BEST MOVIE EVER – Episode 4: Cinema Awkwardiso
Happy Monday, everybody!
This week on Best Movie Ever, Sean and I dish on our most awkward/embarrassing moviegoing experiences, and in honor of Paranormal Activity 4‘s release this Friday, we run down our picks for the Best Worst Horror Movie Ever. Good times all around. So hit the jump, give it a go, and thanks for listening as always!
And the best Hitchcock movie is…
REAR WINDOW!
Had a feeling this was gonna be the winner, but can’t say I wasn’t pulling for NXNW. Nothing against Rear Window though. Hell of a film if there ever was one.
Swell voting, folks. Not really sure why this poll never dawned on me before.
RESULTS:
– Rear Window: 10 votes
– Psycho: 7 votes
– The Birds: 5 votes
– Vertigo: 4 votes (still confuses the hell out of me)
– North by Northwest: 4 votes
– The 39 Steps: 1 vote (very happy to see that get a vote)
– Notorious: 1 vote
– Lifeboat: 1 vote
– Dial M for Murder: 0 votes
– Strangers on a Train: 0 votes
– Rope: 0 votes
– The Lady Vanishes: 0 votes
– The Man Who Knew Too Much: 0 votes
Man, I really need to brush up on my Hitchcock.
Marley (2012)
VERDICT:
9/10 Redemption Songs
But seriously, what is so funny about peace, love, and understanding?
Marley is a documentary about one Nesta Robert Marley: the son of a white father and a black mother who grew up in the destitute streets of Jamaica. Though teased and ridiculed for his bi-racial roots, “Bob” embraced his heritage and worked his way out of the slums by starting a reggae outfit with two of his friends. They called themselves The Wailers, and in short time, they were the biggest thing in Jamaica. Then they conquered England, then they conquered America, and just as they were about to conquer the whole darn world, Bob’s life was tragically cut short. Three decades have passed since his death, but the impression he made has only grown stronger.
I could be totally wrong about this, and I hope I am, but when it comes to Bob Marley, I feel like there are two kinds of people. Those who see the exterior: a dreadlocked pothead whose songs all sound the same, and the primary reason their son came home a burnout by the second semester of college. They do not “get” Bob, they do not “get” reggae, and for all intents and purposes, that’s alright with them. Please forgive me if that came off as a blanket statement, but not being of that mindset, I like to think those people are the minority. And being a part of the so-called majority, I see something different. I see the guy I grew up with.
On the few occasions I’ve been asked what my favorite album of all-time is, I’ve always felt a bit weird responding with a Greatest Hits album. The music snob in me insists that those don’t count. But when I think about the albums that got me into music – Weezer’s “Blue Album,” Foo Fighters, The Beatles’ “Red Album,” Nevermind – there’s always one that comes to mind over the others: Legend. A big part of that answer is due to the music itself, music that’s made such an impact on me that I almost got it tattooed on me (and probably still will). But more than anything, it’s the memories associated. I must have been in third or fourth grade when my dad bought that cassette I’d never seen by that guy I’d never heard of, popped it into the dash, and turned up the volume as the opening guitars from “Is This Love?” echoed through the car speakers. Like a lot of people, it was my first introduction to reggae, and it wasn’t long before I’d memorized all the words. To this day, some of my favorite memories are that of driving along to Bob, and when I finally have kids of my own, you can bet I’ll continue the cycle.
Some music you just grow out of over the years, but that’s never been the case with Legend.
But what’s funny (or unfortunate, really) is that, up until now, Legend was all I knew about Bob. Even more embarrassing is that it’s still the only album of his that I’ve actually listened to. Rest assured, that will be changing, but that’s been the sad state of my affairs. And as for the man behind the music…folks, I have never felt like such a poser as I do now. I didn’t know a damn hing about Bob’s life, and the only thing I knew about his death came from my friend who told me he died of “toe cancer.” Well wouldn’t ya’ know, there’s way to more the story, and as someone who calls himself a Bob fan, I feel shame at having written this paragraph.
No idea why I never so much as looked up his Wikipedia page to alleviate that situation, but by the same token, it strikes me as a tad ridiculous that it took this long for someone to make this movie. Bob Marley died over 31 years ago, and it’s not like his fanbase has dwindled since then. And for that matter, Bob’s not even an exception. I mean, can anyone tell me why no one’s made a Jimi Hendrix biopic yet? What about Jerry Garcia? Miles Davis? James Brown? I could go on, and such is the one silver lining to my regrettable situation: the hope that I’m not the only “fan” out there who didn’t know about Bob.
