baby. Talk about the finer things in life.
Anyway, An Education‘s premise isn’t exactly breaking new ground. It’s a “you live, you learn” story, you’ve probably heard it before, only this time it’s got a bourgeois flair and a suspect romance. Well, that and the fact that it’s based off the autobiographical memoirs of one Lynn Barber. Thanks to this aspect, the movie as a whole ends up carrying more weight than it would have if it had been straight up fiction and the age difference between the two leads is easier to shake being that it’s not just there to be weird.
But true or not, this “Haven’t I seen this before?” vibe is the big thing that held this movie back for me. The script, though well-written by Nick Hornby (as usual), doesn’t really shed light on the subject in a way I’d never heard or read or seen it before. It’s not a bad story in the least, it’s just old hat by now and for all the things the movie does well in other areas, I couldn’t help but feel underwhelmed by it all.
But then there’s the acting, and the acting is darn good. The big mention goes to newcomer Carey Mulligan as our naive little gold digger, Jenny. The one word that I kept coming back to while watching Mulligan and thinking about why she’s getting so much buzz was none other than “lovely”. Maybe that’s just me trying to sound British or something, but there’s a very refreshing quality about her that makes you want to keep watching and keeps you invested, old chaps. She brings an air of level-headed maturity to Jenny that makes her character credible without making her childish. It’s all Carey and it’s all these qualities that not only make her more of an adult than her own father – and that’s not just because her father’s kind of an idiot – but also make her a strong protagonist.
Never seen Mulligan before, but let me tell ya’, she’s got some chops. Not really sure who’s gonna take Best Actress this year, but I’d be happy to see her walk away with it.
And I liked Peter Sarsgaard as our snappy rhino, David, but my good buddy Fred posed a good question, “Has he ever played a role where he wasn’t a huge creep?” Can’t say that I’ve made my way through the Peter Sarsgaard collection, but, yeah, he’s definitely got this go-to creep thing down at the moment. But the thing he does well is that he doesn’t make your skin crawl like a sexual predator and there’s this elegant, endearing mystique about him that draws you in just as it does Jenny. Good job on his part and I bet he’s a swell guy in real life, totally not a creep.
Alfred Molina‘s also worth mentioning as Jenny’s idiot father. Dude’s a good actor to begin with and fits the overprotective paternal role like a glove.
Managed to walk into this one blind without any real idea what it was about or what to expect aside from its Oscar nominations, and while that always makes my day, I thought I’d be a bit more bowled over by this one than I ended up being. Wouldn’t put An Education in my Top Ten of ’09, but thanks to a host of solid performances by a wonderful little cast, the finished product that would have otherwise landed itself a 5 or so was ultimately a satisfying one.
Cheerio, then!
Cut The Crap Movie Reviews 