And as a reintroduction of sorts, it was utterly fascinating.
His story is told through the testimonials of the friends, family, and associates who knew him best, which was the right way for director Kevin Macdonald to go about it. See, when I think of Bob, it’s hard to picture someone other than the icon I’ve seen on posters and album covers all my life. He’s an image first and a tangible person second. With that being said, hearing his biography this way does wonders in dispelling the larger-than-life stigma that’s attached to him. No one talks about how many records he sold or what their favorite song was, it’s just one story after another about their memories of him playing music, playing soccer, and practicing the life that he preached. It’s a personal story, and that’s exactly the way Bob’s story should be told. It’s a rare and special thing to learn about someone for the first time, especially when it’s someone you’ve admired all your life.
Although in a lot of ways, he was that larger-than-life figure. The way he had this Ghandi-esque quality about him that single-handedly united a country divided by hatred and violence. The way people worshiped the guy and were accepted into the fold. And there’s a clear understanding of why people worshiped him, loved him, and wanted to be around him. Not only was he as gifted as they come, but it was his message that made his music universal. Even though it makes me want to facepalm myself every time I hear “One Love” get pimped out by the Jamaican tourism board, that right there’s the kind of music worth living by.
But, more importantly, the testimonials are honest. Little did I know that for all the good Bob did, Bob wasn’t perfect. Turns out that after he got married and had four kids with his wife, Rita, he went and cranked out seven or eight other Marleys with seven or eight other women. According to Rita, everyone was pretty cool with it because that’s just the way Bob rolled, but let me tell ya’, my heart just about sank when that whole part of the story unfolded. Somewhat shattering to hear that the guy you thought was peace and love personified was in fact taking his own love for granted.
It’s no easy pill to swallow, but it’s an important one all the same. I like that Mcdonald didn’t sweep that part of Bob’s life under the rug, that he didn’t paint us a picture of someone who Bob wasn’t. Nobody’s perfect, not even Bob whose life was rooted in his “imperfections.” All in all, it’s just a very interesting portrait with more layers than I was expecting. It was interesting to educate myself about the Rastafari movement as being more than a great way to justify your weed habit. It was interesting to learn more about the history of Jamaica and how it went from a peace-loving country to a political battleground in a very literal sense of the word. It was interesting to see how the world has both changed and stayed the same from the viewpoint of a guy whose message might fall on a lot of deaf ears today. I guess it’s just interesting to listen to Bob in a way I’ve never heard him before.
There aren’t a whole lot of docs out there that fly by over the course of two-and-a-half hours, but Marley was over before I knew it. The music alone was more than enough to keep me glued and smiling right along, and if you’re already on the bandwagon, then this one’s a no-brainer. Not sure how much good I’ve done in convincing the non-believers, but if this review is somehow you’re first time hearing about Bob Marley’s existence, it’s not a bad place to get acquainted. Should probably give Legend a go first, though.
Point is: this movie’s been a long time coming, not just for me, but in general. Granted, my knowledge of the guy was criminally limited at the time. For chrissakes, I think I can name five other reggae acts that have existed since Bob, and two of them have his last name. And while it may be coming late, and while a good deal of this story might come as old hat for anyone who had the wisdom to do some research, it’s never too late and there’s always a good reason to spend time with one of the greats. There’s a lot to be learned from Bob, and until we’re all on the same page, there will always be a lot to learn from Bob.
And that’s the truth, Ruth.
BEST MOVIE EVER – Episode 3: When Boys Became Men
Happy happy Monday, boys and girls! Hope you had a wonderful weekend, and hope you enjoyed that Pats win as much as I did. With that being said, why not ride that high for an extra 90 minutes with the latest episode of the Best Movie Ever podcast? Seems like a no-brainer, right? This week we’re joined by Dylan McAvenia of the Droobis International comedy troupe, plus we reminisce over the first R-rated movies we ever saw and our picks for The Best Time-Travel Movie Ever. Wild stuff, man. So hit the banner above or the link below to listen. Whatever floats your boat, really. Thanks in advance, let us know how we’re doing, and hope this week’s a good’n!
Looper (2012)
VERDICT:
9/10 Time Killers
About as awesome as time travel gets.
Looper is about a hitman living in the not-too-distant future of 2044. Time travel hasn’t been invented yet, but it will be, which is exactly what makes our hitman so special, see. Instead of whacking people in the present like us primitive apes do now, his targets have been sent back in time on a silver platter. He bumps ’em off, takes care of the body, gets paid real nice by his employer (who’s also been sent back in time), and keeps the cycle going as such. Pretty easy gig, actually. Then one day, while getting ready for his next mark, he gets a surprise delivery in the form of his future self. Unfortunately, he’s still got a job to do, even if it is his future self. But since his future self is a lot craftier than he expected, he winds up botching the job and lets his future self get away. So with his employers out for blood and his future on the line, our hitman has to hunt his old ass down before both of ’em wind up dead or worse.
If I were to compile a list of film makers who should be working way more than they are, writer/director Rian Johnson would be right up there in the top three. It’s been a good six years since I saw his debut feature Brick, and ever since that glorious day I’ve been wondering what the hell happened? It was a one-of-a-kind movie, the likes of which should put a director on the map and open up doors for bigger and better things. Instead, it allowed him to make The Brothers Bloom three years later (haven’t seen it, heard mixed things) and direct a few episodes of Breaking Bad and Terriers (albeit some of the best episodes of Breaking Bad and Terriers). For the past six years, that’s what Rian Johnson’s been up to, and for a guy who should be a household name by now, that’s borderline unacceptable.
But now we have Looper, and this time, folks should take notice.
The first thing that’s great about Looper is the way it handles its two genres: one that’s a crap shoot, and one that’s getting old. By and large, when a movie’s dealing with time travel, it usually knows what it’s doing. Paying customers notice loopholes. It’s only when you write yourself into a corner and wind up with two bizarre seasons of LOST that things tend to get wonky. But the thing about time travel as a plot device is that it doesn’t get used all that often, and when it’s used successfully, it’s because it does more than just tie up loose ends. You still need a good story. Which is what brings us to the seemingly-unrelated hitman genre – a genre that we love; a genre that will never die; a genre that has been tackled from every angle imaginable only to be tackled again for good measure.
Separately, they put asses in seats and have given us some mighty fine stories along the way. But together? Now that’s something new. And in a world where ingenuity takes a backseat to profits, something new is a golden ticket.
In terms of how Looper utilizes time travel, it’s somewhere between how Back to the Future and 12 Monkeys used it. Identity crises, fixing the future by changing the past/present – you get the picture. And for the length of the first Act, that’s about the way things go. And trust me, that is not a bad thing. The first Act of this movie might be the best first Act of any movie I’ve seen all year.
At any rate, going off the trailer and the little that I’d known going in, I thought I had a decent idea of how this was all gonna play out. JGL goes after BW, BW gets JGL on his side, then the two of ’em turn the tables on their employers. Something like that. But lo and behold, that’s not how it goes at all. Much like the way Johnson reinvents the two genres he’s working with, he takes us down a road we never saw coming.
It’s interesting because I’ve actually been talking a lot about time travel movies as of late (tune into Best Movie Ever next week for more on that story), along with the different ways time travel’s been used effectively over the years. With that being said, there aren’t a whole lot of movies that swan dive into the complexities of time travel in such a gritty, violent fashion as this does. I guess The Terminator movies count, but those are more like a shallow dive, really. And not only does Looper take a totally inspired approach as far as its premise is concerned, but it’s the way Johnson structures it all that makes it so damn absorbing.
I dig the way he drives the plot by taking steps first, giving us a minute to catch up, and eventually confirming our suspicions through a bare minimum of exposition. What can I say, big fan of film makers who let the audience use their brain. And the system works because it keeps us up to speed without getting ahead of itself or confusing people to the point of aneurysms. Let me tell ya’, there are some flat-out ingenious ways that he uses time travel to his advantage in the first Act, but then Act Two comes around, and it only gets better. Like I said, it marks a total shift in the story we’re hearing and the pace at which it’s being told. Although as the wheels start turning and this crazy new world starts falling into place, that’s when it grabs ya’, and that’s when it gets great.
Speaking of crazy new worlds, this here is some vision of the near-future. The rich are richer and living it up, the poor are poorer and clogging up the streets. Drugs come in eyedrops, telekinesis comes over-the-counter, and for the right amount of silver, you can buy your own hoverbike that’ll probably just crap out on you. Yeah, we’re not that far into the future. 2044 is a very fitting time frame for this ’cause it’s a future that feels like it’s just out of reach. From both a visual and technological standpoint, it’s a prototype of bigger things, and it’s a believable one at that. Nor is there much emphasis on special effects, which also does wonders to keep things grounded.
And I love the way Johnson keeps things simple in that regard. The way targets pop up with no mess, no fuss? The stripped-down shotguns (aka: “blunderbusses”) that the hitmen make their living with? The fact that two-thirds of the movie takes place outside the futuristic city? That stuff is just great, especially when you consider that a lot of directors would take this as a golden opportunity to go ape on the CG. The guy’s got style, he makes it look gorgeous, and truth be told, CG would just cheapen it.
After all, he could have just gone all Benjamin Button on JGL and saved him three hours of makeup each morning. So glad he nixed that creepy-ass idea. Still, it takes a minute to get used to all the “young Bruce Willis” prosthetics they slapped on the guy, and the more I look at him in the photos here, the more he looks like a freak show. But not surprisingly, JGL is still great as always, it’s about the slickest role he’s ever had, and he carries himself in such a way that he actually makes the makeup work. He’s not so much doing a Bruce Willis impression as he is channeling Willis’ mannerisms. Once you get the smolder down, I guess everything else kinda falls into place.
And say what you will about The Expendables 2, plus all the other crap that IMDB says he was in this year, but I think 2012’s been a good one for Bruce Willis. As if is his fantastic and atypical turn in Moonrise Kingdom weren’t enough, he up and kills it in this, effortlessly renewing his Badass Card in the process. It always helps when he’s got good dialogue to work with – dialogue that gets oh-so close to nailing that 1970s-noir vibe it’s going for – but this is just further proof of what BW is capable of when he’s not surfing harrier jets.
Then there’s Jeff Daniels who’s a trip as JGL’s employer; Emily Blunt who rocks it, even though she could have cut back on all the F-bombs; and young newcomer Pierce Gagnon gives the big guys a run for their money. Sensing there might be some debate as to whether Gagnon is either ridiculously good or unintentionally hilarious, but I’m siding firmly with the former on this one. Solid cast all around, though, with some awfully solid characters to boot.
If there’s a complaint to be made, it’s the semi-bullshit observation that, as smart as Looper may be, there’s not much happening below the surface. It’s not using time travel as a metaphor for any kind of deep profundity (hook me up with a gold star for using that word in a sentence), so don’t expect to walk away with more than the satisfaction of having enjoyed yourself for two hours. But for those of us who are more than content with not learning a life lesson each time we hit the theater, Looper is not to be missed and a thoroughly enjoyable two hours at that. An absolute blast, royally well-executed on every darn front, and if someone ever told me it was the best time travel movie out there, I wouldn’t slap them in the face.
Not saying I agree, but this one’s keeper.
American Reunion (2012)
VERDICT:
2/10 Bad Batches
Way to go, guys. Way to ruin a good thing.
American Reunion picks up a good few years after we last caught up with the gang from East Great Falls. Jim and Michelle are parents and their sex life is non-existent; Oz is a big-time sportscaster with a party animal girlfriend; Kevin is happily married, albeit totally whipped; Finch has been traveling the globe; and Stifler’s still Stifler. They’ve all gone their separate ways, that is until they head back to where it all began for their ten-year reunion. What starts out as a weekend for the ages turns into a weekend they’d rather forget as relationships are put to the test and old feelings rise to the surface.
Up until now, my American Pie memories have been pretty fond. I was in seventh grade when the first movie came out and brought my already-awkward fear of girls to a height of near-paralysis. Didn’t even see it until I reached high school, but the chatter at the lunch time from those who had was more than enough to induce flop sweats. Everyone’s got an embarrassing American Pie story, and, more importantly, it’s a quality coming-of-ager that works just as well now as it did then. It changed the game, simple as that. While the sequels never quite captured that same magic, their hearts were in right place and they were enjoyable enough to keep us invested.
Which brings us to American Reunion, a movie that I was really hoping would keep the streak alive. Right off the trailer, the ingredients were there: the original cast was back together, I was humming that damn James song again, and before I knew it, nostalgia had taken over. My hopes had been lifted, but in my heart of hearts, I knew it was a long shot. After all, it was now a quadrilogy. Never a good thing.
At any rate, I don’t know how things went so wrong.
I guess if I can point the finger at any one thing, it’s the writing/directing team of Jon Hurwitz and Hayden Schlossberg. Now, this is the first time in the series that an entry’s had zero writing assistance from the guy who wrote the original American Pie, Adam Herz. Never thought much of his writing chops before, but now I’m convinced he’s a fucking savant. I wish I had known this beforehand so I wouldn’t have kept my hopes at a bare minimum, but still, the absence of Adam Herz should not be so apparent. This is not a complex formula.
On that note, I can’t help this nagging feeling that Hurwitz and Schlossberg have never even seen an American Pie movie. If anything, I can only assmue they watched all those direct-to-DVD spin-offs, got hammered while doing so, and wrote up a script before blacking out on top of it. It looks like an American Pie movie, and it smells like an American Pie movie to boot, but she’s a clever girl, this one, and such is the brilliance of her trap.
Take Stifler for instance. Stifler’s always been a dick, but the last time we saw him, he was actually pretty endearing. He grew up, had himself a steady job coaching lacrosse, and even won the heart of January Jones. Not too shabby, and some might say he carried that movie. That’s the Stifler I remember, that’s the Stifler I was hoping to see more of. But here he is almost ten years later, unrecognizable save physical appearance. That’s because Hurwitz and Schlossberg decided to forget that whole maturation period ever happened. Instead, they present us with a Bizarro World Stifler who hasn’t changed a goddamn inch since the day we first met him, is a way bigger asshole than he’s ever been, and has accomplished nothing in life since graduation. This new Stifler is a caricature of himself, void of redemptive qualities, and much like every other aspect of this movie, he is flat-out awful to be around.
I truly do not understand why they did this, but it’s a running theme throughout and a great example of why this movie sucks as a whole. The most heinous crime that American Reunion commits is that it ignores everything that made its predecessors more than just gross-out teen sex comedies. They had souls and a moral compass to balance out how crude they were. This, on the other hand, is heartless, its plot is shamelessly recycled from past entries, and even for the American Pie movies, it’s insanely hypersexualized to the point of passing as a Girls Gone Wild joint. It’d be one thing if it were at least funny, but that ain’t happening either. Not at all. I could go on, but hopefully you get the idea: this is not an American Pie movie and there is nothing to be gained that couldn’t be found in a centerfold.
The only reason it got such a generous Verdict in the first place is due entirely to John Cho and Eugene Levy: the two people here who actually seem to be trying. Nothing against Eugene Levy, but for a guy who’ll take absolutely any role thrown his way, Eugene Levy should not be any movie’s biggest strength. Yet somehow, some way, Jim’s Dad has become a saving grace. Think that kinda sums it all up.
As someone who had to sit through this shit, it’s already bad enough. But the worst part is knowing that everyone got back together for this of all things. It’s great seeing them all together again at first, but it isn’t long before you just start to feel bad for ’em. I mean, some of these guys have done pretty well for themselves since ’99. Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, and Seann William Scott – those guys don’t need the check, they’re getting by just fine. Wish I could say the same for the rest of the crew, but Mena Suvari, Chris Klein, Natasha Lyonne, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Tara Reid, Thomas Ian Nicholas, and Shannon Elizabeth – this is not how you stage a comeback. You’re better than this. Have some self-respect.
Man, I wish I had better news to report, but the only purpose of American Reunion is to bastardize a franchise that a lot of impressionable young boys and girls have grown to love over the years. And that, boys and girls, is unforgivable. I understand the temptation, it was one I gave into, but do not be fooled. This is a cash cow of the highest order, one that’s shallower than a dish bowl and embarrassing to watch for reasons entirely different from what we’ve come to expect. It should never have happened, but there’s still time to save yourself.
So cherish those memories, never let go, and pray to your god that American Retirement never happens.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2012)
VERDICT:
8/10 Mysterious Ways
Some stoners have all the answers.
Jeff, Who Lives at Home is about a middle-aged slacker named Jeffrey who’s got no job, no girl, and not much going for him outside all the weed he smokes in his mom’s basement. Although what he does have is an outlook on life that he gained from a thorough reading-into of the movie Signs. The outlook goes like this: everyone has their purpose in life, and all we need to do in order to find that purpose is to follow the signs around us. For him, the sign comes from a guy who accidentally phones his house looking for “Kevin.” As it just so happens, the day we meet Jeff also happens to be his mom’s birthday. Her birthday wish: for her son to get out of the house and fix her cabinet in the kitchen. So with the best of intentions, he gets off his ass and heads out into the great beyond. But before he can get to Point B, he finds himself getting sidetracked once “Kevin” starts appearing all around him. Eventually the signs lead him to his estranged brother who’s having the worst day of his life, and as they struggle through their issues with one another, they start to discover what they’ve been looking for all along.
So I’m not sure how this all happened to so quick, but you fine folks are catching me at the peak of a mean Duplass brothers kick right now. First it was Jeff, then I finally got around to crossing Humpday off my Instant queue, then I cruised through the first two season of The League in record time, and THEN I decided to watch The Puffy Chair five hours ago. Folks, I can’t remember the last time I felt so compelled to burn through the works of a film maker the way I have with these two young bloods, and as semi-weird as that may sound, it’s the god’s honest truth. What can I say, it’s been a really fun ride.
But one of the many upsides of watching all these Duplass features is that I’ve gradually come to understand the heart of my fixation and why I keep coming back. If there’s one common theme across all these titles I’ve mentioned, it’s that of self-discovery. These movies tend to be driven by two kinds of people: those who think they’ve found their calling in life, and those who are still looking for it. Nothing all that uncommon, and the same can be said for the circumstances we find them in. But if my undying adoration for Lester Burnham is any indication, this is my kinda theme. For me, that’s a big part of what makes their stories so compelling: the way they go from commonplace to invigorating while remaining universally relatable throughout. Doesn’t hurt that they’re so funny and well-written either.
Now, I’m 25 and happily married, and I’m still searching for that calling in life. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I’m alone on that one, and I think it’d be hard for anyone not to empathize with Jeff in that regard either. As hilarious as it is that his life coach is M. Night Shyamalan, and as easy as it may be to write him off as a burnout man-child with no direction in life, he’s a man-child after my own heart. Even before meeting Jeff, I was a true believer in the notion that we’re all here for a reason and that a big part of living is taking steps to find out what that is. Doesn’t necessarily mean wandering through the projects because that’s where “KEVIN” is, but the fact that he does is what makes him so likable.
I loved the dynamic between him and his brother: a man hellbent on controlling every aspect of his life. I loved the dynamic between him and his mother: a woman who longs for a life that she thinks out of reach. I loved watching Jeff wander from one sign to the next, making believers out of his critics. Ultimately, Jeff is at testament to the perks of letting go and trusting that life will work itself out, and a pleasant reminder to those who’ve lost track of the world around them. Everyone needs that reminder. And once everyone starts drinking Jeff’s Kool-Aid, it’s amazing how this story goes from ordinary to extraordinary. So many magical, everyday moments that will only make you wonder about the life you’ve been missing out on.
It’s surprisingly deep in ways that movies don’t typically get, and in ways I certainly wasn’t expecting to get from this either. Yes, there’s a lot to be gained from Jeff, but there’s a lot to be gained from those around him, too. Talking ’bout some seriously existential shit, yo.
And on top of all that, it’s got an awfully swell cast to boot.
Great to see Ed Helms doing some against-type work for a change as Jeff’s brother, Pat. The whole Andy Bernard thing’s been getting old since The Office refused to end three seasons ago, but it wasn’t until now that I had an overwhelming urge to punch Ed Helms in the face. Gotta say, it’s an awfully refreshing feeling. Didn’t know he had it him, but he does a really good job of acting the prick and looking it, too. Kids, nothing screams “DOUCHE!” like a used car salesman with a Porsche and a goatee. Write that one down.
And speaking of against-type performances, I am all about Judy Greer’s departure from Hollywood’s bin of psycho bitches and her recent arrival as a legitimately good actress. Still getting used to Judy v. 2.0, but when you couple her solid performance in The Descendants with her turn here as Pat’s unhappy wife, you’ve got yourself a gal worth watching. Just a bummer it took so long for her to break out of that shell.
Will also support just about any movie that gives Susan Sarandon a leading role. The woman can do no wrong.
And as for Jason Segel, well, another reason Jeff’s so damn likable is because he’s played by one of the most likable humans on the planet. I keep waiting for the day when I’m gonna tire of Jason Segel, but that day just never seems to come. Even after all the How I Met Your Mother re-runs I’ve sat through, and even though he keeps on playing slight variations of the same-freaking-guy, all I want to do is hang out with the guy. The man’s an anomaly, and frankly, I’m stunned that he’s managed to stay so outrageously endearing for so long without selling out or wearing out. But in spite of how tailor-made he is for the role, he’s fantastic as Jeff. Granted, Jeff was a great character to begin with, but come on, what’s not to like about Jason Segel? Doesn’t bother me in the slightest to have him as my wife’s celebrity crush.
I hadn’t gathered much about this movie before going into it, but I was expecting something a whole lot quirkier and forgettable than what I got. I mean, if it weren’t for Jeff, Who Lives at Home, I never would have gotten into the Duplass brothers to begin with. While that in itself makes it worthy of an 8, there’s just so much here to admire. This is one of the most fulfilling and life-affirming movies I’ve seen all year – a sentiment which resonates that much more when you least expect its arrival. Taking a perfectly mundane premise and turning it into a story that’s larger-than-life is no easy feat, and what the Duplass brothers accomplish by doing just that is something worth writing home about. Long review short: some movies just make you happy.
And you gotta love a movie that scores a montage to the new Beck song.
And the best Breaking Bad character is…
MIKE EHRMANTRAUT!
Yes, that is actually his last name.
Gotta say I’m partial to Gus and Saul, but that Mike is a badass and it’s about damn time Jonathan Banks got his due after all these years of character acting. Swell voting, gang.
And apologies to anyone who was jonesing for a movie poll these past two weeks, but after plowing through the first four seasons at superhuman speed this past month, it just had to be Breaking Bad. Seriously, if you haven’t watched Breaking Bad, watch Breaking Bad. You’re welcome.
RESULTS:
– Mike: 12 votes
– Jesse: 8 votes
– Gus: 6 votes
– Walt: 6 votes
– Saul: 5 votes
– Tuco: 3 votes
– Tio: 2 dings
– “Flynn”: 2 votes
– Hank: 2 votes
– Skinny Pete: 1 vote
– Badger: 1 vote
– Skyler: 1 vote
– Marie: 0 votes (agreed)
– The Cousins: 0 votes
Now, please don’t spoil anything for me in the comments section, folks. Still haven’t seen Season 5 yet, and knowing this show, some crazy crap may very well have happened since I last tuned in.
BEST MOVIE EVER – Episode 2: Electric Boogaloo
Happy Monday, everybody! Hope you all had a glorious weekend, and what better way to kick off the grind than pretending you’re hard at work when you’re actually listening to EPISODE 2 of the BEST MOVIE EVER PODCAST! This week we have our very first guest on the show, we talk about the first movies we ever saw in a theater, and round things out by running down our picks for the Best Coming-of-Age Movie Ever. It gets real, yo.
Anyhow, we had a blast with it and we (like to) think you will to. So click through that logo up there or just follow the link below for eargasms galore!
Dredd (2012)
VERDICT:
8/10 Concrete Jungles
Can we please get more remakes like this? Pretty please?
Dredd takes place in a future America that’s been nuked down to a wasteland. The only civilization left standing is a stretch from Boston to D.C. – now known as Mega City One. The crime rate is suffocating, a drug called Slo-Mo rules the streets, and the only thing standing between order and full-out chaos are Judges. Enter Dredd, a veteran Judge who’s damn good at his job. But much to his disapproval, the day we meet him is the day he’s partnered up with a rookie psychic who doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into. With introductions out of the way, they respond to their first call after three bodies are found mutilated in a local Mega Building run by a cold-blooded drug lord. They snoop around, make some arrests, and before they know it, they’re trapped inside and shooting their way through 200 floors of mayhem.
It’s The Raid: Redemption set in the post-apocalypse, not that that’s a bad thing.
From the first day I learned of this movie’s existence, I think I had the same gut reaction as most of humanity: “No.” Remaking Judge Dredd should not be a priority, let alone a reality. In a world that’s overrun by unnecessary and unoriginal movies that absolutely no one asked for, the existence of Dredd felt like a slap in the crotch. Might as well remake Battlefield Earth. The release day of Dredd was a day I was dreading (oh yes, I went there), but then the reviews started popping up, and lo and behold, it wound up hovering comfortably in the 90% range on Rotten Tomatoes before eventually dropping down to the high 70s.
This led me to two conclusions: A) People are idiots; or, B) Maybe there’s hope after all. Then I got to thinking about my own thoughts on remakes. Folks, by and large, most remakes and reboots have no place in this world since most of ’em these days get made just because. Why remake Total Recall when the original is still one of the greatest sci-fi movies ever made? Bad, Hollywood. Bad! Not to say that all remakes are bad, but I’m of the mindset that there are three valid reasons for a remake or reboot: 1) A once-great franchise has strayed from its former greatness (eg: Batman, James Bond); 2) A great movie from years past never got its proper due for some reason or other (eg: Inglourious Basterds); 3) A movie got made, it legitimately sucked, and now we have the wherewithal to make it something great. And if it doesn’t fall into those three, then stay the eff away.
Dredd, on the other hand, most definitely falls into that third category. And once this epiphany took place, my mind opened up. Still can’t believe I liked this as much as I did, but who doesn’t love a good cinematic redemption?
Now, since I’m generally unfamiliar with the source material in any way, shape, or form, I genuinely considered biting the bullet on this one and actually subjecting myself to Judge Dredd beforehand. Common sense ultimately won the war that day. From what I gather, the comic series that it’s based on are awesome, and from what I gathered further, Judge Dredd just dropped the ball. I’ve only seen bits and pieces of it, mainly ones that revolved around Rob Schneider and cyborg cannibals, but that seemed like enough to go off of. Word on the street is that it took itself way too seriously and suffered for it in excess, and given the destructive powers of Rob Schneider that we’re all too familiar with, I can see why things went so awry.
Although the funny thing is that Dredd also takes itself pretty damn seriously, but instead of becoming an Achilles’ heel, it blossoms into a core strength that in many ways makes the whole so good. I mean, this is an unusually solid action movie in ways that action movies rarely excel. Since we’re already on the subject, let’s take The Raid: Redemption for example. If you’re jonesing for non-stop ass-kickery that requires a bare minimum of brain activity, you ain’t gonna do much better. It excels and then some in terms of capitalizing on its choreography and letting that carry the weight of everything else, and while everything else is fine, “fine” is an easy bar to raise. So while it may not run on cheetah blood like its Indonesian brother from another mother, Dredd, on the other hand, covers all its bases like a boss.
The writing in particular is definitely above-average for the genre. It’s not without its fair share of familiar scenarios, but I am such a huge fan of scripts that manage to finagle their way through ’em so that they seem brand new. I’m tellin’ ya’, some of those scenes impressed the pants off me. And there’s not much in the way of plot twists or life lessons, but the characters are top-notch and the dialogue is sharp. Most notable is the stellar dynamic between Dredd and the rookie, Judge Anderson. For a role that’s totally out of Olivia Thirlby’s wheelhouse, holy crap, was she a surprise. Absolutely holds her own, handles the character perfectly, and quickly ends up being a real badass in her own fantastic way. Whereas Dredd has the moral compass of a double-sided coin, she’s the voice of reason that keeps things human. It’s a relationship that only gets better, and that’s largely due to her fleshed-out development. It’s a beautiful thing.
And as for Karl Urban, well, up until now, Karl Urban barely existed to me. It wasn’t until someone else reminded me about his role in Star Trek that I even remembered I’d seen him before. Plus, he’s got the same name as a kid I went to high school with, and I was never a big fan of that Karl Urban either. Anyway, I was skeptical at first when it seemed like he was channeling Stallone a little bit harder than anyone in a non-comedic role should be channeling Stallone, but the guy started to grow on me. Certainly helps that Dredd is such a badass character to begin with, although Urban’s presence is what makes it. A risky choice given how few people actually know who the dude is, but a choice that paid off all the same.
Bonus points for casting an unrecognizable Cersei Lannister as the drug lord. Girl rocked that ish.
And then there’s the matter of how it looks, and it looks really good. There isn’t a whole lot of time spent outdoors here, but when we do get the pleasure of seeing Mega City One in all its panoramic glory, it is something else to gawk at. I’m a stickler if there ever was one for visions of the post-apocalypse, and with its stark simplicity of gun-metal greys against an endless backdrop of hazy whites, this one’s a bonafide keeper, folks. And considering how much I hate slow-mo thanks to Zack Snyder’s insistence on filming entire movies in bullet time, this might be the first movie since The Matrix where I actually thought they pulled it off. The trick is the way director Pete Travis elevates it from a worn-out gimmick by piggybacking off the script by Alex Garland that turns Slow-Mo into a plot device. Hard to explain without seeing it in action, but this is the first time in ages where I wasn’t rolling my eyes at this stuff. Again, it’s a beautiful thing.
Plus, the actions scenes are legit. Make no mistake, this is one of the most uber-violent movies I’ve seen in a while. Blood everywhere, the slow-mo makes it that much worse – not really my thing. When it rains, it pours, but at least it comes in waves. Still, it’s generally a total blast. Love that Judge Dredd only has a handgun the entire time, also love that it can do a dozen different things that all get used to great effect. Feel like this is the kind of movie and character that would jump at the chance to take notes from Doom, but there’s something very boss about running train with a pea shooter.
Last year at this time, I never would have imagined myself giving this such a positive review, let alone watching Dredd in the first place without having lost a bet. Man, I’ve been making fun of this movie for weeks now, scoffing at that Tomatometer with a mind that it was doomed, nay, destined to suck. And I know it might look stupid, I know it might be tough to buy any of this with the memory of Judge Dredd still lingering in your memory. But truth be told, it’s some of the most fun I’ve had in a theater all year. For me, this is a watershed moment for the remake craze right now, so much so that I would love to see it become a franchise. Always great when a movie’s so good it makes you want to jump head-first into the source material.
I feel like this is what the Resident Evil series has been trying to pull off for a decade now, only not failing miserably for five straight entries. I don’t care what the box office says, that series is a disgrace to anyone who’s played a Resident Evil game. But hey, if this is how remakes are gonna look from here on out, then I am all about that Battlefield Earth remake.
Cut The Crap Movie Reviews 